DEAR ABBY: Thanks to reading about International Soundex Reunion Registry in your column, the son I gave up for adoption 26 years ago is back in my life.

I remember being drawn to the concept of ISRR, which, unlike other means of locating a child or birthparent, requires that both parties register and want to find each other in order for a match to be made. I clipped that column and kept it until I knew my son had turned 18, then sent for and completed the form. (That was in 1988.) Finally, a month ago, I got the call -- my son had registered the week before!

Giving up my baby boy was the most difficult thing I have ever done. Over the years, I assured myself that I did the right thing, but I've regretted it ever since. I never stopped wondering where my son was, who he looked like, and if he was healthy and happy. I cried buckets of tears and never quit praying.

Finding him, knowing he wanted to find me, and finally getting to be a mom (I never had any other children) has been my greatest joy.

Thank you, Abby and ISRR, for this miracle. I hope you print the address again so many others will also have an opportunity to unite. -- A MOM AT LAST, SAN RAMON, CALIF.

DEAR MOM: Thank you for sharing the story of your heartwarming reunion with your son. My best wishes to you both.

Readers, for those of you who may not have clipped the address for ISRR and would now like to have it, it is: P.O. Box 2312, Carson City, Nev. 89702. Please enclose a self-addressed, stamped, business-size envelope for a reply.

DEAR ABBY: A few years ago, our son and his wife had a relatively large formal wedding with a sit-down dinner.

The invitations requested "no children, please," yet the bride's aunt brought her hyperactive 5-year-old granddaughter. Although she was a pretty little girl, she took over the reception dinner by running around the dining area, drinking champagne and dancing every dance.

When the bridal bouquet was thrown, guess who caught it. Needless to say, we were very unhappy that she was there because not only did she detract from the bride and groom, but she took over. We have a grandson approximately the same age who is quiet and well-mannered and who would have been thrilled to be invited to a wedding.

I'm sure "A Family Man in Bangor, Maine" is a wonderful, well-meaning dad, but when one ignores the request of the bride and groom, one must wonder how many people like us feel outraged.

No matter how cute the children, the stars of every wedding should be the bride and groom. -- OUTRAGED IN LINCOLN, NEB.

DEAR OUTRAGED: Anyone who has read my column for any length of time knows that I agree with you 100 percent. Not only did the bride's aunt commit a breach of etiquette by bringing her 5-year-old to the wedding, she compounded it by failing to assert parental authority when her child went out of control. And permitting a youngster to drink an alcoholic beverage is dangerous for the child and also against the law.

I heard from many readers condemning the practice of bringing children to weddings. Read on for another letter:

DEAR ABBY: May I add my comments to the ongoing saga about very young children at weddings?

I am a clergyman who has performed hundreds of wedding ceremonies over the past 20 years. I am also a family man with grown children and grandchildren.

Can you imagine what it's like to officiate at a wedding with a baby screaming at the top of its lungs? Have you ever watched and listened to a video of a wedding with two or three babies crying while the parents make no attempt to quiet them?

I recently officiated at a wedding when a baby started to scream so loudly I couldn't hear myself talk. The mother and her screaming baby were in the second row. The mother stood up, holding the baby, and just let it scream.

I stopped the ceremony, then the bride turned around and motioned for the mother to take the baby out, which she finally did. (What a "beautiful" memory that bride will have of her wedding.)

I have seen numerous brides break down in tears because their wedding was ruined by a crying baby. The babies weren't to blame; it was their mothers' fault! -- LAKELAND, FLA.

For Abby's favorite family recipes, send a long, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Cookbooklet No. 1, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: Thank you for printing the warning signs of an abusive partner. However, you have unfairly portrayed men as the only abusers. Not so; women can also be abusers.

My brother was married to a physically abusive woman who exhibited all 15 points you mentioned in your column. It wasn't until he joined a support group and heard about similar experiences that he realized he wasn't the only man who got beat up by a woman.

After much research, I find that women are just as abusive as men in relationships.

Women are able to get away with abusing men because most men are too embarrassed to report it. With the massive attention now given to domestic violence, I feel it's time the other side of the story is told.

Abby, I am sure it would be a great relief to many men to see this in print. -- E.V. LILAND, DALLAS

DEAR E.V. LILAND: If what you state is true, that women are just as abusive as men in relationships, then I would like to see the statistics. Although I have no doubt that many men have been subjected to abuse by their spouses, my experts tell me that their numbers are dwarfed by the vast number of women who experience physical abuse at the hands of their husbands or boyfriends.

