DEAR ABBY: It is time to remind your readers that if they wish to display the American flag, it must be done with respect.

The war is over, but many of the hastily displayed flags (by, I'll call them, born-again patriots) are still outside 24 hours a day, all tangled up, wrapped around roof gutters and downspouts, being torn to shreds in the wind and rain. You don't have to be a former Boy Scout or be knowledgeable of the flag code passed by Congress in 1942 to understand respect.

The American flag is to be displayed out of doors from sunrise to sunset "in good weather." The flag is displayed at night for special occasions, and preferably spotlighted for honor and respect. To me, it seems disrespectful to see flags that were hastily mounted in all manner of ways -- even stapled to old mop handles -- still out there and forgotten.

Improvised display of Old Glory might be dramatic and acceptable on the emotion-filled battlefield, but not on permanent homes and businesses. Abby, can you check out the protocol for displaying the American flag? -- NOT A FLAG- WAVER, BUT I LOVE OLD GLORY

DEAR NOT: The 27th edition of the American Legion Officer's Guide (Revised, July 1989), states: "It is the universal custom to display the flag only from sunrise to sunset on buildings and stationary flagstaffs in the open. However, when a patriotic effect is desired, the flag may be displayed 24 hours a day if properly illuminated during the hours of darkness.

"The flag should not be displayed on days when the weather is inclement, except when an all-weather flag is displayed.

"The flag should never touch anything beneath it, such as the ground, the floor, water or merchandise.

"The flag should never be fastened, displayed, used or stored in such a manner as to permit it to be easily soiled, torn or damaged in any way.

"The flag, when it is in such condition that it is no longer a fitting emblem for display, should be destroyed in a dignified way -- preferably by burning."

DEAR ABBY: I went to the doctor the other day, and after he examined me, he said I needed a hysterectomy. Abby, I am an unmarried 28-year-old woman, and this is a major decision.

I went home and told my family. My mother didn't express an opinion one way or the other. My father told me to do what I thought was best. My aunt said I shouldn't have it done because I will gain a lot of weight afterward. I talked to two of my best friends, and they both said I shouldn't do it.

Now I don't know what to do. I want to do what's best for me, but I also want to keep my family and friends happy. What should I do? -- MAJOR PROBLEM

DEAR PROBLEM: Keeping your family and friends happy should be your last consideration in making this decision.

Stop asking friends and family for their opinions -- they mean well, but they are not qualified to advise you. See another gynecologist for a second opinion, and if the second opinion isn't the same as the first, get a third opinion.

If you're not acquainted with the gynecologists in your area, call your county medical association. I wish you well.

Most teen-agers do not know the facts about drugs, AIDS and how to prevent unwanted pregnancy. It's all in Abby's updated, expanded booklet, "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: You recently said that older people should not be ashamed to ask their doctors questions about medications prescribed for them. They should know how much to take, how often to use it, what the side effects are, etc.

I wonder why the instructions that come with some medications are written in language that nobody can understand. For example, my doctor prescribed a nasal spray. The only thing I could understand was, "Shake well before using." Here is a sample of what else came with my medication and instructions:

"Beclomethasone 17, 21-dipropionate is a diester of beclomethasone, a synthetic halogenated corticosteroid. Animal studies show that beclomethasone dipropionate has potent glucocorticoid and weak mineralocorticoid activity.

"The effects of beclomethasone dipropionate on hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal (HPA) function have been evaluated in adult volunteers by other routes of administration. Studies with beclomethasone dipropionate by the intranasal route may demonstrate that there is more or that there is less absorption by this route of administration. There was no suppression of early morning plasma cortisol concentrations when beclomethasone dipropionate was administered in a dose of 1,000 mcg/day for one month as an oral aerosol or for three days by intramuscular injection."

Abby, there is much more that I cannot understand, but this should give you a general idea of what I mean. -- JOHN W. EGGERS, SAN DIEGO

DEAR MR. EGGERS: I know exactly what you mean. Such gobbledygook is intended to confuse a person not schooled in Latin.

