DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I know it’s seems hypocritical because I myself married a younger man, but my husband is only six years younger than me, and the woman our son is currently dating is more than twice that much older than him. He is 24 and she just celebrated her 37th birthday.
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She has a son in high school, and a daughter in middle school. I very much doubt that if she and my son should get married she would want to have any more children, which is something our son has always told us he wanted.
I have never interfered with our son’s love life, and have always made first the girls and then the women he has brought home feel welcome and unjudged.
It has not always been easy, especially right now, but I remember how having my parents support our relationship meant a lot to both my husband and me.
I am honestly concerned our son will get serious enough with his new girlfriend to make her his future, and I am not sure that would be in his best interest.
Am I wrong in thinking he would be sacrificing a lot if he gives up, in the least, having children of his own? --- WORRIED MOTHER
DEAR WORRIED MOTHER: Whether I believe you’re right or wrong isn’t the point. Your son is a grown man, with his own vision of the life he wants to lead.
I can’t imagine that future children won’t be a key topic of discussion between your son and his girlfriend prior to their making any decisions about a long-term commitment.
In my opinion your best bet is to wait and see, and to let your son figure out what he feels will work best for him — ideally with the kind of support from you that your parents once gave you and your husband — regardless of how things play out.