DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I have been seeing someone for the past few weeks and things seemed to be going well until I found a gun locked up in his closet when he asked me to get something down from the top shelf. He told me it’s registered, has a gun lock on it, and he has taken firearm safety training.

That’s all good, I suppose, but it still makes me feel uneasy, and I told him I won’t let my three-year-old daughter come over to his place as long as the gun is there.

Am I overreacting? --- DON’T LIKE GUNS

DEAR DON’T LIKE GUNS: For all the precautions your friend appears to be taking to keep the gun safely stowed away, it’s ultimately up to you to do what you believe is in the best interest of your daughter and yourself. If you’re not comfortable spending time with your child at your new friend’s home, why not try finding other places where you can all get to know each other better, and see how things go from there.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I don’t get why my father, who is in his late 50s, wants to get a motorcycle and come the spring, do a cross-country trip. Both his girlfriend and my mom (divorced from my dad for nearly 10 years) are also worried, but my boyfriend, who has his own bike, openly encourages him, and that has caused more than one fight between us.

I honestly think my dad is going through some kind of mid-life crisis. His older brother had a cancer scare last year, and now, it seems like my dad is convinced he is next and will not be so lucky.

I can’t support my dad’s decision on this, and we argue whenever it comes up. I know I could just avoid seeing him for awhile, but we are close and that would be hard on us both.

What argument can we possibly make, other than that we love him and think this is a bad idea, which so far does not seem to be enough to convince him what a bad idea this is? --- DAREDEVIL’S DAUGHTER

DEAR DAREDEVIL’S DAUGHTER: You and some others in his life have already tried to dissuade your dad from his biker dreams.

It seems to me the best tact to take now is to avoid fighting with him about it and see what happens. This could all be a lot of something for nothing, and if it does come to pass, your father is an adult and has the right to make his own decisions, no matter how much you disagree with their soundness.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Both my husband and I come from the New York City area. We and our children moved to South Carolina a few years ago.

Late last year our oldest daughter’s boyfriend asked her to marry him, and she said yes. We’re planning a summer wedding, and our daughter has her heart set on it being a formal affair. We found a venue that will work with us on all the COVID restrictions our state requires. It’s just the kind of elegant setting the bride and groom have in mind, and in keeping with the venue’s atmosphere, they want the guests to dress in formal attire. Our daughter has been working on finding the right way to make this clear on the invitation without coming off as a bridezilla. We’ve lived in this area long enough to know its more casual mindset, which makes for wonderful daily living, but it’s still an adjustment for us Northerners to see that the same casual is the standard for even special occasions.

How can the invitation be worded to avoid offending anyone, but still make it clear we’re planning on this being a dressy event? --- LOOKING FOR FORMAL

DEAR LOOKING FOR FORMAL: Just as it was back in the good old days, it seems not uncommon to include the dress code on a wedding invitation, even in our less formal times. If your daughter prefers to avoid more stringent wording such as the traditional “Formal attire required,” then perhaps the invitation could read something like, “Guests are encouraged to dress in their best,” or the more definitive “Black Tie Preferred,” which would hopefully indicate that guests are expected to err on the side of overdressing.

If the couple has a page on The Knot or another wedding website, some gentle guidance could be included, which might prove especially useful for the younger guests, who are more likely to consult the page leading up to the main event and also perhaps be less knowledgeable about what “black tie” means. They might be relieved to know tuxes or gowns aren’t necessary, but a dark suit or fancy cocktail dress would fit the bill nicely, and be less costly options.

Come the wedding, you may still have some guests show up in more casual attire, but at the end of the day, what counts is the celebration of the start of a new life for a young couple.