DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My husband won’t say anything to his parents, but he is deeply hurt and offended by his parents making his younger sister the executor of their wills. His dad called him to tell him that was their decision, but not why.

My husband is a paralegal in a corporate law office, and has much more legal knowledge than his sister. She and her husband own a car detailing company. They’re doing OK in it, and just built a big new house in a nice area. So obviously, they know some of what they’re doing businesswise.

But why would they pick my sister-in-law, who has no legal experience, to do such an important job? God willing, it’s one that won’t be called on to be done for many, many years, but it clearly bothers and confuses my husband. --- WHY NOT THEIR SON

DEAR WHY NOT THEIR SON: Although they haven’t shared it with your husband yet, your in-laws no doubt have their reasons for appointing your sister-in-law and not your husband as executor of their wills.

It’s possible they may feel your sister-in-law has a schedule that that better enables her to take on another responsibility — and make no mistake, being the executor of a will can be a time-consuming and demanding responsibility.

It’s also possible they didn’t want to put your husband on the spot, simply because he has a legal background. Think of the CPA in a family who’s constantly getting hit up for financial advice, or the cousin in the medical field everyone calls for a free diagnosis.

The only way your husband’s going to discover his parents’ motive for choosing his sister instead of him is to politely and calmly ask them directly.

If they prefer not to say, that’s their prerogative, and the best your husband can do in any case is to respect his parents’ wishes and let his sister know he’s around to help if she needs it when the time comes.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My Grammy was one of my all-time favorite people. It hit me hard when she passed suddenly last year.

Now all that pain is right back, and worse, because my grandfather has told us he has asked a woman from the senior center to marry him in just a few weeks, when it will not even be a year since Grammy passed.

When my mom told me Gramp’s plans, I could tell it was not easy for her either. She said she met the woman and she seems like a very nice person. I think my mom was trying to hide her true feelings from me so I will not get real upset. It has got to hurt her even more than it hurts me.

I told her how bad this hurts, but she said we have to just accept this is his decision and he has the right to live his own life.

How can he move on so fast from the incredible woman he loved for nearly 60 years? I don’t get it, and it hurts! --- HOW COULD HE FORGET GRAMMY SO SOON?

DEAR HOW COULD HE FORGET GRAMMY SO SOON?: It’s hard to lose someone you dearly love, as you’ve already learned; and your grandfather’s loss was huge.

After so many years together, I very much doubt your grandfather will ever forget the woman with whom he built and lived a life.

His remarrying isn’t an indication the torch he carries for your grandmother is burning any less brightly. As I see it, it most likely demonstrates he’s seeking a companion who hopefully can understand him and at least some of his experiences.

There’s a kind of safety in numbers, and for your grandfather, it may be being one of two beats being one alone.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I have always wanted to go to Bermuda, and my boyfriend has booked a trip there to celebrate our third anniversary together.

What I don’t like about the plan is it just happens to be where he and his ex-wife also had their honeymoon, and he has often told me about what a great time they had there.

My sister and a couple of my friends think this is more than a vacation, and that my boyfriend will propose to me while we are there. I’m ready for the proposal, but am also weirded out and annoyed by his picking the same place where he and his ex-wife spent their honeymoon.

Am I being weird, or is he? I am also a little disappointed he couldn’t be more creative in his planning. --- ANYPLACE BUT BERMUDA

DEAR ANYPLACE BUT BERMUDA: I see why your boyfriend’s choice feels a bit off, but he might have valid, completely non-sentimental reasons for picking his former honeymoon destination to spend special time with you.

While it may show a lack of imagination or an unwillingness to investigate other vacation venues, returning to a previously visited destination has some advantages.

For one thing, you said you’ve always wanted to go to Bermuda, and it happens to be an island your boyfriend’s presumably familiar with, even if his last visit was several years ago. There’s something to be said for having a travel companion with even a basic knowledge of a location completely new to you. In this case your boyfriend could act as an amateur tour guide. It’s possible he can save time and money by tailoring your get-away to your specific interests and budget.

Still, to set your mind at ease, or conversely to validate your worries, I think it’d be a good idea to have an open discussion with him about why he picked Bermuda, and why you’re not comfortable with his having chosen it. If an engagement is imminent, you two should already know how to successfully communicate if you hope to have a healthy marriage.