DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: It makes me laugh every time I see or hear the suggestion for the mothers of newborns to sleep when their babies sleep. Just how is that supposed to work for me with my 1-month-old daughter when I already have a 2-year-old son who seems to need me ALL THE TIME, and who I don’t seem to have any time for, and a husband who works nights?

My mother-in-law lives a few miles away, and she is happy to help, but only when she knows her son is going to be home, which means I feel like I have to entertain her more like a guest than have someone who can help me.

I am turning into a real b#tch, and I can’t stand it. I was never like this before, and I don’t want to be like this now.

I need to get some sleep, but I feel bad about asking my husband to do much more, and I get the feeling from his mom that she thinks she’s already doing a lot when she comes by to visit.

Would it be wrong to ask them for more back-up so I can get some rest? --- JUST NEED SLEEP

DEAR JUST NEED SLEEP: I know it’s hard to be where you are now. Please don’t be shy about tapping into the other adults in your life to help give you the opportunity to get back on your feet and feeling more like yourself.

I don’t think it’s at all unreasonable for you to be completely honest with your husband and mother-in-law about how you need some downtime. Getting enough sleep is important not only for you, but for the rest of the family as well.

It might be a good idea to share with your husband and mother-in-law a few specific ways they can best help.

For instance, perhaps your mother-in-law can cover the early part of a few nights here and there while your husband’s at work so you’re able to catch some shuteye ahead of your own overnight shift.

Or, if your mother-in-law persists in still stopping by exclusively when her son’s home, don’t feel like you have to host her. Rather, on the days she comes to call, you could turn both little ones over to her and your husband for a few hours so you can do what you need to recharge your batteries even a little bit.

If you’re nursing your newborn, obviously, that has to be worked into your relief plan, but just having a couple hours to rest between nursing sessions may give you a small and necessary respite.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My husband won’t say anything to his parents, but he is deeply hurt and offended by his parents making his younger sister the executor of their wills. His dad called him to tell him that was their decision, but not why.

My husband is a paralegal in a corporate law office, and has much more legal knowledge than his sister. She and her husband own a car detailing company. They’re doing OK in it, and just built a big new house in a nice area. So obviously, they know some of what they’re doing businesswise.

But why would they pick my sister-in-law, who has no legal experience, to do such an important job? God willing, it’s one that won’t be called on to be done for many, many years, but it clearly bothers and confuses my husband. --- WHY NOT THEIR SON

DEAR WHY NOT THEIR SON: Although they haven’t shared it with your husband yet, your in-laws no doubt have their reasons for appointing your sister-in-law and not your husband as executor of their wills.

It’s possible they may feel your sister-in-law has a schedule that that better enables her to take on another responsibility — and make no mistake, being the executor of a will can be a time-consuming and demanding responsibility.

It’s also possible they didn’t want to put your husband on the spot, simply because he has a legal background. Think of the CPA in a family who’s constantly getting hit up for financial advice, or the cousin in the medical field everyone calls for a free diagnosis.

The only way your husband’s going to discover his parents’ motive for choosing his sister instead of him is to politely and calmly ask them directly.

If they prefer not to say, that’s their prerogative, and the best your husband can do in any case is to respect his parents’ wishes and let his sister know he’s around to help if she needs it when the time comes.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My Grammy was one of my all-time favorite people. It hit me hard when she passed suddenly last year.

Now all that pain is right back, and worse, because my grandfather has told us he has asked a woman from the senior center to marry him in just a few weeks, when it will not even be a year since Grammy passed.

When my mom told me Gramp’s plans, I could tell it was not easy for her either. She said she met the woman and she seems like a very nice person. I think my mom was trying to hide her true feelings from me so I will not get real upset. It has got to hurt her even more than it hurts me.

I told her how bad this hurts, but she said we have to just accept this is his decision and he has the right to live his own life.

How can he move on so fast from the incredible woman he loved for nearly 60 years? I don’t get it, and it hurts! --- HOW COULD HE FORGET GRAMMY SO SOON?

DEAR HOW COULD HE FORGET GRAMMY SO SOON?: It’s hard to lose someone you dearly love, as you’ve already learned; and your grandfather’s loss was huge.

After so many years together, I very much doubt your grandfather will ever forget the woman with whom he built and lived a life.

His remarrying isn’t an indication the torch he carries for your grandmother is burning any less brightly. As I see it, it most likely demonstrates he’s seeking a companion who hopefully can understand him and at least some of his experiences.

There’s a kind of safety in numbers, and for your grandfather, it may be being one of two beats being one alone.