DEAR ABBY: I enjoyed the poem I'm sending you so much that I hope you will share it with your readers. -- SCHOOLTEACHER
DEAR SCHOOLTEACHER: I'm sure many of them will enjoy it. It reads like the lyrics to a rap song:
Hey, whatcha doing? Whaddaya say?
Do ya wanna read a good poem today?
Hey, gotta sec? C'mon! Let's see!
Our language is changing, you'll hafta agree.
Well, gimme a minute, and lemme just show:
There's a new coined spelling, doncha know?
It's a heckuva note; it's kinda sad,
'Cuz our sloppy talking has gotten this bad.
If you're like me, and you hate there to be
Words like ain't in our vocabulary;
Don't be surprised if we're soon gonna see
Sorta or coulda in the dictionary.
Yeah, merchants and stores are doing it, too;
Making things EZ and quik for you.
They'll offer mor-valu; we can sav-rite tonite;
But the spelling's not kool; it's outtasite!
It's "lots of" (not lotsa), and "going to" (not gonna),
And "got to" and "want to," (not gotta or wanna);
It's "extra" (not x-tra), and "light" (not lite).
And who sez it's OK to use shur or nite?
Comic book lingo; doesn't it getcha?
Annoy? Perplex? Confuse? You betcha!
A whole lotta words like thru and tho;
So why do we all do it?
-- GEORGE WILLINK, 1995