While researching a column about spousal abuse a year or so ago, I inquired if shelters were available for male victims of spousal battery. I was told that there are no shelters for men in California. Men are presumed able to provide for themselves.

Abused women are often captives in the abusive relationship, fearing that if they leave, they will be killed. Frequently they have been isolated by their abuser, have no money, credit or job skills, and feel they'll be unable to support themselves and their children. The same is not true for men.

DEAR ABBY: A few months ago, you published a letter from "Florida Wife," whose husband needs oxygen all the time and must carry a portable tank when they go out. She asked what to do in a restaurant when her husband needs to use the restroom, as the tank is too cumbersome for him to manage alone.

I also have to be on oxygen around the clock and have found the portable tank very inconvenient. Through my oxygen company, I obtained an "Oxymatic" (a lightweight computer that's attached to a gauge and to a canister filled with concentrated oxygen). It weighs only 4 pounds and can be used up to 7 1/2 to eight hours. It comes in a compact, nice-looking carrying case and can be carried by the handle or a shoulder strap. It's very convenient, and I easily manage alone in restrooms.

"Florida Wife" should contact her husband's oxygen company. I understand the cost is covered by Medicare.

Abby, I hope this information will help someone -- it has certainly made my life easier. You may use my name. -- JEAN BRIXIUS, LAKEWOOD, COLO.

DEAR JEAN: Your suggestion of a more compact oxygen system is excellent and should prove helpful to those who are required to have oxygen with them at all times. I checked, and portable and stationary oxygen equipment is covered by Medicare.

DEAR ABBY: I've found that stopping the flow of junk mail is nearly impossible. I once telephoned a catalog company and asked that my name be deleted.

Sure enough, my next catalog was addressed to: "Mary Delete McEvoy." -- MARY T. MC EVOY, D.D.S., MINNEAPOLIS

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: You seem to have answers to just about everything, so I'm wondering if you can help me on this:

When was the Unknown Soldier buried in Washington, D.C.? Also, in which branch of the military was he? In which war did he fight? How was he identified? Was the soldier a male or a female?

Thanks for any information you can give me. -- LILLIE NORRIS, HUGO, OKLA.

DEAR LILLIE NORRIS: When World War I ended, officials from the Allied countries -- Belgium, France, Great Britain, Italy and the United States -- found that the bodies of many soldiers killed in battle could not be identified. The governments decided to honor the memory of those soldiers in some special way. Each government chose a symbolic unknown soldier (probably male since females were not sent into battle at that time), buried the remains near their national capitol, and built a monument in honor of that soldier.

Belgium placed its unknown soldier in a tomb at the base of Colonnade of the Congress in Brussels.

France buried its unknown soldier beneath the Arc de Triomphe in the center of Paris, and keeps a perpetual flame burning over the grave.

Great Britain buried its unknown soldier in Westminster Abbey.

Italy's unknown soldier lies in front of the monument to Victor Emmanuel in Rome.

The unknown soldier of the United States was one of four unidentified war dead taken from American cemeteries in France. An American soldier, Sgt. Edward Younger, selected the soldier from these four. The remains were brought to the U.S. Capitol to lie in state.

On Armistice Day, Nov. 11, 1921, the soldier was buried in Arlington National Cemetery in Virginia, across the Potomac River from Washington, D.C. The tomb, completed in 1931, has a white marble sarcophagus over the grave and bears the inscription, "Here rests in honored glory an American soldier known but to God."

Congress later directed that an unknown soldier from each of three wars -- World War II, the Korean War and the Vietnam War -- be buried near or beside the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier. The World War II and Korean War unknown soldiers were buried in marble crypts at the head of the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier on Memorial Day in 1958. The unknown soldier from the Vietnam War was buried between them.

A memorial amphitheater, built by the Grand Army of the Republic to honor members of the armed forces killed in battle, stands near the tomb. Memorial Day services are held there each year.

An honor guard from the Honor Guard Co. of the 1st Battle Group, 3rd Infantry, Fort Myer, Va., keeps a sentry on duty at the tomb at all times. The sentry is changed every hour during the day and about every two hours at night.

Today we honor all those who have given their lives in the line of duty -- on land, at sea and in the air.

God speed the day when we can settle our differences with words instead of bombs and gunfire. Only then we can claim to be truly civilized.

For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)