DEAR ABBY: Your recent column on litterbugs brought back a vivid memory that illustrates how expensive being a litterbug can be.

We live in a very nice neighborhood in Portland, Ore. We have a beautiful yard with many hedges and bushes. One day, a passing motorist tossed a disposable diaper from his car. As he flung it out the window, it caught on his gold watchband, sending the watch flying along with the diaper!

Of course, we picked up both pieces of litter, disposed of one, repaired the other, and my husband wore that beautiful gold watch for 12 years before he replaced it. That happened 20 years ago, and to this day I still don't mind picking up litter. You never know what you'll find! -- MARION IN OREGON

DEAR MARION: My, how time flies! (Sorry, I couldn't resist it.) And speaking of disposing of litter by tossing it out the car window, read on:

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I were driving down a country road when a car passed us and a person on the passenger side tossed a lighted cigarette out the window. The cigarette landed on the back of a pickup truck carrying a load of hay! A small fire started. The driver, who was directly in front of us, was unaware of the fire, so we sounded our horn and kept at it until we caught up with him and motioned for him to stop, which fortunately he was able to do.

I shudder to think what could have happened had his gas tank exploded. -- CLOSE CALL IN WISCONSIN

DEAR ABBY: A very dear friend from Los Angeles came to visit me in San Diego over her spring break. (She lives in L.A. with her parents.) Both of us are relatively young (22) and struggling for our financial independence. We had a great time during her stay here.

However, she did something that really bothered me, and I don't know how to handle it. She kept calling her boyfriend in Los Angeles -- at least twice a day -- and she also accepted collect calls from him without my knowledge or consent.

After one of his "collect" calls, I told her I was on a tight budget and couldn't afford a large phone bill, but she made another call as if I had said nothing to her.

Now I am reluctant to have her over any more due to the fact that she has no consideration for my feelings or my pocketbook.

When and how should I let her know how I feel about this? -- UNCERTAIN

DEAR UNCERTAIN: Send your "very dear friend" a copy of your telephone bill with her calls plainly encircled with a note: "I know you would want to pay for your calls."

And in the future, do not welcome anyone into your home who has no consideration for your feelings or your pocketbook.

Dear Abby's Cookbooklet is a collection of favorite recipes -- all tested, tried and terrific! To order, send a long, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Cookbooklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: As a teacher, I appreciate the way you often use your column to educate the public. I felt I had to respond to "Proud Parents of a Real Child," who struggle with insensitive questions about their daughter from Korea.

My husband and I are the proud parents of three children from Korea. (We are both Caucasian.) Our two older children happen to be birth siblings. They arrived together at the ages of 7 and 11, when our youngest son was 3. Although unkind comments have been extremely rare, this question is often heard: "Are your older children 'real' brother and sister?" The question it makes me want to ask is, "Why is that important to you?"

Many families are formed by birth; ours was formed by adoption. From the moment we accepted our children as ours, we became their real parents and they became real brothers and sisters. Adoption is the basis for that reality, not blood ties. I think I speak for many other adoptive parents. Maybe you can think of a better way to say it. How can we effectively communicate this simple, but important, message to well-meaning people who do not understand what it means to be a ... "REAL" ADOPTIVE PARENT

DEAR "REAL": You said it as well as it can be said. And to the question, "Are your two older children 'real' brother and sister?" -- "Why is it important to you?" is the perfect response.

DEAR ABBY: What's all the fuss about teen-agers keeping their rooms clean? I'm 50 now, but when I was a kid, my best friend Joe and his brother John shared a bedroom. Abby, that room was a disaster! You couldn't even find their beds. Their mother insisted on only one thing: They keep their door closed!

Today, 35 years later, Joe is a highly successful businessman (his income is more than $1 million a year), and his brother is also earning big bucks as a research scientist.

I believe all these strict rules and regulations are ridiculous when they dominate one's life to the point of stifling one's creativity. -- PHOOEY ON CLEAN ROOMS

DEAR PHOOEY: The job of a parent is to be a consistent and loving teacher of those lessons their children need in order to survive and thrive. There are just so many things a parent can nag the kids about before they are either resented or tuned out. So the heavy artillery should be saved for the important battles.

However, let's define our terms. There is a big difference between neatness and cleanliness. Neatness involves tidiness and orderliness. Cleanliness involves sanitation and hygiene. Cleanliness and sanitation are not ridiculous, nor do they stifle creativity.

Want your phone to ring? Get Abby's booklet, "How to Be Popular" -- for people of all ages. To order, send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 28-year-old, reasonably attractive woman. I dress stylishly and wear subtle makeup. I am very nearsighted and wear glasses because I can't tolerate hard or soft contact lenses. (Believe me, I have tried.)

Abby, it infuriates me when men (whether they are dates or not), casual acquaintances or co-workers think I should feel complimented when they say, "You'd be much prettier without your glasses."

I am sometimes tempted to say, "And you'd be even more handsome with a little more hair on your head -- or less padding around your middle." Or, "You'd be a much nicer person if you had better manners!"

Abby, please tell these oafs to look in a mirror before they start giving women fashion advice. Thanks. -- FOUR EYES AND WELL-ADJUSTED

DEAR WELL-ADJUSTED: Resist that old saw, "The best defense is a good offense."

Heed the wise words of author Letty Cottin Pogrebin: "Men who never make passes at women with glasses are asses."

Also consider the advantage for those who wear glasses: In a romantic situation, when the glasses are removed, it's a clear signal that someone is going to get kissed!

DEAR ABBY: Until late last fall, I was a registered voter in Clackamas County, Oregon. After you urged people to vote, I decided to re-register after changing my address to the local jail where I am being held pending trial, since address changes need to be recorded per Oregon law.

The response I received was a note attached to a photocopy that stated, "I am unable to process your registration until you have completed your sentence." It was attached to a copy of a citation of Oregon law that, in effect, stated that a person with a felony conviction loses the right to vote during the term of imprisonment.

As "Illinois Voter" stated (in your column), "If each community made it easier to vote, more people would vote."

It took letters to the Elections Division, assistant county attorney and Clackamas County Clerk, as well as secretary of state and then-Gov.-Elect Barbara Roberts -- but I continue to be a registered voter as of Dec. 17, 1991, as the laws of the state and the nation provide.

Civil rights for all! What do you say, Abby? -- NO. 90-2310

DEAR "90": Convicted felons are denied the right to vote, but one is presumed innocent until proven guilty.

By popular request, Abby shares more of her favorite prize-winning, easy-to-prepare recipes. To order, send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054 (Postage is included.)