Don't be embarrassed. Ask your doctor for instructions that you can understand. And if there are any questions in your mind -- ask for clarification.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 25-year-old woman who happens to have a very fair complexion. I do not tan very easily. My dermatologist just removed three precancerous growths from my arms and advised me to wear sunscreen when I plan to go out in the sun.

I get very irritated with people who tell me I would look a lot better if I got a little tan. Can you suggest a snappy comeback for these clods? -- SUN-SHY IN GEORGIA

DEAR SUN-SHY: Snappy comeback? You need no snappier comeback than the truth. Try this: "My dermatologist just removed three precancerous growths from my arms."

Then notice how quiet it gets ... followed by a, "Gee, I'm sorry. I didn't know" ... or words to that effect.

DEAR ABBY: Knowing that you are an animal lover, I am writing with the hope that this will reach many zoo visitors.

Recently, a monkey in our zoo died because she was fed something poisonous by a visitor. There are signs on all of our animal cages requesting "DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS," but some visitors pay no attention to them.

Abby, it is heartbreaking when, in spite of all our training and care, we cannot prevent a death because some well-meaning visitor ignores our "No Feeding" signs. Please print this as a reminder. -- SAD IN HAWAII

Dear Abby's Cookbooklet is a collection of favorite recipes -- all tested, tried and terrific! To order, send a long, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Cookbooklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: It's summer vacation time, and many high school graduates probably are still out looking for jobs. Two or three years ago, you published some good advice for young people on how to dress, how to act and what to say when applying for a job. I cut it out to save, and now I can't find it. I have a grandson I want to send it to. Please print it again. It could help me -- and a lot of young people. Thank you. -- DULUTH GRANDPARENT

DEAR GRANDPARENT: The advice to which you refer first appeared in William Raspberry's column. He quoted Karen Rak, a high school English teacher in Strongsville, Ohio, who composed a letter from an employer to let youthful job seekers see themselves as they are seen. I am pleased to print it again. It deserves as much exposure as it can get: "DEAR KID: Today you came to me for a job. From the look of your shoulders as you walked out, I suspect you've been turned down before, and maybe you believe by now that kids your age can't find jobs.

"But I hired a teen-ager today. You saw him. What was so special about him? Not experience; neither of you had any. Attitude, son. A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E. He did his best to impress me. That is where he edged you out.

"He wasn't dressed like Easter Sunday, but then that wasn't necessary. His clothes were clean, and he had gotten a haircut. He filled out the application form neatly and completely. He did not ask to borrow a pen. He carried his Social Security card, had basic identification and did not ask, 'What's a reference?'

"He didn't start to chew gum or smoke while being interviewed. He didn't keep looking at his watch, giving me the impression that he had something more important to do.

"He took the time to find out how we 'operate' here and what his day-to-day tasks would be. I think he'll keep his eyes open and work for me like he'd work for himself.

"He was willing to start at that point where I could afford to pay. Someday, perhaps, he'll get to the point where he'll have more authority over others and a better paycheck.

"You know, kid, men have always had to get a job like you get a girl: case the situation, wear a clean shirt and try to appear reasonably willing.

"Maybe jobs aren't as plentiful right now, but there are jobs. You may not believe it, but all around you employers are looking for young men and women smart enough to go after a job in the old-fashioned way.

"If you have even the vaguest idea of what I'm trying to say, let it show the next time you ask for a job. You will be head and shoulders above the rest.

"For both our sakes, get eager, will you? -- THE BOSS"

DEAR ABBY: I'm getting married this fall, and I am faced with a difficult question. I am having a large formal wedding, but I do not know who should walk me down the aisle. My father died when I was very young, and I am not really close to any other male family members.

Would it be appropriate for my mother to walk me down the aisle? If not, whom would you recommend? -- K.K. IN BOULDER, COLO.

DEAR K.K.: Of course your mother may walk you down the aisle. Or you might consider walking halfway down the aisle alone -- the groom could meet you in the middle, and together you could make the trek to the altar.

To get Abby's booklet "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)