DEAR ABBY: As a teacher, I appreciate the way you often use your column to educate the public. I felt I had to respond to "Proud Parents of a Real Child," who struggle with insensitive questions about their daughter from Korea.

My husband and I are the proud parents of three children from Korea. (We are both Caucasian.) Our two older children happen to be birth siblings. They arrived together at the ages of 7 and 11, when our youngest son was 3. Although unkind comments have been extremely rare, this question is often heard: "Are your older children 'real' brother and sister?" The question it makes me want to ask is, "Why is that important to you?"

Many families are formed by birth; ours was formed by adoption. From the moment we accepted our children as ours, we became their real parents and they became real brothers and sisters. Adoption is the basis for that reality, not blood ties. I think I speak for many other adoptive parents. Maybe you can think of a better way to say it. How can we effectively communicate this simple, but important, message to well-meaning people who do not understand what it means to be a ... "REAL" ADOPTIVE PARENT

DEAR "REAL": You said it as well as it can be said. And to the question, "Are your two older children 'real' brother and sister?" -- "Why is it important to you?" is the perfect response.

DEAR ABBY: What's all the fuss about teen-agers keeping their rooms clean? I'm 50 now, but when I was a kid, my best friend Joe and his brother John shared a bedroom. Abby, that room was a disaster! You couldn't even find their beds. Their mother insisted on only one thing: They keep their door closed!

Today, 35 years later, Joe is a highly successful businessman (his income is more than $1 million a year), and his brother is also earning big bucks as a research scientist.

I believe all these strict rules and regulations are ridiculous when they dominate one's life to the point of stifling one's creativity. -- PHOOEY ON CLEAN ROOMS

DEAR PHOOEY: The job of a parent is to be a consistent and loving teacher of those lessons their children need in order to survive and thrive. There are just so many things a parent can nag the kids about before they are either resented or tuned out. So the heavy artillery should be saved for the important battles.

However, let's define our terms. There is a big difference between neatness and cleanliness. Neatness involves tidiness and orderliness. Cleanliness involves sanitation and hygiene. Cleanliness and sanitation are not ridiculous, nor do they stifle creativity.

Want your phone to ring? Get Abby's booklet, "How to Be Popular" -- for people of all ages. To order, send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 28-year-old, reasonably attractive woman. I dress stylishly and wear subtle makeup. I am very nearsighted and wear glasses because I can't tolerate hard or soft contact lenses. (Believe me, I have tried.)

Abby, it infuriates me when men (whether they are dates or not), casual acquaintances or co-workers think I should feel complimented when they say, "You'd be much prettier without your glasses."

I am sometimes tempted to say, "And you'd be even more handsome with a little more hair on your head -- or less padding around your middle." Or, "You'd be a much nicer person if you had better manners!"

Abby, please tell these oafs to look in a mirror before they start giving women fashion advice. Thanks. -- FOUR EYES AND WELL-ADJUSTED

DEAR WELL-ADJUSTED: Resist that old saw, "The best defense is a good offense."

Heed the wise words of author Letty Cottin Pogrebin: "Men who never make passes at women with glasses are asses."

Also consider the advantage for those who wear glasses: In a romantic situation, when the glasses are removed, it's a clear signal that someone is going to get kissed!

DEAR ABBY: Until late last fall, I was a registered voter in Clackamas County, Oregon. After you urged people to vote, I decided to re-register after changing my address to the local jail where I am being held pending trial, since address changes need to be recorded per Oregon law.

The response I received was a note attached to a photocopy that stated, "I am unable to process your registration until you have completed your sentence." It was attached to a copy of a citation of Oregon law that, in effect, stated that a person with a felony conviction loses the right to vote during the term of imprisonment.

As "Illinois Voter" stated (in your column), "If each community made it easier to vote, more people would vote."

It took letters to the Elections Division, assistant county attorney and Clackamas County Clerk, as well as secretary of state and then-Gov.-Elect Barbara Roberts -- but I continue to be a registered voter as of Dec. 17, 1991, as the laws of the state and the nation provide.

Civil rights for all! What do you say, Abby? -- NO. 90-2310

DEAR "90": Convicted felons are denied the right to vote, but one is presumed innocent until proven guilty.

By popular request, Abby shares more of her favorite prize-winning, easy-to-prepare recipes. To order, send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054 (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: Recently you ran a letter from "Helen in K.C" that raised the issue of whether or not to include AIDS as the cause of death in an obituary. One statement in that letter concerned me deeply, so I hope you will print this in order to correct the misinformation.

The sentence: "Due to ignorance, many people think AIDS is a venereal disease -- which it is not."

Abby, I am the manager of the AIDS Education Project at California State University, Sacramento. Please advise your readers that AIDS IS a sexually transmitted disease (the term "venereal disease" was phased out several years ago).

AIDS can be transmitted through an infected person by one of three ways: 1) sex (without protection), including penis to vagina, penis to mouth, penis to rectum, mouth to vagina, mouth to rectum, or sharing sex toys; 2) direct blood-to-blood contact, including sharing hypodermic needles, tattoo equipment, sex toys or razor blades; 3) infected mothers may pass the virus to their unborn babies during pregnancy, delivery or through breast feeding.

People who believe that AIDS cannot be transmitted through sex are operating without clear and accurate information. AIDS is a non-discriminatory, equal-opportunity sexually transmitted disease. -- SUSAN FELDMAN, CALIFORNIA STATE UNIVERSITY, SACRAMENTO

DEAR MS. FELDMAN: The sentence that concerns you concerns me even more because a crucial word was inadvertently omitted. The sentence, "Due to ignorance, many people think AIDS is a venereal disease -- which it is not," should have read: "Due to ignorance, many people think AIDS is exclusively a sexually transmitted disease-- which it is not."

DEAR ABBY: We are 28 third-graders at Sumter Christian School in Sumter, S.C. Sometimes Mrs. Tomlinson reads the class stuff out of your column. You said a lady wanted to name her baby after you but her husband wouldn't let her.

We think Abby is a beautiful name. We have 50 eggs in an incubator in our classroom. They will hatch out to be cute little baby chicks on May 10 and we will name one of our baby chicks Abby after you if that is OK with you.

Could you please send us your picture that you have signed? We will put it on the wall next to the one Mrs. Bush sent us. Write soon, as we are out of school May 31. Thank you and goodbye. Sign this ... MRS. TOMLINSON'S THIRD-GRADERS

DEAR THIRD-GRADERS AND MRS. TOMLINSON: I would be honored to have one of your baby chicks named after me. My picture (signed) is on its way.

What teen-agers need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with their peers and parents is now in Abby's updated, expanded booklet, "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)