DEAR ABBY: You seem to have answers to just about everything, so I'm wondering if you can help me on this:

When was the Unknown Soldier buried in Washington, D.C.? Also, in which branch of the military was he? In which war did he fight? How was he identified? Was the soldier a male or a female?

Thanks for any information you can give me. -- LILLIE NORRIS, HUGO, OKLA.

DEAR LILLIE NORRIS: When World War I ended, officials from the Allied countries -- Belgium, France, Great Britain, Italy and the United States -- found that the bodies of many soldiers killed in battle could not be identified. The governments decided to honor the memory of those soldiers in some special way. Each government chose a symbolic unknown soldier (probably male since females were not sent into battle at that time), buried the remains near their national capitol, and built a monument in honor of that soldier.

Belgium placed its unknown soldier in a tomb at the base of Colonnade of the Congress in Brussels.

France buried its unknown soldier beneath the Arc de Triomphe in the center of Paris, and keeps a perpetual flame burning over the grave.

Great Britain buried its unknown soldier in Westminster Abbey.

Italy's unknown soldier lies in front of the monument to Victor Emmanuel in Rome.

The unknown soldier of the United States was one of four unidentified war dead taken from American cemeteries in France. An American soldier, Sgt. Edward Younger, selected the soldier from these four. The remains were brought to the U.S. Capitol to lie in state.

On Armistice Day, Nov. 11, 1921, the soldier was buried in Arlington National Cemetery in Virginia, across the Potomac River from Washington, D.C. The tomb, completed in 1931, has a white marble sarcophagus over the grave and bears the inscription, "Here rests in honored glory an American soldier known but to God."

Congress later directed that an unknown soldier from each of three wars -- World War II, the Korean War and the Vietnam War -- be buried near or beside the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier. The World War II and Korean War unknown soldiers were buried in marble crypts at the head of the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier on Memorial Day in 1958. The unknown soldier from the Vietnam War was buried between them.

A memorial amphitheater, built by the Grand Army of the Republic to honor members of the armed forces killed in battle, stands near the tomb. Memorial Day services are held there each year.

An honor guard from the Honor Guard Co. of the 1st Battle Group, 3rd Infantry, Fort Myer, Va., keeps a sentry on duty at the tomb at all times. The sentry is changed every hour during the day and about every two hours at night.

Today we honor all those who have given their lives in the line of duty -- on land, at sea and in the air.

God speed the day when we can settle our differences with words instead of bombs and gunfire. Only then we can claim to be truly civilized.

For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: You were way off the mark in your response to "Scared in Pennsylvania," the seventh-grader whose school was full of weapons and drugs. Since "Scared" wanted advice on how to protect him or herself, I hope you will publish the following tips as soon as possible. Platitudes like "be brave" mean squat when you're facing a knife or worse. Kids do need to know these skills, whether or not adults consider it necessary.

(1) First, take a self-defense course at your local YMCA or community college. If it's not offered, they'll know where it's available. Your school might offer something similar, maybe boxing or karate. I was no athlete, but neither was I known as a couch potato. Make certain you aren't perceived as physically vulnerable, especially if you're a girl. (I am.)

(2) When someone approaches you about drugs, don't look at him or her if you can avoid it. Shake your head, say no, and keep walking. Be matter-of-fact, calm, and don't worry about appearing impolite. Politeness isn't important to people like that.

(3) Same with fights. GET OUT OF THERE! You might not know whether the involved parties have weapons, but don't stay to find out. "Cool" kids will probably watch, but smart ones won't. (Gawkers can get shot or stabbed just as easily as the idiots who are fighting.) NOW is the time to tell an adult -- any adult -- but don't offer your name to that person if you can avoid it. A simple, "There's a fight down there," and a pointed finger will do.

(4) Learn which adults are cool about not naming names and get to know them. Those are the ones to trust in a tough spot. But be selective about how often you fill them in. If you're pegged a snitch, the rest of your time in that school will be miserable, if not dangerous.

(5) On the other hand, if you're ever backed into a corner, scream your head off! It will draw attention and make you a less easy victim. If you're shy, or afraid you won't be able to scream, PRACTICE. (Just warn your family before you start.)

