DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My grandparents came with their families from Lebanon to America back in the 1970s. Things were bad for them because of the civil war there. They were teenagers then, the same age as I and my brother are now.
When they and their families got here both of them started working as soon as they could. They helped support their families and never got to get a real education.
After they got married they opened a Lebanese restaurant in a Lebanese neighborhood surrounded by people like them.
They speak English really well, and they taught us some Lebanese when they would come to visit with us since when we were little.
I love my grandparents and am proud of their story and what they did with their lives. It’s just that now that they have sold their restaurant to my aunt and uncle and they moved to our town to be closer to us they are around our house most of the time.
They still do a lot of stuff the “old way” as they call it, and when I have friends over or they come to help out with the boosters at my school, they seem so weird and old compared to the other grandparents around.
I feel bad about being embarrassed by them, but I can’t help it. I want to ask them to stop coming to help out at booster events and hanging around the house when my friends are over, but I think that would really hurt them.
Instead should I say something to my friends and the kids on my team so they know my grandparents aren’t weird, just very old country? --- THEY’RE OUT OF STEP
DEAR THEY’RE OUT OF STEP: If your friends and teammates are unable or unwilling to cope with people who are a little different, they’ve got a lot to learn.
I think it’s terrific your grandparents want to be part of your world. The one they experienced when they were your age was, as you admit, very different.
I’m not sure why you feel the need to apologize for or explain them to anyone. They have nothing to be ashamed of, and if you’re as proud of them as you say you are, then you’ll let them continue helping out with the boosters and being around your house — even when your friends are over — without apologies or explanations from you.