DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My daughter and her husband just bought a fixer-upper about an hour from where my wife and I live. My son-in-law is pretty handy, but not nearly as experienced with home repairs as his father and I am. We have both basically rebuilt the homes we currently live in, so we know a thing or two about how best to get things done.

Nearly every week, the kids ask either me or the other dad about the best way to go about a repair or renovation. Most of what they’re tackling isn’t all that hard to do, but it seems like whatever we tell them — and the other dad and I usually agree on how to do a thing — the kids go ahead and do whatever they want anyway.

It makes me think my daughter and son-in-law are just trying to make the “old guys” feel good, but it doesn’t feel good to be ignored.

So do we just stop giving advice, or keep going on with what seems like it’s becoming a game? --- DOESN’T MATTER IF DAD KNOWS BEST

DEAR DOESN’T MATTER IF DAD KNOWS BEST: Maybe your daughter and son-in-law are just products of the times. You and your son-in-law’s dad have become two more resources which they can consult, then continue to collect lots of other opinions and data on-line and elsewhere, and go from there.

I don’t think either of you should take it personally. At least your daughter and son-in-law are consulting you, and that helps keep you all connected.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My older sister has dated a few really nice guys, but even if they’re cruds, she gives up all her interests and a lot of her own social life for whoever she’s with.

Sometimes that can be hurtful to the rest of the people in her life. I know my dad was hurt by her not helping him out during his post-surgical rehab because she was so busy helping her then-boyfriend launch his new business.

She did the same kind of thing to our mother, who had a really hard time when our grandmother passed, and our mother kept reaching out to my sister to just come and keep her company. At that time, my sister was living with a guy who was big into sports, and they spent most weekends chasing his favorite teams during a really dark winter for our mom.

She’s stood me and her friends up, dropped her own interests to become obsessed with whatever the guy of the hour is into, and just in general becomes invisible with each relationship.

I love my sister, and hate seeing how she is when things end with a guy, but I also want her to understand there are more people in the world counting on her and caring about her than just the guy she’s with at the time.

How do I do that? --- SISTER OF THE INVISIBLE GIRLFRIEND

DEAR SISTER OF THE INVISIBLE GIRLFRIEND: While I see it as healthy in a relationship for both parties to take some interest in each other’s pursuits, I agree with you that when one of the parties completely loses themselves, it’s ultimately not good for the relationship, the people in it, or those close to the couple.

It might help if the people who count on her and keep getting let down go beyond asking for her help. She needs to directly and clearly hear how much her not being there for them hurts. If it comes from both family members and her closest friends, and if she hears it enough, maybe she’ll start stepping in and showing up when she’s needed.

Otherwise, in her love-blinded state, she’ll most likely continue to take it for granted that all’s well with the world outside her happy little bubble.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My son met a woman who started working as a cashier at the pharmacy where he’s an assistant manager. She is the divorced mother of two tweens, and my son just turned 23. He has been in two longer-term relationships, and both of his former girlfriends ended things after over a year together. I think if that hadn’t been the case, he would have been married by now.

I have met his new girlfriend and she seems like a nice person. I also feel my son is a good judge of character. But I worry about him stepping into a ready-made family, with kids not that much younger than he is. There is also the ex-husband, who from what he’s heard, is still very involved in his kids’ lives.

I think it’s a lot for my son to take on, and often wonder if I should say something to him about my feelings. It would not be about his girlfriend, but just her situation in life versus his. Or, do I continue keeping my worries to myself? --- MOM ON THE FENCE

DEAR MOM ON THE FENCE: You state that your son’s a good judge of character. That and the fact that at a fairly young age he’s been put in a management role, albeit a junior one, suggest to me he may be more mature than many of his peers.

Even if you had less reason to have faith in your son’s judgement, I’m not sure anything would be gained by sharing your concerns with him about his new relationship. Time will tell if this one’s a keeper, and it’s ultimately up to him and his new girlfriend to decide if they can make it work, especially with her children as part of the picture.