(6) Finally, be alert. If you see hands flashing in ways you don't understand, go the other way. Don't go in or stay in stairwells or restrooms alone; even if you're not with a friend, walk quietly behind a group. If you can't avoid being alone, be prepared to walk into a classroom if you're followed. It's hard to do if you're shy, but teachers will understand if you tell them what's up.

If, after graduating, you feel your school is not a place you would want to send your kids, then try working within the system to change it, or consider moving. I did the latter, and I have never regretted my decision. -- BEEN THERE

DEAR BEEN THERE: Thank you for an excellent and informative letter. Your suggestions are sure to be appreciated by many teens who feel threatened at school. It's a long way from my high school days, when chewing gum in the classroom was considered a major infraction.

DEAR ABBY: You don't deserve "10 whacks with a wet diaper ..." for your advice to "Old-Fashioned Grandma" concerning mixed-generation showering. You said that she was not old-fashioned, that "a 3-year-old child should not shower or bathe with a parent of the opposite sex ..." Surely you know that because some activity is popular for a time, it is not necessarily wise. I think you were right. You just have to be prepared to be unpopular in some circles -- for a while. -- ALBERT W. EISENHAUER, BALLSTON SPA, N.Y.

DEAR ALBERT: Thanks. I needed that.

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I celebrated our eighth wedding anniversary recently. He is 70 and I am 56. He had been married for many years and was a widower when we met. I had never been married. Abby, I lived 48 years without a husband, so I know how to appreciate the loving sweetheart I have now.

When I see letters about husbands and wives picking each other apart over trifles, I just shake my head. If they'd had to wait as long as I did, they wouldn't waste time fighting over insignificant issues like whether a toilet seat should be up or down, or whether he picked out an appropriate gift.

We may not always agree on everything, but we would never wound each other and ruin a loving marriage with harsh, cutting words. Life is too short ever to go to bed mad.

Having my husband sit across from me at dinner and sleeping next to me at night is the greatest gift I could ever ask for. I thank God for him every day, and I let him know how much he's loved. Thanks for letting me express my feelings. -- THE HAPPIEST WOMAN IN OHIO

DEAR HAPPIEST WOMAN: Thank you for a day-brightener. You and your husband must be a delight, not only to each other, but also to those around you. I hope your letter reminds couples everywhere to take a second, more appreciative look at the person sitting across the breakfast table.

DEAR ABBY: My friend "Lucy" has been dating "Mark" for two years, and they just got engaged.

After several outings at the beginning of their relationship, I decided that I didn't like Mark. I thought the way he treated Lucy and me was rude and obnoxious. I told Lucy that I wouldn't socialize with Mark anymore and told her my reason.

Now that Lucy and Mark are engaged to be married, however, she keeps pushing me to meet him again, saying I never gave him a fair chance. I stand by my decision. When she asked what would happen when she married him, I told her I would be cordial, but if she expected me to come over for dinner or to play bridge with him, I wouldn't. I don't like Mark and he doesn't like me.

Then Lucy dropped a bomb. Abby, she says if I won't accept Mark, then I am abusing her and our friendship. I was floored. How am I supposed to respond to that? -- ABUSER OR ABUSED?

DEAR ABUSER OR ABUSED: You are abusing neither Lucy nor the friendship. Your opinion of him clearly hasn't influenced her decision -- Lucy and Mark are now engaged. Since tolerating Mark is now a condition of your continued friendship with Lucy, you must decide whether you're willing to pay that price.

DEAR ABBY: I need advice on how to handle a well-meaning friend who continually asks me how much money I spend on things I wear and also purchase for my home. I find this very rude on her part.

She has been a good friend for many years, but her questions about the cost of everything are really getting on my nerves. How do I get my point across without losing her friendship? -- NO NAME, INITIALS OR TOWN

DEAR NO NAME: Try this (with a smile, of course): "I will forgive you for asking, if you will forgive me for not answering."

For Abby's favorite family recipes, send a long, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Cookbooklet No. 1, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)