DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Our daughter and son-in-law are putting in an above-ground pool in their backyard for their kids this summer. They talked about it last year, but thought the kids were still too young. I think they’re still too young this year. They are three and five, and both extremely active boys, who like to climb and jump, and do all the things boys their age love doing.
The last time I raised my worries about the pool with our daughter, she took my head off, saying did I think she and her husband were stupid and hadn’t thought everything through? She made sure she reminded me about how we had a four-foot-above-ground pool when she was growing up and nobody got hurt.
I know she’s right about that, but we were so careful, took all the precautions we could, and for all that, I was still nervous having it in the backyard all summer long.
I feel bad about fighting with our daughter, but how do I get over my fears for our grandsons’ and their friends’ safety? --- NOT LOVING THIS POOL IDEA
DEAR NOT LOVING THIS POOL IDEA: It’s not difficult to understand why your daughter was upset over your reaction to the pool they’re planning to put up. She may have felt you have little confidence in her and her husband’s ability to keep their children safe, and that’s going to hurt any parent.
You’ve had your say, and now it’s time to try and put your fears on the back burner and your faith in your daughter’s and son-in-law’s desire and need to keep your grandchildren safe. There are many measures, some of which are legally required in most states that can and should be taken to make the pool a safe and fun adventure for the whole family.