DEAR ABBY: In Richland, Wash., men and women are carrying signs and parading small children in front of family-planning clinics in opposition to a woman's right to choose.

Meanwhile, a newborn baby boy was dumped in an apartment complex trash bin and left to die. He was found, hospitalized and survived. The baby, his 17-year-old mother and another son, a 1 1/2-year-old, have been placed in separate King County foster-care families.

Abby, please print the letter signed "Hates Hypocrites" again. In light of the abovementioned incident -- which is occurring all over the nation -- that letter needs to be seen again. -- BARBARA HARROW, RICHLAND, WASH.

DEAR BARBARA: Indeed I will. And here it is:

DEAR ABBY: This is a message to those men and women who try to prevent women from entering abortion clinics and carry big signs that say, "They Kill Babies Here!"

Have you signed up to adopt a child? If not, why not? Is it because you don't want one, can't afford one, or don't have the time, patience or desire to raise a child?

What if a woman who was about to enter a family-planning clinic saw your sign, then decided not to have an abortion but chose instead to give her baby to you? Would you accept it? What if the mother belonged to a minority group -- or was addicted to drugs, or tested positive for AIDS?

Why are you spending your time carrying a sign? Why aren't you volunteering to baby-sit a child born to a single mother so she can work? Why haven't you opened your door to a pregnant teen-ager whose parents have kicked her out when she took your advice and decided not to have an abortion?

As for the taxpayers who resent paying for abortions, who do you think pays for foster care, welfare, social workers and juvenile delinquency? The taxpayers.

Let's talk about something money can't buy: love. Have you ever visited a home for abused and unwanted children? Have you ever been to juvenile hall and seen the children who have committed crimes because they were born to mothers who didn't want them?

I'm not thrilled about abortion, but I don't think anyone has the right to tell others not to have one unless he or she has done the things I have mentioned above.

So, to those carrying those signs and trying to prevent women from entering family planning clinics, heed my message: If you must be against abortion, don't be a hypocrite -- make your time and energy count. -- HATES HYPOCRITES IN SANTA ANA, CALIF.

DEAR HATES: I couldn't have said it better. Or as well.

DEAR ABBY: To the Caucasian couple with the adopted Korean child: I, too, have been confronted by many unthinking strangers with rude comments. My most memorable occurred while grocery shopping with my blond-haired, blue-eyed biological son and my dark-haired, dark-complexioned adopted daughter.

A woman approached me and asked, "Are these your children?"

"Yes," I answered.

"Different fathers?" she asked.

"Yes, and different mothers, too," I replied.

"Oh," she said, looking confused. "With people sleeping around so much these days, I just thought --" I didn't let her finish. I just walked away and left her with her big mouth hanging open. -- C.M. IN APPLE VALLEY, MINN.

Hot off the press -- Abby's new booklet, "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)

DEAR READERS: The letter from the woman who felt a lump in her breast but was afraid to go to the doctor prompted a deluge of mail. Some typical letters:

DEAR ABBY: I lost my mother and three sisters to cancer, so I can sympathize with "Scared to Death," who felt a lump in her breast and was afraid to get a mammogram.

I join you, Abby, in urging all women -- even those without lumps -- to get mammograms regularly. They can save your life. Please tell your readers that any woman can get breast cancer whether it's in her family or not; 80 percent of the women who get breast cancer do NOT have it in their family.

A mammogram can detect breast cancer two years before a woman or her doctor can feel a lump. All women should have regular mammograms beginning at age 40 -- particularly women of color because they are more likely to die because they didn't catch it early enough.

I urge all my sisters, black or white, to educate themselves about this scary but treatable disease. For more information, your readers can dial 1-800-4-CANCER. -- PATTI LABELLE

DEAR ABBY: In 1977, when I discovered a lump in my breast, I was terrified! Nevertheless, I made an appointment to see my doctor, and a week after my "positive" biopsy, I had a modified radical mastectomy. I was devastated and depressed.

The third day after my surgery, a lovely, cheerful lady showed up in my hospital room and asked me if I had ever heard of "Reach to Recovery." I told her I had not. Then she went on to explain that my surgeon had contacted the American Cancer Society and requested that a volunteer from that organization pay me a visit.

