DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Back when we were starting out, my in-laws very generously “loaned” us some money for the down payment on our first home.

After we made less than half the payments on the loan, which we did faithfully, my father-in-law sent us a letter signed by him and my mother-in-law saying our debt was paid in full. We were pleasantly surprised and used to talk about how we would like to do the same for our kids, if we were financially able to, when it was their time to become homeowners.

Both our daughters are now in homes they bought, one on her own, the other with her then fiancé, now husband. We were happy to be able to help them out with the down payments, and now after a couple of years of their making payments, I want to return the kindness given my husband and me by forgiving the rest of the loans.

We can easily afford to do this, and I see it as a way to repay a debt to and honor the memory of those no longer with us.

My husband doesn’t agree with me, and thinks it’s a life lesson in always paying your debts in full.

I am honestly very upset with him for forgetting the promise we made to ourselves all those years ago in appreciation of his parents’ kindness and generosity.

We’re looking for some kind of compromise here. Can you think of any? --- GOOD WITH FORGIVING THE DEBTS

DEAR GOOD WITH FORGIVING THE DEBTS: Since your children have been repaying their loans, it seems to me they’re already demonstrating a good level of responsibility, so I’m not sure they necessarily need a lesson in that area.

What I’d suggest running by your husband is to consider having them continue repaying their loans, and setting up savings accounts for each household where you can deposit at least some of the repayments. These accounts could then be gifted to your children at a future point, either as part of an inheritance or an outright gift.

If you decide to move forward with this or a similar plan, it’d be a good idea to check into the best way to do this to ensure there are either no or minimal tax ramifications for you or your children. A qualified, knowledgeable accountant, financial planner, or bank officer should be able to help advise you with that.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: When my husband was still a kid he found out he is color blind. He sees color, as he explains it, just not the way non-color blind people do. If I show him something that’s green or red, he knows which is which, but they are not the way I see them.

Because of his color-deficient vision I can’t let him go clothes shopping by himself because what he thinks is fine can be anything but, and he is not allowed a say in the paint colors I pick for our home.

He says this means I’m trying to be controlling and treating him like a child, but I just have an idea of how I want my house to look and I don’t want him to be embarrassed if he dresses in a weird ensemble.

Does this make me controlling, or just concerned? --- NOT COLOR BLIND

DEAR NOT COLOR BLIND: Giving your husband an equal say in his environment and how he dresses is a sign of respect and support. Even though he isn’t able to see colors the same way you do, he’s a grown man with ideas of how he wants to dress and how his home looks and feels to him.

If he turns to you for guidance, that’s one thing. However, your insistence on you both living by your opinions and tastes exclusively indicates an unbalanced, unhealthy relationship to me.

A little give and take and a whole lot of respect are the backbones of a successful marriage. Without them, it’s not difficult to see why your husband’s feeling like his opinions don’t matter at all if they conflict with yours.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I have always been big into hiking, camping, hunting, and fishing. My girlfriend sort of tolerates doing some of these things, especially the hiking, but for the most part, she would much, much rather be shopping, binging shows and movies, or just hanging out with her friends, or going out to different kinds of restaurants, which I’m into doing too.

This summer I want to hit Yellowstone NP for a week. I went there with my family when I was a teenager, and remember there was a lot to see and plenty of easy trails.

I already booked the famous Old Faithful Inn late last year to make it as comfortable and special as possible for my girlfriend. If it were up to me, we would have camped, but I want to make sure she’ll be more open to the trip.

I want to propose during the trip. I want it to be a surprise, but I do not want the surprise to be she wants no part of the trip. Last year, when I booked a long weekend at a cabin in a state park, she said no way, and I ended up going with my brother and his wife.

How do I make sure my girlfriend will go with me on this trip, which means so much to me? --- NEED HER TO GO WITH ME

DEAR NEED HER TO GO WITH ME: I think you were smart to book nice accommodations, with all the conveniences, rather than risk your girlfriend’s turning you down due to her dislike of roughing it.

Having also once visited Yellowstone, I too recall the large variety of things to explore and easy trails to take to get to the highlights; and once you get away from the hottest tourist attractions in the park, there’s beautiful scenery galore that fewer people venture out to enjoy.

Perhaps these are some of the arguments you can make to convince your girlfriend that this’ll not be exactly a backcountry hike, but rather, truly a walk in the park.

To reinforce your claim, maybe you could encourage her to check out the park, it’s surroundings, and the inn online for herself. Hopefully, she’ll realize there’s something to appeal to most varieties of visitors at and around Yellowstone.

To sweeten the pot, you might offer a quid pro quo in the form of promising to let her pick your next couples adventure. If she’s willing to explore the sulfur springs with you, then a visit to her favorite shopping venue is the least you can do in my book.