DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: After the family who rented the downstairs apartment moved out, we started seeing random roaches in our kitchen and back bathroom. We never had them before and to say they gross me out is an understatement.

In the past few weeks, we’ve been seeing more and more, even after we contacted the landlord and she called in exterminators who sprayed and put out baits, which they said can take some time to work.

I want to move, but we can’t afford to pay rent for the rest of the 8 months we have on this lease and find another, roach-free place to live if we break the lease here.

I want to call in our own exterminators, because I think the last ones didn’t do a very good job. It’s cheaper than breaking the lease, but my boyfriend says we should just let the original guys have a chance to take care of the problem as they were hired to do.

Do you think he’s right, or shouldn’t we take some steps of our own to get rid of this disgusting infestation? --- HATE ROACHES

DEAR HATE ROACHES: They’re ancient, and some say they’ll be here long after humankind is gone, but that doesn’t mean roaches should be tolerated in your home.

From what I’ve experienced in similar situations, roach extermination treatments do take days, if not weeks, to be effective. Gross as it is to live with them, I believe your boyfriend is right to give what’s already been done a chance.

However, I’d certainly keep the landlord in the loop about how successful or not the treatment she paid for is, especially if pest control is included, as I expect it is, among her responsibilities in the lease.

If you do decide to bring in your own exterminator, it might be a good idea to start with a consultation visit first, so they can see what’s been done so far. You may discover there’s nothing they’d do substantially different than the first exterminators, in which case you face the possibility of spending more money for the same results.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Some of my friends think I’m weird, but I really, really love having my kids home from school. Summers and school breaks are the best! I even didn’t mind the COVID virtual school situation, which I know makes me a freak, but I guess I’m a freak then.

Now that my five kids started the new school year, I’m having a hard time adjusting, even more so than the usual start of the school year blues I always get. When the bus picked them up the first day of school, all the other parents were celebrating. I smiled along with them, but really felt like crying.

While the kids are at school I do some freelance medical transcribing a few hours a week for the family practice where I worked before staying home fulltime, so it isn’t like I have nothing to do all day.

I can’t seem to get past missing them so much during the day, after they go off to school. Am I nuts? --- MISS MY KIDS

DEAR MISS MY KIDS: I don’t think missing your kids is a strange or nutsy thing to do, especially after just having them with you throughout the weeks of their summer break.

What I do think is that you need to cultivate more ways to fill in the void they leave when they get on the bus each day, especially if your freelance work is done in your home.

It would probably be better for you if you got out of the too quiet house and had time around other people, which is likely to engage your mind more fully than working alone at home can be expected to do.

Volunteering somewhere in the community is one option you may want to explore. It’d get you out of the house and give you other things to focus on, and volunteers are certainly in short supply these days.

Another tried-and-true remedy to empty nest blues is taking a class offered during your kids’ school hours. Again, it could provide you with a social out, and a physical or academic challenge you might enjoy and be enriched by.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: When my first wife and I bought our first home we really worked long and hard to save up for a decent downpayment and spent well under what our bank preapproved us for.

We knew we wanted to start a family within a couple years of moving in and we planned for my wife to only have to work if she wanted to once the kids came and if my business took off enough to support us all.

The business took longer to grow than expected, and we barely made it out of the 2001 recession.

This all meant my wife ended up still working after our son was born, and we stayed in our “starter” house until he was in high school.

Our son sent me and his stepmother the link to the plans for a house he and his girlfriend are looking to build just outside Chicago. It will be a beautiful house, but it’s double the size of the house he grew up in, with four bedrooms, three baths, a den, a media room, and a two-car garage.

My son and his girlfriend have been together for nearly six years and they are talking about getting married. But taking on a big mortgage seems like a huge commitment for an unmarried couple.

Our son is in a good, stable (if any are these days!) job, and his girlfriend is an AP high school teacher. The house is in a good location for both of their jobs, but my wife and I keep talking it over and thinking they are getting in way over their heads and don’t have a clue.

What do we say to them to help persuade them to cool their jets on building a big and expensive house right now and first get their feet wet with a smaller one? --- THEY’RE OVERBUYING

DEAR THEY’RE OVERBUYING: Although, in my experience, lending institutions tend to prequalify potential borrowers at the very top of their earnings range, if your son and his girlfriend are being conservative, they might not be getting into as deep a mortgage debt as you fear.

As concerned parents, you can share your thoughts and worries with the younger couple, but that’s where I’d leave off in the present circumstances.

My guess is if they’ve gotten to the point of selecting plans for their future home, they’ve taken steps to secure financing. They may already be far enough into the home-building process to have some understanding of what they’re doing, at least for now.

If not, they’ll have to learn to make it work, as you and your first wife and countless other young couples have done forever.