DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I do not get to see my biological grandfather (my mother’s father) very often, and that is fine by me. He and my grandmother divorced when my mother was real little, and she was raised more by my step-grandpa, who is one of my most favorite people in the world. He is gentle and quiet, and has so much patience, even when all nine of us grandkids are around his and my grandma’s house or at other places where the family gets together.

So far I spent part of three summer vacations and one Christmas one with my biological grandfather. Every time my brother and I have been around him, he has cursed — a lot — and gets mad at us for everything we do that he does not like. He dresses like a biker (that is what my mom says), drinks a lot of beer, and smokes cigarettes and smelly cigars.

I really hate when we have to be around him, but my mom says since we are his grandkids, he has a right to get to spend some time with us too. I do not know if she even loves him very much, but she always does what she thinks is right. That is just how she was raised and how she is raising us.

My step-grandpa is such a sweetie, how could my grandmother EVER marry someone like our “real” grandfather? --- PREFER MY STEP-GRANDPA

DEAR PREFER MY STEP-GRANDPA: Your grandmother was young once, and perhaps had a very different idea of the right man for her when she met and married her first husband. Whatever the circumstances of their parting, it sounds like she found someone who made her happier in the long-run, and is a good father and grandfather.

Although you find the time you spend with your biological grandfather less than pleasant, it might just be providing you with some very important skills.

You’ll encounter all sorts of people throughout your life, and some of them, including the most difficult, will help you understand and relate better to others you meet along the way.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: For the past two years our son has insisted on letting his own “tax guy” prepare his taxes.

This “tax guy” is someone he knows from work, who put in one season at one of those storefront tax prep chains, and who thinks he’s a tax prep expert.

The guy only charges our son a couple cases of beer, and for both years he did our son’s taxes our son ended up owing both federal and state taxes, which may have nothing to do with the preparation, but you have to wonder.

We offered to set our son up with our CPA, and even to cover her fee, but he stubbornly wants to stay with the guy who may have cost him much more than the price of some beer.

How do we get our son to go with a pro, especially since it won’t cost him anything, and will maybe even save him some money? --- FRIEND’S NO ACCOUNTANT

DEAR FRIEND’S NO ACCOUNTANT: As you allow, the buddy may not be the reason your son’s owed on his taxes two years running. It’s possible the fault lies not with the preparer, but with how your son’s set up his payroll deductions and/or estimated taxes. Granted, a properly qualified tax preparer should be able to help counsel your son on necessary adjustments; but as he’s run into a shortfall twice in a row, it’s on your son to do what he needs to in order to avoid this happening again. I’m guessing there’s a chance he was hit with an underpayment penalty; but like some people, he could be thinking that he’d rather pay what he owes once and have a little extra money each paycheck throughout the year, even though the underpayment ends up costing him.

You’ve made your offer to cover the price of a CPA. Now it’s entirely up to your son to decide if he wants to accept it or not.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Part of my A.A. recovery program is to attempt to make amends to and ask forgiveness from those I have hurt along the way because of my addiction.

It has been one of the most painful parts of the process, but I have been able to take steps towards undoing some of the damage I did with many of the key people in my life.

The one main exception is a super good friend I have had since we were little kids. At first he stuck with me through the earlier stages of my addiction and tried to help me beat it. After I did some s###ty stuff to him, some of which I only vaguely remember, he cut me off, which I completely get. What hurts now is how he has decided he cannot and never will forgive me for some of what I did before I began my recovery.

How do I get through to him that I am working hard to keep my alcoholism at bay, and want him to be part of my life again? --- TRYING TO DO THE RIGHT THING

DEAR TRYING TO DO THE RIGHT THING: I applaud and support your efforts to recover and take control of your addiction. But it might not be reasonable to expect all those who suffered as a result of your previous actions and behaviors to be able to forgive you. It could come in time, or it may never happen at all.

This doesn’t mean your old friend no longer has feelings for you, even though he isn’t currently ready or able to accept your apology.

Perhaps eventually, you can try to reach out to him again. In the meanwhile keep on your better path, and appreciate all the support you currently have on your journey, and all the progress you’ve already made.