DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I worked literally up to the day our son was born. Before he was born my husband and I looked at our finances and worked out I can take at least a year off from working to be home with our son. My husband is able to pick up extra hours at his job and the OT is really good. We figured out if he works one extra half shift a week, that covers some of my lost income and we have gotten really good at budgeting, so things were good the first two months.

A second shift opening came up a few weeks ago and it means an extra $2 an hour plus the chance for more overtime and so my husband grabbed the spot.

Now he leaves the house around two, works until at least 11 p.m., and does not get home until midnight or later. Then he doesn’t get to sleep until sometimes two in the morning and by the time he gets his rest there is not much time to spend with our son and me before he heads out to work again.

The extra money is the only good thing about the new shift, and I am not saying we cannot use the extra money, but we were doing okay without it and right now we have almost zero family time most days of the week and I get to feeling lonely sometimes.

I have asked him to try and get back on the day shift, but he said the differential is too good to give up right now.

I want him to have time with us. I have long days and evenings all alone with our beautiful baby, and as much as it wears me down sometimes and I miss my husband, I think it is worse for him because he is missing time with his son.

Even on his days off, he is still on his workday sleep schedule, although he tries to be up earlier, but I see he is tired for the rest of the day.

How do I convince my husband we can make it on the income from the original dayshift plan? --- WE WERE GOOD BEFORE

DEAR WE WERE GOOD BEFORE: Your husband’s urge to provide well for his family is a normal one.

You mentioned you were managing on his previous income, so it seems to me the way to convince him that was the case is to give him some solid evidence of that through bank and credit card statements, or whatever other methods you were using to make one income cover your costs of living.

You can also stress what you shared about how lonely you are while you’re home alone with your little one for the long stretches of your husband’s work and sleep schedule and how much he’s missing out on with his current routine.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I’ve raised a wonderful 22-year-old daughter who is currently out living on her own for the first time. She has gotten a job, hasn’t spent all her money, and has done quite well living on her own.

She grew up with a rather strict father, but I myself as a mother have always been less strict and more supportive and encouraging for her to be whoever she wants to be. I was super supportive of her move to Miami.

Recently however, I found out that even though she is doing really well at most things, she has done a few things, which although I am not that upset by, her father would be if he knew.

Recently one of her friend’s mothers (her daughter moved in with my daughter) told me that both of our kids loved going to this nightclub to party. At first I thought that was fine, but then I was informed that on two occasions they both participated in some events. The events were a wet t-shirt contest and bikini Jello wrestling. I was also informed that my daughter and her friend go topless and wear just thong bottoms to the beach, as is common in Miami.

Apparently my daughter’s friend is very honest with her mother and the mother didn’t think anything of telling me this information.

On one hand, everyone has to do crazy things especially when young, but on the other hand I know her father would be super angry with this. There was even a picture of our daughters showing off their butts at the beach on her friend’s social media.

Personally I am torn between: 1. looking the other way; 2. Telling my daughter to stop the wild activities; and 3. Telling her father so he can step in.

Honestly her life is going great and so far nothing bad has happened because she is doing these things. I still think she has a great future, but as her mom I worry. So far I’m leaning in the direction of being the cool mom and pretending I don’t know of these things. I can let her have her wild moment or two, or even congratulate her since she did actually win the wet t-shirt contest. I know if I was her friend I would do that for sure, but instead I’m her mom.

What should I do? --- TORN

DEAR TORN: So long as your daughter hasn’t directly shared information with you regarding her adventures, I’m guessing she prefers for you not to know about them, at least not yet, very possibly because she’s guessing how her father would react.

Your adult daughter is entitled to live her own life. It’s natural for you to worry about her. It’s what parents do. But as long as she’s not breaking any laws or endangering herself or others, then I think the best course is to let her be the one to decide when or if to share information about her leisure pursuits with you and her father.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Before he died my grandfather used to show me and my sister the only guitar he kept from his collection he started way back when he was my age. It was an early 1960s Gibson SG Special. I remember how beautiful and next-to-new it looked and he showed us how he had our Gram sew in a little rose in the case for him.

He told me that since I was what he called the musical one in the family, he wanted to make sure I got his guitar to keep it in the family.

When I was downtown last week I saw my grandfather’s guitar in a pawn shop. I knew it was his because I could see the rose my Gran made for the case.

I never knew what happened to it, so I asked my dad, and he said so far as he knew, my aunt still had it and that it was supposed to stay in the family, no matter what.

When I asked my aunt about it she told me her daughter, my cousin and someone I thought of as a good friend, had been given the guitar when she turned 21. So far as she knew it was still being held onto by my cousin.

When I caught up with my cousin she said she needed some cash, so she pawned it, and was saving up to go back and get it asap.

So far I haven’t told anyone besides my sister and my parents about this. It was a sad deal to me because my grandfather had always told me I would get to be the next one to hold onto the guitar. So I think it should have come to me.

Now I am mad at my cousin for hocking it.

The pawn shop wants nearly $3500, and I don’t have that kind of money, and I know my cousin sure as sh_t doesn’t have it either. So I think the guitar that was so loved by my Grandpa, which was supposed to have come to me, will be lost to the family.

How is this right?! --- NOT HERS TO HOCK

DEAR NOT HERS TO HOCK: I don’t blame you for being upset if you had every reason to believe the guitar was to have been yours according to your grandfather’s wishes.

Unfortunately, without any concrete evidence that you were the one intended by your grandfather to have the guitar, that battle is most likely lost.

However, perhaps something can still be done to raise the money to get either your cousin’s loan settled or the guitar directly purchased.

You might want to investigate if anyone else in the family agrees this is an heirloom worth holding onto. If so, you could possibly arrange for a loan or other financial assistance to help you make certain your grandfather’s treasure remains in the family.