DEAR ABBY: I have a friend who lives in a distant city and who occasionally calls me at work from her home, where she works, just to "keep in touch" for five or 10 minutes of chatting.

I hope you won't think I'm being petty, but I'm developing a pet peeve about how these conversations start off. Once I answer my phone (at work), she asks me to hang up and call her back so that MY company will pay for the call rather than have it on her telephone bill. Considering that this is the only way we "spend time" together, given the distance separating us, I feel she's subtly saying that my friendship isn't worth the dollar or two invested in the call. By the way, I am certain she can afford it.

Abby, am I being overly sensitive, or is this a rude practice? -- CALIFORNIAN

DEAR CALIFORNIAN: You are not being overly sensitive, and your friend is not only being rude, she is spending your company's money and occupying your time.

The next time she calls, tell her that you are not comfortable with personal calls on company time, and ask her to please call you at home.

DEAR ABBY: My family recently moved to this city, and in my new high school, two girls who are best friends have taken me under their wing, and we have become a threesome. One of the girls, "Jenny," has a backyard swimming pool and once school is out, they spend most of their afternoons sunbathing and swimming in the pool. They want me to join them. The problem is, they skinny-dip and sunbathe in the nude.

I told them that I am uncomfortable with it and they responded that I was being a prude. The pool is secluded, and Jenny's mom does not allow her to invite guys over to swim, but I am still unsure. Could they be lesbians? Is there any harm in swimming in the nude? What should I do? -- UNSURE

DEAR UNSURE: Everyone has the right to view nudity the way she chooses. Yes, they could be lesbians, but chances are they're just two straight females who are comfortable with their own bodies. There's no harm in swimming in the nude; however, you should do only that with which you feel comfortable.

DEAR ABBY: We have your book, "The Best of Dear Abby," which was published in 1981. It is wonderful -- rich with human interest, frequent grins, laughs and guffaws!

Have you published a similar book since then?

Apparently you've been at your "Dear Abby" job about 40 years. Keep it up -- we need your down-to-earth philosophy. -- LARRY E. HORN, LOS ANGELES

DEAR LARRY: Thank you for your kind words. Jan. 9 marked my 40th anniversary as Dear Abby.

I have been contemplating writing another book, with a working title of "The Rest of the Best of Dear Abby." I would welcome input from my readers, so if you have a favorite Dear Abby letter, please send it to: Dear Abby Favorite Letter, P.O. Box 531, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054.

DEAR ABBY: After reading the comments in your column about junk mail, I had to share my experience with you. It all started in Vancouver, where my wife ordered a sweater for me from the landlady who ran the bed and breakfast inn where we were staying. The landlady wanted to be paid only for the yarn, not her time. She suggested we give what we felt it was worth to our favorite charity.

When we received the sweater at home in Pennsylvania two months later, my wife sent a check to the landlady and asked her to put her favorite charity on the check. Soon my wife was getting pelted with financial support letters from Jimmy Swaggart's ministry. Finally, I wrote "DECEASED" on one of the solicitations and returned it. Presto! She no longer got mail from Jimmy Swaggart.

My brother-in-law, a doctor in Miami, heard how I got rid of my "junk mail" and put "deceased" on all of his junk mail and returned it to sender. A few weeks later, he realized that he was not receiving important mail that he was expecting. He then found out that his postman had seen "deceased" on his mail and, assuming that he was indeed dead, had put "deceased" on his first-class mail and sent it back, too. My brother-in-law then discovered that he'd been mourned by his Harvard classmates and was no longer a member of some of his clubs and associations.

His remark to me was, "The next time you get a smart idea, don't tell me about it!" -- AN ABBY FAN IN LAKE WALES, FLA.

P.S. About 30 years ago, I wrote you about my wife not being interested in sex. You suggested we see a sex therapist, only we couldn't afford to go because I was starting a new business. This year, when things went from bad to worse, we started going to a therapist -- and we wished we had taken your advice years ago!

