DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I know I’m not perfect, and I was always very careful not to come down hard on my daughters when they were growing up if they made what I thought to be mistakes. They are both smart, sensible women and I usually didn’t feel the need to hold my tongue too often through their growing up, and now they are fully-grown young women.

One of my daughters moved back from college after she graduated last spring. We get along well overall, but she has become a critical person, and for all the things I do right, at least in her opinion, all it takes is for me to do one thing wrong, as she sees it, and she goes off on me with sharp criticism and ridicule.

I try to take it patiently and hope this is just a stage she is going through, like all the stages she went through growing up, but it hurts me sometimes that she can be almost cruel to me, often for something I didn’t even know I was doing or saying wrong according to her.

She almost never says anything to me when I’ve clearly done something right in her opinion though, which would be helpful in some ways to give me an idea of what is right by her. There’s also the way she talks to me when she isn’t happy with me. It makes me feel even worse.

Sometimes I want to say something to her about how unfair or unkind she is being, but do you think that will just make things worse? --- TRYING MY BEST

DEAR TRYING MY BEST: I think it’d be a good idea to directly discuss with your daughter how her criticisms and the way she expresses them make you feel, and how they reflect back on her. For one thing, her behavior towards you is possibly being extended to other people with whom she has relationships, and not too many people enjoy being criticized for perceived “shortcomings.”

It sounds like your daughter is perhaps not quite the fully-grown young woman you believe her to be. She has yet to learn to cut people slack for falling short of her definition of perfection.

Part of being an adult is learning how to deal with all sorts of people respectfully and patiently. It sounds like you tried to teach your children that golden rule by your own example of refraining from criticizing them when they were younger. Your daughter may now benefit from a direct lesson from her mom in how to treat people better.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My daughter was in a relationship with a man she thought would be her life partner, if not her husband in time.

Two months ago, they both came over to my house to tell me my daughter is expecting, and that although they intend to remain good friends, they will no longer be a couple, and the father of my future grandchild has promised to support his child emotionally and financially.

I could tell this was not an easy conversation for them to have with me. I really like “Coulton,” and I know my daughter loves him and fully thought he was her “one.” After Coulton left, my daughter told me he told her he has feelings for her, but not the kind to build a lifetime on.

I can tell it just about broke my daughter’s heart, but she is tough and will have a lot of support from her family and friends, including me, her dad, my parents, her brothers and their wives, and the coworkers she has grown very close to. When they were at my house, she and Coulton said his parents and family plan to be very involved with the baby too.

So, while all that makes me feel a little better, why does what ought to be exciting news about a new grandchild make me feel more sad than joyful? --- WHY AM I NOT EXCITED?

DEAR WHY AM I NOT EXCITED?: It’s more than understandable that you have mixed feelings about your daughter’s pregnancy due to the breakup of her relationship with the baby’s father.

Hopefully her ex will make good on his intentions be an involved and supportive parent to their child. If that stays the case, then between your daughter’s family and friends circle and her ex-boyfriend’s, there should be, as you hope, a good care network for both your daughter and grandchild.

Formalizing the terms of the parental partnership before the baby arrives may make for a better situation for your daughter and grandchild than is often the case when couples split up at some point after their children are born.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: After my son was mugged on his way back to his dorm in his freshman year, he found himself going through his own kind of PTSD. Thankfully he was not badly hurt, but he was hurt enough to have developed serious anxiety and has had several bouts of depression over the last two years.

He ended up finishing out the year of the mugging, but transferred to a smaller college, closer to home, to which he commutes, and stays with my sister, who lives only about 10 minutes from the campus, on nights he has had late classes. The rest of the time, he stays with my wife and me.

Shortly after the mugging, my son started seeing a therapist who supposedly specializes in treating people with PTSD.

I know I am not a professionally trained therapist, but I have to say some of the “exercises” this therapist has my son do are a bit out there, if you ask me.

I talk to my wife and a few close friends who have gone through or are still in therapy, and when I tell them what my son’s therapist is having him do, they almost all say something doesn’t sound quite right and think my son ought to see someone else, if for no other reason than to get a different opinion of what can most help him.

I know my son has a lot of confidence in the therapist he has now, but do you think it would be a bad idea for him to get another opinion on his treatment? --- NOT QUITE RIGHT

DEAR NOT QUITE RIGHT: From what I understand about therapy, it’s a very individual experience, not a one-size-fits-all solution. What works for your wife and friends might not be right for your son.

I would think that if you’ve seen positive results, such as a lessening or mastering of your son’s anxiety and depression, chances are whatever his therapist is recommending and encouraging is working for him, and there may not be any real benefit to seeking another opinion on his treatment at this point in time.