DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I was stunned when my daughter’s ex-husband showed up at the baptism of her and her second husband’s baby. He was not invited, and when he did appear, my son-in-law wanted to have him removed, but the pastor talked to him and my daughter and the result was the baptism went forward with my ex-son-in-law skulking in a rear pew, but a fight nearly broke out in front of the church right afterwards. That too was prevented by the pastor and an usher.
The two men used to be friends until my daughter started going with her now husband after she finally dumped her scummy first husband. The crud has been implying to people that the baby is his, which is pure bull crap. My daughter can no more stand the man than the rest of us can, especially because of the new lies he is trying to spread about her being with him after she was remarried.
By the end of the ceremony I was fuming. I have never been so mad at a member of the clergy, because I think his letting this nasty man stay was an insult to the family.
Do you think the pastor was right to let my ex-son-in-law be at my grandson’s baptism? --- HAD NO BUSINESS BEING THERE
DEAR HAD NO BUSINESS BEING THERE: Yes, I do, especially since I’m guessing that chief among your ex-son-in-law’s motives for crashing the baptism was so he could take advantage of a special event to rile up your family and cause the kind of scene the clergyman fortunately prevented.
By trying to keep it civil, the pastor was fulfilling his role as peacekeeper. As an added bonus his actions may very well have helped deny your ex-son-in-law the satisfaction of causing trouble, at least during and immediately following the baptism.