DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: An older man and his dog moved into my building a few weeks ago. His little terrier is more like a terror! Whenever the dog is in the community dog park, he chases and snarls at any other dogs, and a couple times one of the other dogs has reacted as dogs will do. Then the man gets all crazy that the owners of the other dogs can’t control their “beasts” and that they shouldn’t be allowed to have their dogs around other pets, and stuff like that. He has even put in official complaints to the management company about animals and owners who have been here for years and NEVER had any problems.

I don’t personally have a dog, but my daughter and I like to include a stop near the dog park when we go out for walks so she can see the “doggies.” We were there when one of the dog fights almost broke out, and the old guy was yelling and the woman with the other dog was in tears. It was horrible and really scared my daughter.

Now more of my neighbors with dogs have given up using the dog park out of concern that the man with the terrier will show up and cause trouble.

Why do people with dogs they know can’t get along with other dogs insist on putting them in the same place as those other dogs? --- DON’T GET IT

DEAR DON’T GET IT: Sometimes dog owners are like those parents who, no matter how poorly behaved their children are, think their kids are pillars of perfection in an imperfect world. My guess is your neighbor with the terrier is that kind of owner.

I’m hoping for the sake of the rest of the dog park users that the management company, HOA, or whatever organization governs the use of the park will take note that the newcomers appear to be the problem and work toward a solution before an owner or pet gets seriously injured — or worse.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My girlfriend’s family has a history of Tay-Sachs disease. Her mother lost a baby brother and a cousin to it. I have asked my girlfriend to marry me twice now, and she has told me she will not marry me because she knows I want kids and she has no intention of having them because she knows she is a carrier.

I too have been screened, and I am not a carrier, but that doesn’t seem to make a difference to her because she is so terrified of losing a child to the disease or of passing it onto a future generation, which I understand. But I have told her over and over that I am fine with adopting children down the road, if having kids of our own isn’t right for her. She pushes back at even that idea because she believes I am just saying that and that I will be miserable if I don’t have kids of my own, which I can honestly say isn’t the case.

I love this woman and want to spend the rest of my life with her, but how do I convince her I’m good with not having kids of my own? --- WANT TO BE WITH HER

DEAR WANT TO BE WITH HER: Given her mother’s experience, your girlfriend’s heightened awareness of her family’s vulnerability to the dangers of a genetically transmitted disease is completely understandable. She may have decided at a young age that having her own babies wasn’t something she wants to do, even with a man who isn’t a carrier. So you may need to give her some more time and consistent reassurance to accept that you want her more than you want your own biological children.

Something to bear in mind is that there could be other issues at work here beyond her fear of transmitting a devastatingly dangerous disease. She’s possibly struggling with commitment at this point in her life for multiple reasons, and her concern that you’ll be unhappy without babies of your own might be only one part of her reluctance to marry you.

Keeping communications open and honest, and really listening to what she tells you are keys to whether or not you have a future together.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Our daughter was honorably discharged from the Air Force after 12 years of service. For years now, she kept telling us she planned to return to our area with her two little ones and her husband, whom she met while she was in. At nearly the last minute, her husband decided to stay in for another enlistment, which means they’ll be God knows where for at least another 6 years. I know they’re thrilled about the bonus, but it’s disappointing to us because, among other things, we began the process of retiring so we could be available to help with their move and the kids. We also told friends and family that they were coming, and now we have to break the news that it isn’t the case.

I am trying not to be disappointed, but we’re not getting any younger, and were really counting on this time with our daughter and her family.

I suppose I am being selfish, but should I feel guilty about wishing they had come as promised? --- DISAPPOINTED

DEAR DISAPPOINTED: It’s not unreasonable to feel letdown, but this is an opening for you to make some alternate plans for your retirement.

Perhaps you can get in some good visits to your daughter and her family; and you can certainly look forward to being more available to them when they come your way than you would’ve been if you were still working your regular jobs.

Now that you’ll have more time on your hands than you originally anticipated, it may be possible for you and your husband to find low-stress post-retirement jobs or satisfying volunteer work to fill the void created by your daughter’s family’s change of plans.