DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: This year will be the first time we’ll be able to take a vacation since we took our oldest son to visit my parents in Wisconsin four years ago when he was almost one. Since then we’ve had a second baby boy, who is now nearly three.

This year my wife wants to take our boys with us when we go to visit some college friends in Savannah, where neither of us has ever yet been. Our friends want to take us around to some clubs and blackwater kayaking, and other kinds of things that are not at all for young kids like ours, which means we’d have to find a sitter down there for them, and I don’t think my wife realizes that as clearly as she should.

My mother-in-law has already said she would be very happy to take her grandkids for the whole week, but my wife is resisting.

We both really need this time away from all the usual routines. I work from home half the time, and my wife is home fulltime taking care of the boys.

What can I do to convince her we can have a perfectly good vacation without the kids in tow? --- LEAVE THEM HOME

DEAR LEAVE THEM HOME: I’m able to empathize with your wife’s reluctance to leave your children behind for the first time. In her case, it’s probably particularly difficult because she’s usually with them all day long.

Maybe you and her mother can sell the week away for you two as a chance for the kids to have their own vacation at Camp Grandma. It might tip the balance in convincing your wife if she knows that not only will your children be in good and loving hands, but that they’ll have a few fun adventures of their own, while you and she take advantage of an opportunity to recharge and refresh yourselves, which generally is to everyone’s advantage in the long run.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Our daughter and son-in-law are putting in an above-ground pool in their backyard for their kids this summer. They talked about it last year, but thought the kids were still too young. I think they’re still too young this year. They are three and five, and both extremely active boys, who like to climb and jump, and do all the things boys their age love doing.

The last time I raised my worries about the pool with our daughter, she took my head off, saying did I think she and her husband were stupid and hadn’t thought everything through? She made sure she reminded me about how we had a four-foot-above-ground pool when she was growing up and nobody got hurt.

I know she’s right about that, but we were so careful, took all the precautions we could, and for all that, I was still nervous having it in the backyard all summer long.

I feel bad about fighting with our daughter, but how do I get over my fears for our grandsons’ and their friends’ safety? --- NOT LOVING THIS POOL IDEA

DEAR NOT LOVING THIS POOL IDEA: It’s not difficult to understand why your daughter was upset over your reaction to the pool they’re planning to put up. She may have felt you have little confidence in her and her husband’s ability to keep their children safe, and that’s going to hurt any parent.

You’ve had your say, and now it’s time to try and put your fears on the back burner and your faith in your daughter’s and son-in-law’s desire and need to keep your grandchildren safe. There are many measures, some of which are legally required in most states that can and should be taken to make the pool a safe and fun adventure for the whole family.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: The last time I visited home I stayed with my grandmother for a weekend. She retired a few years ago and except for starting to spend more time with her old friends and our family, she is glued to the Home Shopping Network. She won’t order anything online, but does all her buying from the shows, which is the first thing that seems odd to me. The other thing is she just keeps buying mostly what looks to me like cheesy jewelry and home decor she really doesn’t need.

I know she is good at sticking to a budget, and she told me she ends up giving away a lot of what she gets after she’s done with it or doesn’t want it anymore, but what drives someone to just keep buying and buying? --- GRANDMA LIKES TO SHOP

DEAR GRANDMA LIKES TO SHOP: Shopping is something of a hobby for many people. Unless it leads to debt or hoarding behavior, it isn’t necessarily a bad or dangerous thing.

From what you said, your grandmother isn’t displaying classic symptoms of a shopping addiction. It sounds like she buys, enjoys, and then moves things along, which to me smacks more of her having a little fun than raising any red flags.