DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My Granddad worked in construction for his whole career. He’s your typical first-generation Irish, with freckles and red hair, when he had some.

My grandmother, mother, and I keep telling him he needs to be careful and keep putting on sunblock and a hat and long sleeves after having a melanoma removed last summer. But he doesn’t pay us any attention.

When he visits me in Nevada, he nearly never does any of these things, and my grandmother and I have to practically yell at him to do what he needs to so he doesn’t get any more cancerous spots.

How do you convince a stubborn old Irishman, as my grandmother calls him? Since I have his skin and know better we always, always have sunblock and extra sunhats in the house for whenever I go out and my fair-skinned relatives visit, so he has no excuse! --- TRYING TO KEEP GRANDDAD SAFE

DEAR TRYING TO KEEP GRANDDAD SAFE: My advice for you and your family is to remember to first acknowledge that your grandfather is a grown man fully capable of making his own decisions.

The next step can then be to remind him of how much you want to have him around and healthy for as long as you can, and that one way to help make that happen is if he takes care of his skin, especially when he’s spending a lot of time outdoors.

If he’s able to be convinced that what he potentially perceives as nagging is in fact a demonstration of how concerned you are for his well-being, hopefully he’ll be persuaded to take the necessary precautions to protect his skin better.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: For my 60th birthday, my son promised me that he would do some repairs around the house, instead of giving me a big expensive present. His wife and my other son wanted to send me away for a spa weekend, but he convinced them this would be the better, more lasting gift. Plus if I decide to sell my house and downsize, getting some things updated or fixed would be a big help.

The biggest thing is replacing the vanity, mirror, and toilet in the master bath. It has all needed to be replaced for years. It all works as it is, but we redid the other bathroom and our bedroom, and now the old bathroom looks bad compared to the other rooms we fixed up.

Everything was picked out and purchased by my kids so it could be ready to go in time for my birthday.

I am not a nagging mom and don’t want to start becoming one now. But it is five months since my birthday, and the work still hasn’t been done. We have the vanity, mirror, and toilet all sitting in the garage waiting to be put in by my son and a plumber friend of his.

How long do I wait before I start reminding him of his promise? --- STILL WAITING

DEAR STILL WAITING: I applaud your restraint if you haven’t brought the subject of the unfulfilled promise up with your son yet after already waiting for five months.

There is a difference between nagging and reminding. I think it’s well past time to remind your son that you could use the promised work done sooner, rather than later. The alternative is for you to have to pay a contractor or handyman to do the job, and that would mean your son doesn’t end up giving you much of a birthday present.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My mother and I have not spoken or had any contact since she literally turned her back on me over my marrying a woman born in Russia.

She told me, in front of my then fiancée, the woman I love is just another green card hunter and is only using me to get one. Actually, my wife is already an American citizen. She became one long before we ever met.

My mother grew up in and has chosen to live her life in a very sheltered, bigoted world, keeping with the same people she has known since she was a child or young adult. They all think like her, so she has lived in this bubble of her opinions, and never hesitates to share them. My mother’s father and mother were exactly this same way, and they cut off my uncle because he started going to a Baptist church.

I just learned my mother had a serious heart attack and is in the waiting period to have bypass surgery. My aunt told me it should be happening within a few weeks.

I want to visit my mother before she has the surgery, if for no other reason than to make peace with her. Although she said to me she would never accept my wife, I still love her, and thanks to the very woman she hates, I am working on getting past my resentment of my mother.

I believe — or I hope at least — my mother would also like to see me before she has the surgery, but do you think it is a good idea to visit her? It would be just me, which hurts as it is, but I agree with my wife one step at a time. --- WANT TO VISIT MY MOM

DEAR WANT TO VISIT MY MOM: Not knowing your mother, I’m in no position to say how she’d receive a visit from you prior to her surgery. If it were me, however, I’d certainly want to see my children under such circumstances.

Even in cases of ruptures between parents and children, or a history of little or no communication, there may yet remain enough love to facilitate a rekindling of at least a cordial relationship between the generations.

Your mother is in a tough spot right now. Even an offer of a visit by you might make her feel connected to you again.

I agree with your wife that it’s probably best to make your first overtures to your mom by yourself. Hopefully by gradually reestablishing a relationship with her, she’ll be more open to the true nature of your marriage and the good character of your wife.