DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I am proud of my husband’s commitment to his community. He coaches little league baseball and football, volunteers at the homeless shelter, and is on two committees at our church.
It’s wonderful knowing what a good guy I’m married to, but sometimes it can be a little bit lonely with him gone so much of the time between working and volunteering. He encourages me to get more involved, but I have social anxiety issues, and find it easier to keep myself busy at home or with a few family members and old friends. But that pool is getting smaller.
Do you think I ought to tell him just how lonely I am, especially since my parents retired and moved away and my old friends are all getting understandably wrapped up in their families’ lives? --- MISS HAVING TIME WITH MY HUSBAND
DEAR MISS HAVING TIME WITH MY HUSBAND: I think it’s fair to say that in the case of you and your husband, opposites attracted. And yes, you most certainly need to let him know how you’re feeling, especially with the recent changes within your usual local social network.
You used the word “our” to describe the church where your husband serves on two committees. Is it possible for you to join at least one of those committees, if it would be easier on your anxiety to be where your husband also is? It could be a way for you to get to know some fellow parishioners on a smaller scale, and perhaps become involved, even if it’s behind-the-scenes on a few projects that will serve the dual purposes of helping you connect with a wider range of people and giving you the satisfaction of doing some good for the church or larger community.