DEAR ABBY: Please don't steer any more business to those bleepity-bleepin' lawyers. The lady whose dog got multiple bee stings should have had her dog fenced in -- or on a leash. He was obviously in bee territory -- not vice versa. -- TREVA ANDREA, POQUOSON, VA.

DEAR TREVA: Since that letter appeared in my column, I learned more about bees than I bargained for. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: Did that woman get the license number of that bee? Or did she read its identification tag on its collar?

Bees are either directly or indirectly responsible for the pollination of two-thirds of all the food we eat. Alfalfa and many grains that feed our livestock are immensely dependent on bee pollination. The bee-keeping industry is already suffering from below-profit honey prices and the overuse of pesticides. In the next few years, the Africanized (killer) bees will reach our temperate climate, causing even greater mass hysteria among our citizens. -- OLIVER D. FRANK, SAN MATEO, CALIF.

DEAR ABBY: I can sympathize with the reader whose puppy was stung. It happened to our puppy a second time, and I thought she would die! She's 9 years old now and has learned not to snap at anything that buzzes.

Did that woman see the insect that stung her dog? Was it a wasp, bumblebee, hornet or yellow jacket? And if she could identify the insect as a honeybee, can she prove it came from the hive next door? -- JEAN MEAD, WINFIELD, W.VA.

DEAR ABBY: You were right about one thing -- the honeybee stings only once and dies. Proving that the bee came from the neighbor's beehive is another thing. There are more wild bees in tree hollows and people's backyards than there are in all the commercial or controlled hives put together. -- CARL E. LOWMAN, COLUMBIA, S.C.

DEAR ABBY: In case you have forgotten, back in April 1988 you ran the following in your column:

DEAR ABBY: If you're not too tired of the bee issue, here's a little poem for you:

"The sex of a bee is hard to see

"But he can tell, and so can she.

"The queen is quite a busy soul

"She has no time for birth control.

"And that is why, in times like these,

"There are so many sons of bees." -- (Submitted, but not originated, by) JIM HARVEL, ARIZONA BEEKEEPER

P.S. Abby, this poem has been around for a long time, but I doubt if it has a title.

DEAR JIM: Let's call it "To Bee or Not to Bee."

DEAR READERS: Words to live by (I quote New York Times columnist A.M. Rosenthal, Oct. 8, 1991): "Silence is a lie. Silence has a loud voice. It shouts, 'Nothing important is happening -- don't worry.' So, when something important IS going on, silence is a lie."

(Everything you'll need to know about planning a wedding can be found in Abby's booklet, "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." To order, send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)

Poison control told us that the fluoride in the toothpaste was a toxic substance -- at least when more than three ounces were consumed at one time by a 33-pound child. They advised us to give her syrup of ipecac (which we fortunately had in our locked medicine cabinet) to induce vomiting. They also told us that the vomiting would probably continue for several hours, along with diarrhea.

It was a long, upsetting night for all of us, but thanks to our friend and the doctors at the poison control center, our daughter is fine today.

Abby, please warn all parents that because a product does not have a warning label does not mean that it is safe for unsupervised use by children. Many household products are often left unlocked in bathroom cabinets and drawers, on counters, under sinks, often by the same unsuspecting parents who carefully lock up their medicines and cleaning supplies.

Please be more careful than I was. And if you don't have syrup of ipecac, purchase some today and post the number of your closest poison control center next to your telephone. -- A WISER MOM IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR WISER MOM: Thank you for your helpful reminder to other parents. Phone numbers for your police department, fire department, poison control center and doctors should be clearly posted near every phone, especially in homes in which there are children. Ideally, children should be under constant supervision. But in reality, nobody can watch children 100 percent of the time.

DEAR ABBY: I am 5 foot 2 inches and weigh 90 pounds. I try very hard to gain weight, but my doctor tells me that I have an overactive metabolism, and that it will work itself out someday. I try to accept that and do whatever I can to stay healthy and gain weight.

What really bothers me is being called "skinny." People say mean things like, "Every time I see you, you look skinnier and skinnier," or they'll grab my arm, measure it with their fingers, and say, "Gee, your arms are skinny -- you must eat like a bird." I could never imagine someone saying to an overweight person, "Every time I see you, you look fatter and fatter!"

Abby, the reason I am writing is to make people aware that it hurts a thin person to be called "skinny" as much as it hurts an overweight person to be called "fat." Also, it's just as hard for a thin person to gain weight as it is for an overweight person to lose weight. I wish people could start using words like "thin, slim, slender or petite," instead of "skinny, bony or scrawny." -- SICK OF BEING CALLED SKINNY

DEAR SICK: Although most offenders are probably more thoughtless than intentionally mean-spirited, your message deserves to be heard.

Abby's family recipes are included in her cookbooklet. Send a long, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Cookbooklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: Twelve years ago, I received a personal letter from you in response to my frantic plea asking how to handle my alcoholic husband. You became my special friend. When my mother died, you called me at home. I will never forget that. Now I want to give something back; it's some advice to your readers from my own experience.

In a recent column, a John C. Seaman, referring to his personal experience with alcohol and drug abuse, said, "I recommend intervention to anyone who is frustrated by another person's drinking or using. You don't have to wait for someone to 'hit bottom,' which could ultimately be death." Those words hit close to home!

My husband's alcoholism ultimately led, although indirectly, to his death. For 12 years I tried to help him, and finally we agreed that he should enter an alcohol and drug abuse program in an area hospital. Six weeks after his release, he resumed drinking. I tried "tough love" and moved him out of our house, saying he could return when he got back on the program and quit drinking.

Well, he wasn't strong enough to quit drinking, nor was he strong enough to fight off the killer who knifed him to death in his motel apartment. It happened in the early hours of April 10, 1991. A drug-crazed man forced his way into my husband's apartment and stabbed him 14 times, then stuffed him into a closet!

Now I have to live with the fact that I let him down. I failed him. It is too late for intervention. So, Abby, please tell your readers to keep trying! Keep trying to rehabilitate your alcoholic or user. Where there is life, there is, at least, hope.

After death, you will want them back so badly, drunk or high, but alive! I, too, recommend intervention along with Mr. Seaman, not out of professional knowledge -- but from harsh life experience.

Call a treatment center, as he suggests. Please do not give up!

Kindest regards to you, Abby, and love to all of your readers. You may print my name. -- DIANE SMITH

DEAR DIANE: Please accept my condolences on the tragic death of your husband. For those readers who may have missed it, the 24-hour helpline of the McDonald Center for Alcoholism and Drug Addiction Treatment at Scripps Memorial Hospital in La Jolla, Calif., is: 1 (619) 458-4357. That call could be a lifesaver.

DEAR ABBY: Our son, who is 21 years old, is basically a fine person and he is usually very reasonable. He has a new girlfriend and she has been "sleeping over." Our son lives in our garage, which we have fixed up comfortably. He needed his privacy, and we needed peace and quiet. He feels that since he is in a separate area, it is OK to have his girlfriend sleep over, even though it goes against our values.

We have set certain rules for him and feel that as long as he is living in our house, he should discontinue this sleeping arrangement. He has always abided by our rules, but thinks we are off base on this.

What do you think? -- LOVER BOY'S MOM

DEAR MOM: I think as long as your son is living in your house, he should abide by your rules.

To get Abby's booklet "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)