DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My grandfather saved a lot of money while he was still healthy and working. Now his Parkinson’s has made it necessary for him to have fulltime care and I hear my mom and uncle fighting all the time over how they need to pay for Grandpa’s care out of the money they thought he would leave them.

My mom wants to use the money for her dad’s costs, especially since he has always said people should pay their own way. She says that is how he has lived his whole life and she would rather honor that thinking then try to hide his money to keep it safe for later.

My uncle has been working with a lawyer who does this kind of stuff to come up with ways to hide some of my Grandpa’s money.

It makes me mad to believe my uncle is so cold and greedy if all he wants is to tie-up my grandfather’s money in some way that it is protected from the nursing home taking it all.

I don’t understand a lot of this, but doesn’t my uncle sound like a giant a-hole if he only wants the money for himself and not to take care of his own dad? --- MY UNCLE’S A JERK

DEAR MY UNCLE’S A JERK: While it seems on the surface that your uncle is doing the wrong thing for the wrong reason, there’re potentially motives behind what he’s working on with the attorney, at least some of which might go beyond the goal of protecting his inheritance.

It may be that he’s trying to honor what he perceives as his dad’s wishes in his own way, or that there are future financial benefits for your grandfather in having some of his assets available for his care at a later date.

Since this is an issue being handled by your mom and uncle, perhaps talking to your mom about what’s going on in more detail could help make things less awful than they appear.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My boyfriend, who is a huge sports fan, and I met at a college football game. I was there with my brother and his friends when he was a senior. My boyfriend was also a senior and we got together after he graduated.

That was three years ago and he still lives in either his old school’s spirit wear and gear from his favorite pro teams. Even his underwear and socks have logos on them.

I once counted the number of shirts he has not connected with a team, and the number is seven. As he told me it’s enough to get through the workweek, with a couple of spares.

I have no problem with his loyalty to his teams. In a way I think it means he’s a loyal person in general. But don’t you think his only dressing in team sports stuff is a bit much?

I like to dress up sometimes for a nice dinner out, and my boyfriend’s idea of dressing up is to put on his one sports jacket on over a team T.

Isn’t this too much team spirit? --- TOO MUCH TEAM SPIRIT

DEAR TOO MUCH TEAM SPIRIT: We live in a casual society, and your boyfriend seems to fully embrace it.

It sounds to me like the problem as you see it isn’t so much that your boyfriend’s wardrobe is largely limited to items with team logos and slogans on them. It’s that he doesn’t make an effort to match the one you make to dress more nicely for less casual occasions.

If you haven’t let him know how you feel when he dresses as he normally does even when you step up your dress code for an evening or event, he may be clueless that he’s doing anything to displease you.

Perhaps if he is directly made aware of your wish to have him at least put on one of his workday shirts when you’re dressing up, he’d have a better idea of your expectations.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: A classmate and I both landed an awesome summer internship with one of the top law firms in DC the summer before our final year in law school. We were both assigned to work with the team of one of the firm’s top partners, who was working on an extremely high-profile case at the time. It was one of those cases that was constantly in the news.

One late night, after we had both been working since early in the morning, we found a file containing some very sensitive information on the counter in the breakroom. As soon as I saw it, I realized I was the one who had accidentally left it there, but I knew it would cost me the internship if I fessed up it was me who made the mistake.

Instead, I let on that I had no idea how it got there, which made my classmate believe she had been the one who unwittingly left such sensitive material in such a public place, since we were the only ones on the floor at the time. If it had been found by someone else, it would have meant huge trouble for several people, including us, so we agreed to keep quiet about it.

She felt so bad about “her” mistake, that she had a mini-meltdown, and ended up terminating her own internship.

Fortunately, she went on to graduate with honors, pass the bar on her first try, and snag a spot as an associate with another top flight firm.

So although my failing to come clean didn’t ultimately cost her anything, it still really bothers me all these years later, especially when she and I get together and start talking about old times.

Do you think my telling her the truth about what happened that summer would be a dumb thing to do at this late date? --- DO I FESS UP?

DEAR DO I FESS UP?: You need to ask yourself why telling your old classmate and fellow intern what really happened would make any difference to either of you at this point. Beyond giving yourself a chance to clear your conscience, as I see it, the greatest good would be in your friend’s being able to know she wasn’t at fault after years of believing she did something wrong. While things went well for her overall, her internship that one summer did not.

I think the only way you can move forward in your friendship is through your telling her what really happened that night. If she’s the forgiving kind, then your unburdening yourself not only relieves your conscience, but more importantly, allows her to know she wasn’t to blame for what happened back when you were working together.

Be prepared for some serious backlash if you do move forward with the confession. Your conscience will be clear, but her exoneration may come at the cost of your friendship, since it will be her choice to forgive or not.

Should you choose to keep silent, the price of holding onto your secret is the wedge already in place in your relationship caused by your guilt.