DEAR ABBY: My husband's parents will soon be celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary. My husband has two brothers and two sisters. His sisters decided, without consulting us, that all the children would chip in and send their parents to Hawaii as their anniversary gift. They have already told their parents, who are thrilled about it.
The problem is, the sister whose idea it was is the only one who can afford such an expensive gift. The rest of us are barely making it from paycheck to paycheck.
My siblings and I bought our parents a set of dishes for their 50th. We would have loved to send them to Hawaii, but we knew they wouldn't enjoy it knowing we would have to take out a loan to pay for it.
I am more than a little resentful that my parents got dishes while my in-laws will get a trip to Hawaii. (My parents are no less deserving.)
I have polled my friends and co-workers from all levels of income, and they agree that a trip to Hawaii isn't a typical anniversary gift -- it is excessive. -- BURNED UP AND BROKE
DEAR BURNED UP: A trip to Hawaii is not an excessive anniversary gift for people who can afford it. However, one or two members of a family have no right to decide on any gift "from all the children" without having consulted all of them. And to have told the parents before discussing it with all the siblings was inexcusable.