DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My son and daughter-in-law are both teachers. They had their third child late this past spring so my daughter-in-law could make the most of her maternity leave, rolling it into the summer break.

Even though I just work 20-25 hours a week, I enjoy my job very much. It gets me out of the house and keeps me connected with the coworkers I worked with when I was still fulltime.

I cut to parttime when my first grandchild was born, so I could help my son and daughter-in-law out, especially since I’m the nearest family member and have always been happy to help out when I can. It was at that time too when I was still helping care for my ailing parents, so I was able to be less stressed and more helpful all around.

Lately, both my son and his wife have begun pressuring me to give up my parttime job come September so I can become their fulltime babysitter. They would pay me more than I make at my current job, and I would have so much more time with my grandkids.

Those are tempting carrots, but I quit working fulltime for a reason.

I know my being my grandkids’ sitter would mean a lot to them, to their parents, and I know I would enjoy it. But I have come to also enjoy the flexibility of only working at the most three days a week and having the rest of the time to do what I want or need to do, like sometimes sit for my grandkids.

Am I being selfish here if I turn down the offer to become a fulltime granny? --- LIKE THINGS AS THEY ARE

DEAR LIKE THINGS AS THEY ARE: I don’t blame you or think you’re selfish at all for wanting to keep your current work life intact. Holding onto those social and intellectual stimulations are vital parts of anyone’s wellbeing.

I can likewise see the attraction of spending more time with your grandchildren.

Whatever you decide, keep in mind that at the end of the day, doing what makes you happier will also hopefully keep you healthier, and more able to continue in all aspects of your life.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My great-aunt is a great old lady. She has always been everyone’s second grandma, but she never had children of her own, so whenever she sends clothes for the kids in the family, she gets things way off target.

Like for my own son, who just turned 24-months, she sent him these way too small onesies, which would have fit him a year or more ago. For my 6-year-old daughter, she sends these outfits that are not only also too small, but way too young for her.

I know she is trying her best, but my cousins and I all talk about it, and we wish she would at least send along the gift receipts so we can exchange her often expensive gifts for things our kids can get some use out of.

She is so generous, and we all really appreciate her generosity. None of us has the heart to tell her she is also way off the mark.

Is there a way to help her prevent wasting her money without hurting her feelings? --- DON’T WANT TO HURT HER FEELINGS

DEAR DON’T WANT TO HURT HER FEELINGS: It isn’t hard to mis-buy clothing for others, particularly children.

I think your idea of trying to have your great-aunt include gift receipts with her presents is a good one. But you and your cousins need to be consistent in gently reminding her of your request.

Additionally, you could be tactful, but honest, in letting her know sometimes the outfits she buys don’t fit the children she’s giving them to. Even if she has lots of money, I can’t imagine she wouldn’t prefer to spend it wisely, rather than wasting it on presents that go unused by those she’s hoping to do something nice for.

If those suggestions don’t work, and if you haven’t already, perhaps you could set up a clothing swap among all the children in your extended family, so at least someone may get use out of the misguided, but well-intentioned gifts.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Like my mother, I am terrified of flying. As a kid, we only took car trips and one cruise because of how my mother was about flying.

So far I have been able to get away without flying more than a very few times, like when my father was critically ill, and then later when I had to get home fast for his funeral when he died. I was already miserable over those circumstances, so between having my wife with me for the trips, and all the emotions connected with my father’s illness and death, I managed to get on those planes.

Now it is a different situation. Reductions at work have meant many of us have had to take on the responsibilities of now gone coworkers. In my case, my supervisor has told me starting this autumn I will be expected to expand the territory I am responsible for covering to include areas I can either take at least a day or two to drive to, or rather hop a flight to.

The former is not the preferred option, since that means lost time, which means a potential drop in the company’s revenues.

So, the long and the short of it is I am afraid I am going to have to tell my supervisor about my fear, and risk having it adversely affect my job, which is something I cannot really afford to do. My company has been generous in compensating those of us still onboard, and my wife and I have based much on that income level.

Am I being unreasonable if I give in to my fear, and do you believe I need to tell my supervisor about it? --- NOT A FAN OF FLYING

DEAR NOT A FAN OF FLYING: While I don’t share your fear of flying, like many people, I too know what it’s like to deal with a phobia, and how hard it is to get past what causes you anxiety.

I’ve had some success in fighting my fear by challenging it. In your case, you’ve proven to yourself that when you had to do it, you were able to get onto a plane.

Reminding yourself of your prior successes against your fear, albeit during difficult times, could prove a useful tool for you to use when it comes to your work travel.

It might also be well worth your while to investigate either proven therapies or short-term medications that can enable you to travel with less stress.

I’d give those options a try before sharing a major potential career limitation with your supervisor. If you’re able to at least start managing your fear of flying, you’ll be able to get where the company needs you to be, and no one at work will perhaps be the wiser.