DEAR READERS: Most occupational and public office titles originated when only men performed these jobs. Today, women are involved in all occupations, making sex-labeled titles discriminatory.

Occupational titles should describe the job -- not the person doing the job. Some examples:

Forget "lady doctor" -- she is a doctor (who happens to be a woman).

No more "woman lawyer" -- she is a lawyer.

Forget "waitress" -- the correct form is waiter or server.

No more "meter maid" -- meter attendant is correct.

An "authoress" is simply an author.

A "housewife" is now properly called a homemaker.

Perhaps it won't surprise you that these updated terms come from "The Practical Guide to Non-Sexist Language," courtesy of the National Organization for Women in St. Louis, Mo.

While the titles "Miss" and "Mrs." originally were used to distinguish female children from adult women, the titles identify marital status: A "Mrs." is married, a "Miss" is not.

The dissatisfaction of many women with this labeling system led eventually to the use of "Ms." (The American Heritage Dictionary defines "Ms." as "a title of courtesy used before a woman's surname, without regard to her marital status.")

A woman's professional or academic title takes precedence over a social title: Chancellor Jane Roe, or Jane Roe, Ph.D., not Ms. Jane Roe.

And when writing a memorandum to one's office staff, it is correct to say, "Everyone is expected to do the (not his) job well."

Finally, as the guide notes, "Neither sex has a monopoly on jobs, with two exceptions: wet nurses and sperm donors."

DEAR ABBY: My 3-year-old grandson hits almost everyone he associates with, especially his father! His baby brother is now 4 months old, and "Big Brother" has become more abusive since the baby arrived.

My daughter and her husband do not hit him back; they try to reason with him, but they are afraid he will harm another child with a stick, etc., which he likes to have in his hands most of the time.

In my day, I would have sat him in a chair and delivered a firm lecture, and I would have forbidden any "weapons" for him to play with until the hitting stopped. But this advice does not seem to fit into "today's" upbringing.

I live 1,000 miles away from them, so I'm not around enough for my feelings (or any part of my body) to be hurt from my grandson's aggression. But I sure would appreciate a solution. Thank you. -- FLORIDA GRANDMA

DEAR FLORIDA GRANDMA: "Big Brother" is acting out his feelings of jealousy with regard to the new baby, which is only natural. But your daughter and son-in-law should take a lesson from you and nip the child's aggressive behavior before it gets out of control.

And if the aggression persists, the parents should consult a professional for guidance.

People are eating them up! For Abby's favorite recipes, send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Cookbooklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I am at the end of my rope. Actually, I am mad at myself because I just came home from another boring evening. I am a 74-year-old retired widower with time on my hands. I belong to a golf club where I hang out to kibitz with the card players.

A retired professional man about my age, also a widower, also kills time at the club. I felt sorry for him because he was always alone, so I started having lunch with him -- then he suggested we have dinner together (Dutch), so I said OK. Now I can't get rid of him.

He is the most boring person I've ever met. He talks about himself, his investments, his assets, his this, his that, and no matter how hard I try to get off his favorite subject (himself), he manages to get back on it.

I can't get rid of this obnoxious guy. He sticks like glue, and doesn't have one other friend at the club. Everybody avoids him because he is so egotistical and boring.

If you can solve this problem, Abby, you are a genius. For obvious reasons, I can't sign my name or location. Sign me ... TRAPPED

DEAR TRAPPED: You could do yourself and your boring friend an enormous favor if you sat him down and told him very frankly that he would not be so lonely if he made a few major changes in his personality.

Tell him that nobody wants to listen to a person who talks about nothing but himself and his assets. If he's all that well-heeled financially, he could benefit enormously from a few sessions with a psychologist. The truth may hurt, but it could also solve your problem.

DEAR ABBY: When my husband and I go to a restaurant, we are served such large portions that we either have to ask for a doggie bag to take home what we can't eat, or we leave it on our plates to be thrown out.

At times we have ordered only one meal and an extra plate so we can split the dinner. This isn't always convenient because we both don't always want to eat the same thing.

The few restaurants that offer "lighter fare" serve diet foods. Why can't these restaurant owners realize that all people don't eat like harvest hands? I sometimes wonder if they realize how much food is wasted.

How can we get the restaurant owners to offer only half-portions? I can't be the only person who hates to see food wasted. How about it, Abby? Any suggestions on how to get this problem corrected? -- NOT THAT HUNGRY IN ORLANDO

DEAR NOT THAT HUNGRY: If you are suggesting that restaurateurs offer half the food at half the price, please read on: Restaurant owners could not survive on half the profit. Better leave things the way they are and give their customers doggie bags to tote home their leftovers.

CONFIDENTIAL TO NO GAMBLER IN LAS VEGAS: When it comes to birth control, the only method that's 100 percent effective is self-control.

To get Abby's booklet "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: Now that you have come to the defense of school bus drivers who complained that, like Rodney Dangerfield, they get no respect, how about doing the same for substitute teachers, who also get no respect?

We are expected to maintain order and promote learning in a different classroom every day with different kids who are accustomed to different rules.

But the hardest part of our job is the abuse we have to take from some of the students.

Most kids figure that a substitute teacher is fair game, so they push us as far as they can to see how much they can get away with. If we get fed up with rotten behavior and send the troublemakers to the principal's office, we're considered incompetent because we can't control the kids.

When it comes to getting no respect, a substitute teacher takes first prize. -- MOVING TARGET

DEAR TARGET: Obviously, times haven't changed much in the last half-century. When a substitute teacher shows up, there will always be kids who will try to see how much they can get away with.

However, the most competent teachers -- and the ones we remember best -- are those who demand the best from their students and put up with no nonsense.

DEAR ABBY: I go to a small restaurant and order dinner for two. No drinks or dessert. The check is around $20 and the tip, $3.

The next time I visited the same restaurant, the dinner check was $30 (they had raised their prices), so why should the tip be more, just because I spent more on food? There was no more work involved. -- BRUCE IN TEWKSBURY, MASS.

DEAR BRUCE: Because the tip is usually figured as a percentage of the cost of the meal -- and the bigger the bill, the larger the tip.

DEAR ABBY: I come from a family of seven children -- three boys and four girls. Our parents value education highly and have encouraged all of us to go to college. Two are still in college, two have dropped out, and three have graduated.

Mom has one wall of our house for pictures of her "college graduates." She thinks it will encourage the other children to finish college and get "on the wall." Instead, it is causing division in the family, since the dropouts are busy working and raising children, and they're not likely to get "on the wall." Also, the sister who graduated from a two-year college doesn't qualify for "wall status."

This leaves me and my sister who are against being "honored" this way. Mom has insisted that we have our pictures taken professionally for the wall. What should we tell Mom? -- AGAINST THE WALL

DEAR AGAINST: Hand Mom this column, and you won't have to tell her anything.

By popular request, Abby shares more of her favorite prize-winning, easy-to-prepare recipes. To order, send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)