DEAR ABBY: The letter from "No Money Machine" -- the parent who is cutting corners in order to send her son to the high school prom -- prompts this letter.

Abby, going to a senior prom is a privilege -- not a God-given right. I came from from a large family, and our education (12 years of Catholic school) was paid for by our parents, but we had to earn our own money for all the "perks" such as yearbooks, class rings and proms.

I have raised my son the same way. At 16, he's already had a semi-formal under his belt. He asked if he could have his Christmas gift of money in advance so he could pay $35 for tickets, $15 for a corsage and $10 for a secondhand tux.

If he wants to continue at the Catholic school he attends, he will have to get a summer job to help with the $1,300 tuition. His class ring will be bought with money he saves from his allowance.

Abby, as you've often said, "GIVE a man a fish and he can eat for a day. TEACH him to fish and he can eat forever."

The best gift some people can give their kids is a kick in the rear to the job market. -- NO MONEY MACHINE EITHER

DEAR NO MONEY MACHINE: You could teach a class in child development. Thanks for writing.

DEAR ABBY: Please set me straight. Is it considered poor manners to write a letter instead of having a face-to-face confrontation?

Recently, I decided to quit my job as baby sitter for a woman I'll call Mrs. Smith. She is very strong-minded and not a person I would care to debate, so to avoid being pressured to stay on with other arrangements, then kick myself afterward, I chose to write.

I dropped the letter in Mrs. Smith's mailbox. As soon as she read it, she telephoned to say that we would still be friends, but she thought it was extremely "ignorant and ill-mannered" of me to have written to her instead of speaking to her. Abby, some people are easier to write to than talk to.

What do you think? Was a letter a poor vehicle for my message? -- IN THE DARK

DEAR IN: I think you used excellent judgment. Your reasons for writing to Mrs. Smith instead of risking a face-to-face confrontation were valid.

DEAR ABBY: With so many children as well as some adults unable to read, and the warning on some labels printed so small that older people can't read them, perhaps we should resume the old skull and crossbones on all poisons.

Also, now that camping season has returned, parents should avoid dressing their children in camouflage-printed clothing for picnics or camp-outs. If children wander off, they would be much harder to locate.

Bright orange or yellow is the most visible color. Campers should keep that in mind. -- DULUTH, MINN.

DEAR DULUTH: And a whistle hung on an elastic cord around the neck isn't a bad idea for campers. But make sure the elastic cord can't strangle the wearer should it get caught on some object.

People are eating them up! For Abby's favorite recipes, send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Cookbooklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: My daughter, "Amy," is having a terrible time because although she is a beautiful girl, she's short. At 17, she's only 5 foot 1 inch, and she feels as though she is being left out of the modeling world because the agencies will not hire girls her size. She feels less than beautiful, and it is hurting her self-esteem.

Do you know of any modeling agency that will take a girl of Amy's petite size? -- AMY'S CONCERNED MOTHER

DEAR MOTHER: Your daughter needs to know that beauty comes in all sizes, and there are careers other than modeling.

I spoke to Nina Blanchard, owner of one of the top modeling agencies in the country, and she agrees with Amy; there is no market in modeling for a girl who is 5 foot 1 inch. (Even "petite" models are 5 foot 4 to 5 foot 6.)

Blanchard said: "Tell Amy to dry her tears and learn to act because there is no height requirement in acting or commercials. And the rewards are just as good and sometimes better."

DEAR ABBY: Two years ago, my boyfriend beat me up. He said he was sorry, so I gave him another chance. The second time it happened, I made him move out. A week later, he came after me.

Fearing for my life, I ran outside, thinking I was safe with so many neighbors around. (I lived in a mobile home park.) I was wrong. Nobody helped me.

He started beating on me, and I ran from trailer to trailer with him chasing me as I screamed at the top of my lungs, "Somebody, please call the police!" He caught me, knocked me to the ground and beat me unconscious. It was a summer day and everyone had the windows open. I was screaming so loud, I could have been heard a block away.

Abby, I wasn't asking people to risk their lives. I just wanted someone to pick up a phone and call the police. One neighbor even closed his door because my screams disturbed him! When I confronted him later, he said, "I didn't want to get involved."

I still have nightmares about that terrible experience -- not the beating, but pleading for help while everyone looked the other way.

To make a long story short, I pressed charges against the man. He was put away for two years and ordered not to return to this community. -- ILLINOIS VICTIM

DEAR VICTIM: I would like to believe that people are basically good, but there is too much evidence to the contrary to accept that theory. What a sad commentary on the nature of mankind.

"Man's inhumanity to man

"Makes countless thousands mourn!"

-- Robert Burns, 1759-1796

What teen-agers need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with their peers and parents is now in Abby's updated, expanded booklet, "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: About 12 years ago, I gave a beautiful handmade quilt to my nephew and his wife as their wedding gift. I made it myself, and everyone who saw it said it was a work of art.

I did not deliver it myself. Another relative carried it to my nephew's home. I got a thank-you for the gift, but it was not said that the gift was a handmade quilt.

To make a long story short, a few months ago I was at this nephew's home and I saw the quilt hanging on a quilt stand in their bedroom. I asked who made the stand and my nephew's wife said, "My brother made the stand, and my grandmother made the quilt."

I asked, "Where is the one I gave you?" She said, "This is the only one we have."

Now, the grandmother has lived with that lie on her conscience all these years -- letting people believe that she made it when she knows perfectly well that I made it.

My advice to anyone who has a nice gift to give: Deliver it yourself! And, Abby, don't you think somebody owes me an apology? -- STILL HURT IN OHIO

DEAR STILL HURT: Good advice! But it wouldn't hurt to have enclosed a gift card with the quilt with a brief message: "Made with love from Aunt ( ) to ( )."

Since this is irritating you, why don't you set the record straight and tell your nephew and his wife that you made the quilt that was delivered to them by another relative, who took the credit for having made it?

DEAR ABBY: The copy of "Please God, I'm Only 17" appeared in today's Chicago Tribune, and its appearance was very timely. Just yesterday, I confiscated my 17-year-old son's driver's license after overhearing a conversation with a friend in which he boasted of doing 60 in a 45-mile zone on a small residential country road. (I didn't know yet how long I would keep it or what else I might have him do in order to make an impression.)

I decided upon the following course of action after reading your column. I clipped it and gave it to him with the following:

"Dear John: When you copy this little piece, 'Please God, I'm Only 17,' 25 times in your neatest writing and on good paper, and prominently display all 25 copies in your bedroom (nope, make an extra two copies, one for each car), you may have your license back. John, this is called tough love. Remember it. You may have to use it some day with one of your own children. I love you. Mom"

Thanks, Abby. -- TONI WEAVER, McHENRY, ILL.

By popular request, Abby shares more of her favorite prize-winning, easy-to-prepare recipes. To order, send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)