DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My mother walked out on my father, sister, and me when I was seven years old. Since then, she had next to nothing to do with us. When my sister got married, she invited our mother, but she and her new husband didn’t want to leave their children to come. Ditto when I got married.
Now we are expecting our first child, and my wife is all, “Let’s make peace with your mom,” which I don’t have any real interest in doing. But it seems like a big deal to my wife, who wants to invite her to her baby shower when the time comes in a couple of months.
Personally, I have no interest in reconnecting with the woman who turned her back on me and the rest of her family. Why should I reach out to her now? --- GOOD WITHOUT HER
DEAR GOOD WITHOUT HER: If it means a lot to your wife to extend this invitation, why not let her? People may not always change, but often our priorities do.
Worst case, your mom turns it down, and nothing’s lost that didn’t go missing a long time ago. Better case, she accepts, and your wife gets to know her mother-in-law a little bit. Best case, there’s a touch of peace made between you and your mom; and even though she may still keep her distance, the effort made on all sides might just pay off in time.