DEAR ABBY: I never thought I would be writing to you. My wife, "Annie," does not care for my family, so we spend every holiday with her family. She says my family lives "too far away" to visit, although hers lives only a few miles closer.
Annie and I are happy together, but shutting out my family completely is starting to bother me. I think of them on holidays and their birthdays and would like to share these times with them. I try to discuss this with Annie, but she always says, "We'll talk about it another time" -- then she always initiates sex. (I just realized this.) It does take my mind off the discussion for the time being.
Have you had letters from anyone else who neglected his family because of his spouse and later regretted it? -- "SAM" IN PITTSBURGH
DEAR SAM: Yes, I have heard from many readers who deeply regretted not spending more time with their families while they were able to. (Especially parents.)
A large part of a loving marriage is compromise, which may mean spending time with people because they are important to one's spouse. The next time you discuss this with Annie, point this out, take a cold shower and keep talking.