DEAR FAN IN LAKE WALES: Better late than never.

DEAR ABBY: I have never written to you before, but I read the letter from "Wondering in Missouri," about the lady who wanted to know if she should give her children things that were special to her before she passed away. Yes, yes, yes -- please do!

My mom died earlier this year and none of her wishes were obeyed. For years and years, she had been telling everyone the things that she wanted her children and grandchildren to have. Well, after she was gone, her husband ignored her wishes, refused to pay one cent for the funeral, and treated us worse than anyone could ever begin to imagine. He kept everything she wanted her loved ones to have.

I and her granddaughters are devastated. We not only have to live every single day with the grief of losing her, but we have nothing of hers that she wanted us to have. Mother would be so very sad.

Her husband destroyed her will and did not even give us the courtesy of seeing her last words. So, if you have loved ones who are special to you -- then please, please give them the things that you want them to have before you die. We can't even get a lawyer to try and fight this injustice because we can't afford it. My heart is broken. -- BROKENHEARTED IN OREGON

DEAR BROKENHEARTED: I have often said, "Do your giving while you're living, and you'll be knowing where it's going."

DEAR ABBY: I am forwarding this letter to you from my mother, who recently died from ALS (Lou Gehrig's disease). She wrote it almost one year before her death, when she was diagnosed with this terminal disease. She left it for us to send to you because she wanted people who are against issues such as assisted suicide to feel what she was going through. She asked for open-mindedness and understanding. Her words are better than any of ours, for only she truly knew what she had to face. -- KRISTIN BULL, MADISON, WIS.

DEAR KRISTIN: Please accept my sympathy at this sad time. Your mother makes a powerful argument for her point of view:

DEAR ABBY: Have you ever faced death with someone you dearly loved? Have you watched a loved one go through excruciating pain or helpless and hopeless suffering, because it's obvious the end is near?

I would like to spare my husband, daughters, parents, family and friends, as well as myself. I'm not so much scared to leave this life as I am of the journey that's in store for me. After being diagnosed with ALS, I have prayed for the strength to go with dignity. How can one be dignified while struggling with breathing, swallowing and all other muscular functions of the body?

I would love to have a Dr. Kevorkian with me to ease the way. What the world needs are more Dr. Kevorkians! I wish people would allow some flexibility in their thoughts and actions. I am considering being filmed at the end; it would be far more graphic than a letter. -- HELEN BULL, MADISON, WIS.

DEAR KRISTIN AND DEAR READERS: The latest acquittal of Dr. Jack Kevorkian by a jury in Michigan, coupled with a recent decision of the U.S. Court of Appeals, which held that the laws against assisting a suicide are unconstitutional, focuses attention on the issue of how a terminally ill patient can request and receive physician aid-in-dying rather than accepting home care or hospice.

The Hemlock Society USA advocates legalization of physician aid-in-dying for competent, terminally ill patients should they choose this method of ending their lives. In order to further patients' rights in this area, the Hemlock Society USA is working for the enactment of laws in each state that clearly and succinctly set forth the guidelines for voluntary aid-in-dying.

For more information and to receive two helpful booklets, "Patients' Rights and Resources" and "A Letter to My Physician," as well as membership information, please write to: The Hemlock Society, P.O. Box 101810, Denver, Colo. 80250.

DEAR ABBY: I am a steady reader of your column, which I really enjoy, but I am puzzled by one thing. A lot of letters start with: "Recently I read in your column," etc., or you will say, "Yesterday I published a letter from 'The Grandparents,'" etc. Well, not in my newspaper you didn't.

Abby, does each paper sort of do its own thing with your column or what? I read you in The Asheville Citizen-Times in North Carolina. Thank you for answering this. -- CHRISTEL FRITZCHING, LITTLE SWITZERLAND, N.C.

DEAR CHRISTEL FRITZCHING: Yes, each newspaper sort of "does its own thing." If a paper is short of space, it may drop a letter, then run it at a later date when space is available.

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)