DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My mom raised me as a mostly single parent. My father did some time and then disappeared before I was in second grade.

My mom’s family history isn’t a great one, especially for the women in her family, who die young from heart problems. My mom didn’t know about hers until a short time before she died. I was with her when she did, and I could see she was not going easy.

She died before she hit her 52nd birthday, and even before the funeral and all, I was getting hit with all these “great words of wisdom” and “spiritual comfort” from people she knew, especially the people from her church.

Everything they said didn’t make me feel any better. Instead it all just pissed me off and added to my pain.

Why do people think it’s not only OK, but expected of them to come at someone in a bad place with stuff that means absolutely nothing and is only good for putting on the sh#t you get from Etsy? --- NOT HAVING IT

DEAR NOT HAVING IT: Although it didn’t do anything to help you in your great sorrow, it’s only natural for people who knew your mother and who know you to want to do something to ease your grief.

What you see as empty platitudes may be genuine sentiments that have given those who offered them to you comfort at some point in their lives.

Another potential motive is that they’re finding words to try and put some measure of perspective on the passing of a still relatively young woman.

When the very old die, it’s expected and in keeping with the natural order of things. When someone doesn’t make it to that golden age, it hits many, especially peers, hard.

So although you find it just one more layer of pain, please try to cut the well-meaning a little slack

Like you, they’re possibly also dealing with the loss of someone special to them with the passing of your mother.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Up until about five years ago, when my husband and I moved about 600 miles from the town I grew up in, my best friend from childhood was the person I was closest to besides my own mother and my husband. We shared everything, went through everything together, helped support each other through more than I can even begin to remember.

I guess it is probably because we both got busy with our lives, but we haven’t been in as close contact as we used to. We send each other birthday and holiday messages, and talk at least once or twice a year.

I know the lack of more constant contact is as much on me as her. But when I found out from my mom that “D” ended her marriage and moved in with a woman she met through a mutual friend, I was devastated because D never reached out to me when she was going through the end of her marriage and the start of her new life with someone she obviously cares enough about to live with.

We went through so much together when we were growing up and then teenagers and on into starting adult lives and families. Both of us lost our dads while we were in high school, we were in each other’s wedding parties, and her son is the same age as my oldest daughter. All these things made us so close before my move.

I’m sure she and her family went through tough times with the divorce and all the changes in their lives. Had I known about them, I would have been able to be supportive of my oldest friend. Because she never reached out, even when sending birthday messages and the last time we talked together awhile ago, I couldn’t be there for her.

Do you think I should contact her and let her know I know about some of what’s happening in her life, or do you think there is some reason she didn’t want me to know and I should just let our friendship kind of die? --- I DIDN’T KNOW

DEAR I DIDN’T KNOW: It’s not at all uncommon for even formerly close friends to drift apart, especially when divided by time and physical distance.

When her world was changing, your old friend may’ve felt there was no need to bring you into her confidence, particularly if she had a good local support network. It’s possible by that point, she’d simply lost the habit of leaning heavily on you.

I see no reason why you can’t reach out to her now you know she’s been through such major life changes.

Once you re-establish contact, it’ll be up to her to decide what details of her life she chooses to share with you.

None of this necessarily means your friendship is at an end. It’s quite possible it’s just settling into a different phase.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: When my grandfather passed, he had it in his will to pass out some of the heirlooms he had held onto to our family members.

Ever since I was a small child, I was fascinated by a photo of his great-grandmother, who I look just like.

There is a family legend that the photo is haunted by the spirit of my great-great-grandmother, who was very involved in Spiritualism back in her day.

I used to laugh it off, because I not only do not believe in ghosts, but I am the least superstitious person I know.

I am beginning to rethink all that since inheriting the photograph.

I have had to replace the glass on the frame twice now because it has dropped from the wall where it is hanging and cracked the glass.

I have several other family photos hung on the same wall and have never had any trouble with any of them falling. They are all on the same kinds of hangers with the same kinds of hooks.

There was also one time when I found the photo on the table near the wall display, leaning on a picture of my own children.

I was the only one in the house at the time, and I know it was where it belonged when I got up that morning and passed it on the way to the kitchen to make breakfast.

I know it sounds strange, but I feel like I should put the photo somewhere else, where I don’t have to see it all the time and wonder about it.

Does that make me slightly cracked? I have asked everyone in my family if they have played around with the photo and everyone said no. --- DON’T BELIEVE IN GHOSTS

DEAR DON’T BELIEVE IN GHOSTS: I can understand your being unnerved by what seems like unexplainable happenings, and I doubt you’re losing your mind.

My guess is there’s a completely non-paranormal reason for the photograph’s falling down and getting moved, regardless of the claims of innocence among your family members.

However, since I believe you should feel safe and comfortable in your own home, I agree with your idea of placing the photo someplace in the house you and other members of you household are less likely to visit, without letting anyone else in on your secret relocation spot.

If the picture stays put and intact, then that ought to demonstrate whether or not you’ve foiled your family ghost, whomever it turns out to be.

Dear Readers: Best wishes to you and yours for a Healthy, Happy New Year!