DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I had a horrifying experience on my final flight home from college in my senior year following my graduation ceremony.
I ended up in therapy and on meds for two years, and even by car I haven’t been able to travel more than one to two hours away from my house since the near crash landing.
My sister is in the Air Force, stationed in Okinawa. She is engaged to another Air Force officer, and they want to have a small family wedding in Japan this spring, since they will not be back to the US for at least another 18 months.
They have generously offered to pay half my parents’ and my airfare, which makes it financially possible for us to all attend the ceremony.
However, I don’t think I can make it through boarding multiple planes and over 20 hours of flying time between Detroit and Okinawa and then back again.
Am I being selfish to turn down my sister’s generosity and also to miss the wedding? My sister is my best friend, and I know she will understand, but that does not make me feel any better. --- CAN’T DO IT
DEAR CAN’T DO IT: If you really and truly believe the trip would be more than you can bear, then hopefully your sister will indeed understand and you’ll have a chance to celebrate with her when she and her groom return from Japan.
However, given that you’ll be traveling with your parents, this could be a good opportunity to get back in the air with a support system in the seats next to you. Their presence and any aids recommended by your therapist and/or doctor might just give you the tools necessary to push back against your crippling fear and allow you to be part of your sister’s wedding.