DEAR ABBY: After two divorces, I thought I had had my fill of marriage -- little did I know.

At a New Year's Eve party, I met Edna, a beautiful widow. She had three children, ages 4, 8 and 12.

When I started dating her, all my friends screamed, "Jim, are you out of your mind? She has three kids!"

Well, love is not only blind, it's also deaf. So, to make a long story short, I asked her to marry me and she replied, "Is tomorrow too soon?"

Edna and I had 40 years of wedded bliss when the good Lord took her to heaven.

I just celebrated my 87th birthday, am in excellent health and live in a beautiful retirement home in Florida. My children and grandchildren overwhelm me with long-distance telephone calls, letters and gifts. I don't want to bore you, but the point of this letter is: Just because a man has two strikes against him doesn't mean he's out. -- JIMMY WOODWARD

DEAR JIMMY: Thanks for a letter that may inspire others to realize that with a little bit of luck and the willingness to try, they can be winners, too.

DEAR ABBY: Your comment on "Larry King Live" recently was very disturbing. When someone called in and asked you if sex on the first date was OK, you replied, "Why not?" -- BETTY BOZARD, GREENWOOD, S.C.

DEAR BETTY: Thank you for writing. I understood the question to be: "Is a KISS on the first date OK?"

Never would I approve of sex on the first date, or the second or even the third date.

DEAR ABBY: I have enjoyed your column for many years -- your wisdom has helped me a great deal. I would like to share an article that was read to us parents at a recent Fitchburg State College football banquet by one of the trainers. -- A CONCERNED PARENT, BOSTON

DEAR PARENT: Thanks for sharing a perceptive essay from which we can all benefit:

BE CAREFUL

Be careful of your thoughts

For your thoughts become your words.

Be careful of your words

For your words become your actions.

Be careful of your actions

For your actions become your habits.

Be careful of your habits

For your habits become your character.

Be careful of your character

For your character becomes your destiny.

-- AUTHOR UNKNOWN

DEAR READERS: A truism: "An optimist is the kind of person who believes that a housefly is looking for a way to get out." -- GEORGE JEAN NATHAN

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: Bless you! Your column highlighting the "Souper Bowl" helped generate more than $1.2 million for hungry and hurting people around the country -- and calls are still coming in.

More than 4,000 churches, synagogues, schools and businesses welcomed $1 donations, sent the funds directly to a soup kitchen, food bank or other helping agency, and then phoned 1-800-358-SOUP on Super Bowl Sunday to report their totals.

In 1990, 22 congregations participated in the first Souper Bowl. The explosive growth since then illustrates both the power of working in partnership with others and the exciting results of "loving God and loving our neighbors" in even the simplest ways. We hope more folks will call 1-800-358-SOUP to join in next year's effort.

Abby, again, thank you for your partnership. -- THE REV. BRAD SMITH, SOUPER BOWL COORDINATOR, COLUMBIA, S.C.

DEAR MR. SMITH: It was a pleasure to inform my readers of such a worthwhile effort. The numbers are impressive. Your effort beautifully illustrates the power of working together.

DEAR ABBY: After reading the letter titled "The 10 Worst Things to Say to an Infertile Couple," I have a message for the woman who couldn't conceive a child. She said: "Every time the results come up negative, my sister-in-law says she goes through the same grieving as someone who had lost a child."

Never, never make that remark to anyone who has lost a child. It is an insult to those grieving parents who know what it is to lose a child.

The woman who couldn't get pregnant has no idea what it is like to lose a child in death, and she is doing a very poor job of imagining. Her comparison belittles our grief and our loss, and infuriates those of us who have experienced that tragedy. -- BEREAVED IN FAIRFIELD, OHIO

DEAR BEREAVED: Anyone who reads this will verify that losing a child in death is the most heartbreaking experience a parent must endure.

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR READERS: A Happy St. Patrick's Day to all you proud Irishmen and Irish women -- and Irish children, too.

I confess I didn't know very much about Saint Patrick, after whom this special day is named, so I did a little research and came up with some interesting and rather astonishing facts.

St. Patrick was not Irish -- he was a Roman, and his name was Patricious Magonus. (His father was Calpurnius, a tax collector, and his mother was English.) The family lived in Britain in the fifth century.

Their district was raided by pirates when Patricious was 16, and he was part of a group taken to Ireland and sold into slavery. He spent the next six years working as a swineherd, praying for freedom, and finally escaped.

During his captivity, he had developed a love of Ireland and its people. He went on to become a priest, then a bishop, and returned to do missionary work there. He is credited with converting the Irish from paganism to Christianity. According to legend, Patrick drove the snakes of Ireland into the sea, and used a green shamrock to explain the Trinity (Father, Son and Holy Ghost) to the Irish.

Centuries later, the first St. Patrick's Day celebration in the United States was held in 1737 in Boston, which had the largest Irish population in the United States.

Today, more than 100 cities across the nation celebrate St. Patrick's Day with parades, songfests, food and drink. The Chicago River in Chicago is dyed green by Midwestern leprechauns.

Irish-Americans celebrate St. Patrick's Day by wearing shamrocks, or something else green. I have a large green shamrock-shaped pin on which is printed "KISS ME -- I'M IRISH," because, as the saying goes, "On St. Patrick's Day, EVERYONE is a little bit Irish."

DEAR ABBY: I'm writing about the lady who's on AFDC, who has noticed that "many jobs require people to speak Spanish," and who cannot find a job.

My question is: What is she doing with her 40 hours a week now, to make her more employable in the workplace tomorrow? Is she learning Spanish? Is she honing her grammar-spelling-typing-math skills? While she's playing bingo, is she getting to know people there who might have children in business who are currently hiring? Is she revisiting the places where she applied for work so they can get to know her and know that she's still available? Or, in between job interviews, is she sitting around watching TV?

Fresno has a wonderful library system where, for free, she can check out books and tapes on just about every subject. I've seen language tapes in thrift stores for 50 cents and textbooks for a quarter. California has an excellent community college system, with special programs for poverty-level people.

My question for any welfare recipient is, "What steps are you taking to get off welfare?" -- ONE WHO LEARNED TO BE A GO-GETTER, SUSANVILLE, CALIF.

DEAR GO-GETTER: A good question. Thank you for a letter that could be a lifeline to those struggling to get out of the unemployment pool.

I have been informed that most community colleges have programs similar to those in California.

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)