DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My father remarried nearly 12 years after he and my mom split. Mom has been married to my stepfather since a couple years after the divorce. I get along great with my stepfather, but my stepmother is one of those women who likes to pick, pick, pick. She does it to her own kids, so no surprise she does it to my brother and me.
I really don’t care much what she says. But what gets me is that my dad agrees with whatever she says. It’s like he’s become her puppet.
He never had any trouble standing up to our mom, which is what I remember most about when they were still married. They fought a lot. Now, he’s a mouse, and it drives me nuts.
My brother says to just ignore it, but I swear to God, the next time he follows her two cents with his own, which just so happens to be the exact same as hers, I might just explode. I feel like he’s become a poser to keep her happy.
Should I tell him how I feel, or do what my brother does, and just let it go? --- MY DAD’S A MOUSE
DEAR MY DAD’S A MOUSE: Keep in mind that your parents’ relationship didn’t last for possibly any number of reasons. If the fighting you remember was one cause of your parents’ breakup, your father could now be approaching his second marriage in a different light, and most likely as a somewhat different person.
I doubt having a showdown with your father would do much good. However, having a calm, polite, private discussion with him about how you feel is one way to clear the air for you and give your father a heads-up that you’re not as comfortable around him and his wife as he may think. You might discover that he honestly agrees with what your stepmother is saying, and not just going along with her to keep the peace.