DEAR ABBY: Recently you ran a letter from "Helen in K.C" that raised the issue of whether or not to include AIDS as the cause of death in an obituary. One statement in that letter concerned me deeply, so I hope you will print this in order to correct the misinformation.

The sentence: "Due to ignorance, many people think AIDS is a venereal disease -- which it is not."

Abby, I am the manager of the AIDS Education Project at California State University, Sacramento. Please advise your readers that AIDS IS a sexually transmitted disease (the term "venereal disease" was phased out several years ago).

AIDS can be transmitted through an infected person by one of three ways: 1) sex (without protection), including penis to vagina, penis to mouth, penis to rectum, mouth to vagina, mouth to rectum, or sharing sex toys; 2) direct blood-to-blood contact, including sharing hypodermic needles, tattoo equipment, sex toys or razor blades; 3) infected mothers may pass the virus to their unborn babies during pregnancy, delivery or through breast feeding.

People who believe that AIDS cannot be transmitted through sex are operating without clear and accurate information. AIDS is a non-discriminatory, equal-opportunity sexually transmitted disease. -- SUSAN FELDMAN, CALIFORNIA STATE UNIVERSITY, SACRAMENTO

DEAR MS. FELDMAN: The sentence that concerns you concerns me even more because a crucial word was inadvertently omitted. The sentence, "Due to ignorance, many people think AIDS is a venereal disease -- which it is not," should have read: "Due to ignorance, many people think AIDS is exclusively a sexually transmitted disease-- which it is not."

DEAR ABBY: We are 28 third-graders at Sumter Christian School in Sumter, S.C. Sometimes Mrs. Tomlinson reads the class stuff out of your column. You said a lady wanted to name her baby after you but her husband wouldn't let her.

We think Abby is a beautiful name. We have 50 eggs in an incubator in our classroom. They will hatch out to be cute little baby chicks on May 10 and we will name one of our baby chicks Abby after you if that is OK with you.

Could you please send us your picture that you have signed? We will put it on the wall next to the one Mrs. Bush sent us. Write soon, as we are out of school May 31. Thank you and goodbye. Sign this ... MRS. TOMLINSON'S THIRD-GRADERS

DEAR THIRD-GRADERS AND MRS. TOMLINSON: I would be honored to have one of your baby chicks named after me. My picture (signed) is on its way.

What teen-agers need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with their peers and parents is now in Abby's updated, expanded booklet, "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I hope that by printing this letter it will make other parents do some serious thinking about their relationships with their teens.

My neighbor's 17-year-old daughter and the daughter's 16-year-old girlfriend spent two hours talking to me about boys and sex. The 17-year-old is thinking about having sex with her boyfriend. While I certainly did not encourage it, I did talk openly about safe-sex practices and birth control. I also explained why it would be better if she waited until she is older and more mature.

What bothers me the most is, why aren't these girls talking to their own mothers? The girls are friends of my teen-aged sons -- that is how they know me.

Abby, it isn't my place to talk to them about these things, but since I'm the only one they trust, I won't betray them. My sons and I are very open with each other, and we discuss everything they have on their minds.

I wish more parents would listen to their kids -- even if what the kids say may shock and dismay them. Parents shouldn't judge -- they should just be there for their children. -- SOMEBODY ELSE'S MOM

DEAR MOM: The neighbors' kids are talking to you because they are not comfortable talking to their own moms (or dads). How lucky for them that you are there for them.

Unfortunately, not all parents are comfortable talking to their teens about safe-sex practices and birth control. Some may even resent the fact that their children are getting information from a neighbor (you) that they, their own parents, would be reluctant to give them.

I say, if kids ask -- they are old enough to know. What our children don't know can hurt them.

DEAR ABBY: I am writing to you for advice about a dilemma that I never thought would happen to me.

Several months ago, I asked a girl to attend the high school prom with me. She didn't say yes, but she didn't say no either. A couple of weeks later, I asked her again, and she was very evasive. Tired of her games, I asked another girl and she said yes right away. When the first girl found out that I had asked someone else to the prom, she became moody and distant. Then I found out through the grapevine that she had bought a prom dress on the assumption that she was going with me.

I have no sympathy for her. Her indefinite replies left me second-guessing, so I asked somebody else. Now several people seem to think that I am at fault. The way I see it, since I asked her twice without getting a definite response, I think I should be allowed to ask somebody else. Am I right? -- SELF-DEFENSE

DEAR SELF-DEFENSE: You are absolutely right, beyond a shadow of a doubt!

Abby's family recipes are included in her cookbooklet. Send a long, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Cookbooklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)