DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: One of my friends from work has got a harsh edge to her approach with most people. For whatever reason, she doesn’t come off that way to or with me. But she just told me how she blew up another new relationship with someone when she got all hypercritical about something the new girlfriend said. It wasn’t the first time she picked the woman apart, and given her track record, this time, the girlfriend stuck around longer than most of the others I’ve known my friend to date.

How do I help her tone down her critical ways? Maybe she’s insecure or something, and that causes her to be so harsh to other people. --- MY FRIEND’S HARD TO TAKE

DEAR MY FRIEND’S HARD TO TAKE: My experience with overcritical people is that they’re dealing with their own insecurities and tend to have unrealistically high expectations of those they’re attracted to, causing them to be easily disappointed.

Since you have her ear, for now at least, perhaps you could help her by encouraging her to stand back from her myopic dissections of others and to focus instead on what they do right in her view, rather than what she judges them to be lacking in or wrong about.

Be prepared, however, to possibly fall from her favor if she perceives you’ve crossed one of her deeply drawn lines. She may need more help than you can offer to change the way she deals with other people.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Our neighbor buys old cars and junkers, works on them, and then resells them. That’s how he makes a living. If the cars always just came and went, I wouldn’t have a problem with it, but sometimes the junkheaps hang around for weeks and months.

We want to put our house on the market before our second child is born this fall, but we also know the value of our home will be hurt by our neighbor’s mini-junkyard. We have kind of mentioned how we feel to him, and even though he is a good guy, he either didn’t or wouldn’t take the hint.

We live in an older neighborhood, so there isn’t any homeowners association to complain to. Our neighbor is active in local politics, so everyone seems to know him and is happy to look the other way, from what we have been told by at least two city workers, one of them in the zoning office, which we had called to see if there was anything in the codes about having multiple cars in undriveable states in our neighborhood. Seems there are no such laws prohibiting our neighbor’s collection.

Our realtor keeps telling us we have to do something, but what can we do? --- FRED’S AND LAMONT’S NEIGHBOR

DEAR FRED’S AND LAMONT’S NEIGHBOR: These are the types of things that a good realtor aught to be able to work with you to investigate and hopefully resolve. They should be familiar with zoning and other codes regulating the communities where they represent sellers and buyers, and help advocate for you throughout the selling process.

In the case of your well-connected neighbor, while there may be no laws regulating the number of vehicles parked on private property, it’s still possible he’s running a small business where one isn’t permitted. That might give you some leverage in having him at least reduce the number of unsightly cars in his driveway.

If it turns out you’re in a mixed-use zone, while you’re limited in what you’re able to do about your neighbor, you could change your focus to targeting buyers who are interested in also taking advantage of operating a business from their home.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Late last year my company responded to a huge RFP (request for proposal) for the biggest government contract we ever competed on. The RFP process was intense, requiring the team assigned to it to work incredibly long hours for nearly two solid weeks straight. The good news was we won the bid over some stiff competition.

As a reward for our hard work, our big boss gave everyone on the team a generous cash bonus, and gift cards tailored to each of us for something he thought we would most enjoy. One guy got a round of golf at a PGA course near us, one woman a cabin rental at a state park she and her husband like to take their kids to, and someone else who loves to cook got a hefty gift card for his favorite specialty grocery store. Mine was a full-service package at a day spa I’ve been talking about since they opened.

When I told my parents about the personalized bonuses, they thought my boss’s choice for me was a little weird, and maybe a little too personal. I don’t see how. It isn’t like he got me a gift card for Victoria’s Secret FFS. He knows I have been wanting to go to this spa and I think it was nice of him to pick something I could really enjoy. My dad, especially, thinks this is some kind of move by my boss, who is a very married guy, and in whom I have no interest at all.

Are my parents being the weird ones, or am I missing something here? --- WHY BE SUSPICIOUS

DEAR WHY BE SUSPICIOUS: It’s not weird for parents to be concerned about their kids, no matter how old those kids are. It seems, given the last part of your question, that perhaps you have at least considered the possibility that there could be something to their worries.

However, it sounds like your boss clearly made an effort to tailor the rewards to the interests of each team member; and if he hasn’t said or done anything to make you feel uncomfortable about the nature of his pick for you, and if its cost is comparable in monetary value to what the other members of your team received, it seems unlikely to me that there are any strings attached to this particular gift of gratitude.