DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: We’ve lived in our town for seven years, and in all that time, whenever we pass a man who lives near the end of our street, the best we get is a glaring stare from him. I continue to at least make an attempt at being pleasant, but it is as if this man looks right through me.

I was raised in a small town like the one we now live in, and I never encountered anyone like this man. It kind of sours my walks when he is out and about and does his ignoring me thing.

Is it worth the effort to try and make some kind of at least cordial connection with him? --- WORTH THE EFFORT?

DEAR WORTH THE EFFORT?: While it doesn’t seem likely that you’ll make much progress if you haven’t made any in seven years, I think it comes down to doing what you feel you need to do. Personally, I’d continue to acknowledge the neighbor, but just not generally expect to get anything in return.

I try to remind myself in such cases that you never fully know what’s going on in someone’s mind or life; and your neighbor, like the rest of us, is looking at and living in the world guided by his own unique perspective.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I work for a company that provides before and after school care, tutoring, and full day coverage on days when the schools are closed. I love the work and the kids, and because I have a BS in education, I make almost $27 an hour for the before and after tutoring and just under $17 an hour for straight childcare coverage on non-school days. But the job doesn’t have any benefits. Fortunately, I have health insurance through my parents for now, but I don’t get any paid vacation or sick time, and this is a job where the kids are guaranteed to get you sick at least two or three times in the year. Also, the time off I do get is based on the company’s scheduled annual closings, which doesn’t coincide with when I need to take time off.

I realize I’m in a much better place than many people, just by looking at how most of my friends, also a year out of school are doing. There are six of us on staff, and we want to approach our boss, who works for the parent corporation, about offering benefits. All of us love the job, but need to know we can have some PTO, like a lot of other childcare companies offer, and maybe even affordable medical insurance. We found out the only other company in the area offering the same services, other than regular daycares, offers PTO, but they pay a lot less per hour.

Would we be messing up a good thing pushing our boss for what seems to us like basic benefits? If it backfires, we could all be looking for new jobs, and I doubt we would find jobs that pay as well. --- NERVOUS TO ASK

DEAR NERVOUS TO ASK: When you and your coworkers agreed to take jobs with the company, you knew how your time off would be structured and that you wouldn’t be paid for the days you don’t work. Those were terms you accepted when you were hired. And, based on the experiences of people I know in various aspects of childcare, PTO and medical insurance aren’t provided by all employers.

Before approaching your boss about the possibility of adding benefits, I recommend you and your fellow staff members do more research into how a few other, similar companies compensate their staff.

As you’ve already seen from your company’s competitor in town, there can be tradeoffs, such as lower base pay, but paid time off, which may work better for some people. Also bear in mind the perks you already have, such as what you consider generous hourly rates.

If you do decide to speak with your boss after you’ve investigated other companies’ practices, I think the wisest strategy might be to present it as a general inquiry about potential future updates in corporate policy, rather than making it sound as if you’re demanding changes or offering ultimatums. You may not get an answer you like, but the right approach is more likely to at least yield a response that’ll help you decide how each of you feels about staying long-term with your current employer.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I grew up in a tight family, and I thought my sister and I were always treated fairly. Now we heard from our parents that they have had their wills done and have decided to leave the family home to my older sister and whatever cash assets are left to me.

This may not seem like a big deal, but the house is worth a lot more money than any savings my parents have, especially when you think how they may need to pay for medical expenses and long-term care, and things like that if anything happens to them down the road. My sister will still have something, and I will probably get a little, if any, cash.

Why would any parents do this? Doesn’t it seem unfair? --- NOT A FAIR DEAL

DEAR NOT A FAIR DEAL: Have you spoken to your parents about this arrangement? It’s possible there’s more fairness involved than you’re aware of. There could be retirement funds, life insurance, or other assets, which when combined, stack up favorably against the value of your parents’ home.

You’ve already considered the chance of medical expenses for your parents as they age chipping away at their savings, but the equity in their home is another potential asset that may be needed by them at some point in the future. So your sister’s eventual inheritance might not be as valuable as it currently appears.

I hope you’re able to make peace with this situation now, while your family is still intact. I’ve seen too many families torn up by issues like this, and often the damage could have been avoided if everyone took the time to try and understand the whole picture, rather than just their part of it.