DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I am having a f
k of a time forgiving my parents for putting down my cat without talking to me first.
I was on deployment when it happened, and they didn’t have the f
king nerve to tell me until I was home on my post-deployment leave.
Do they think I’m a baby, and can’t take the truth?
I know I couldn’t have been there for it, but still, they could have treated me like an adult. I survived Marine bootcamp and so far two deployments. I have already handled more than my parents can imagine, and I told them so — loud and clear.
That cat was more like a best friend, especially while I was going through some rough s
t back in high school. The least they could have done was to let me see her one more time to say goodbye on a video chat.
Don’t I have the right to be pissed off? --- NO CHANCE TO SAY GOODBYE
DEAR NO CHANCE TO SAY GOODBYE: It’s never easy to lose a beloved pet, and remember your parents also lost a furry family member and had to make heartbreaking decisions.
I think you need to step back and put yourself in your parents’ position. Maybe they could have or even should have given you a heads-up on what was happening at the time, but they did what they thought was best in the moment.
If your cat was suffering, and you weren’t readily available, who would have been served by prolonging that pain for the time it took for your parents to connect with you, especially if regular communications weren’t possible?
As to not telling you about your loss before you were home on leave, that too was a judgement call you clearly don’t agree with, but it was one your parents potentially made in an attempt to allow you to grieve at home, rather than in a location that may have made that process awkward, on top of already being painful.
Obviously, I don’t know all the details in this particular case, but I also know that those who are left behind have to deal with things as they happen.
Now that you’ve made your parents know just how you feel, please listen to their side of the story and cut them a little slack.