This encouraging woman told me that she, too, had had a mastectomy. She gave me some exercises to do, and also gave me a "rest bra" and a temporary prosthesis. But the best thing she gave me was hope and assurance that I was still the same woman I had been before the surgery.

Since that time, I have become a volunteer in the Reach to Recovery program and have enjoyed the rewards of helping many other women who were as heartbroken and depressed as I had been before Reach to Recovery reached out to me. -- BARBARA J. MYHRE, BANDERA, TEXAS

DEAR ABBY: Like "Scared to Death," I felt a lump in my breast. Unlike her, I immediately saw my doctor. Even though it was cancer, I was one of the lucky ones because I sought early diagnosis and treatment and I am alive today to talk about it.

"Scared to Death" is afraid of how her husband would feel about her following a mastectomy. I had the same fears, but throughout my ordeal, my husband was my biggest supporter and my best friend. If anything, the situation brought us closer together. He says he loves me for me, not for my body parts.

I am thankful to have made it and I would love to tell the world that I am extremely proud of my supportive husband. If you use my letter, feel free to use my real name. -- JAN NICHOLS, CARLETON, MICH.

DEAR ABBY: I had just returned home from a routine mammogram when I read the letter from "Scared to Death." I watched my own mother's painful battle with breast cancer (both breasts). However, she won that battle and came away with a beautiful reconstruction job. Now she jokes about having firm breasts in her 60s! Two of my aunts and my grandmother had mastectomies, and none of their husbands left them. In fact, they outlived their husbands! -- A SURVIVOR IN COLORADO

To get Abby's booklet, "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: A couple of mothers in my neighborhood and I teach home preschool for our 2- and 3-year-olds. This month we are talking about conservation. Though these children don't understand all about conservation and ecology, they at least understand the concept that each person can and should do his part to keep our world beautiful and safe.

We would like to do our part by separating our trash into containers labeled "paper," "glass," "aluminum" and "everything else." However, I am confused as to what constitutes recyclable paper products.

Would used paper towels be acceptable or not? What about cardboard boxes -- such as cereal boxes, doughnut boxes, etc.?

Please advise me on any steps I need to take before taking things to the recycling plant. Thank you. -- MAREN IN MESA

DEAR MAREN: Check the Yellow Pages of your telephone directory under "Recycling," "Scrap" or "Solid Waste." You might also contact your local solid waste management office, which is usually a part of the Department of Public Works. Someone there can help you identify local recycling groups, other area schools and groups with recycling programs, local environmental groups, and companies that accept recyclables and process or sell them to reclaimers.

This research will help you find out which materials are being recycled presently in your area, as well as those recycling handlers and processors who could accept the materials you collect.

For further information on recycling, contact the Council for Solid Waste Solutions, 1275 K St. N.W., Suite 400, Washington, D.C. 20005.

Teachers or school administrators who wish to order a free copy of the Council for Solid Waste Solutions manual, "How to Set Up a School Recycling Program," or the "Resource Revolution" video, should call 1-(800)-243-5790.

DEAR ABBY: I used to think mother-in-law jokes were funny. Not any more. I realize that there must be some good mothers-in-law, but I wasn't lucky enough to get one.

My husband's mother refuses to accept that she cannot run my life, and my husband refuses to tell her to quit trying. He says if I have any complaints about his mother, I should tell her -- not him.

He spends a lot of time with his parents, and he does whatever his mother tells him to do. How can I handle this without causing a lot of problems? -- MAD IN MADISON

DEAR MAD: Take your husband's advice. If your mother-in-law tries to tell you what to do, tell her, woman-to-woman, that you are quite capable of making your own decisions. When you involve your husband, you are asking him to fight your battles in opposition to his mother. Not a very good idea. You need a course in assertiveness. (Yes, such courses are available. Check with your local college.)

Another suggestion to improve your marriage: See your clergyperson or a marriage counselor. If your husband refuses to join you for counseling, go alone.

Want your phone to ring? Get Abby's booklet, "How to Be Popular" -- for people of all ages. To order, send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.