life

Dad's Attitude Toward Serious BF Hurts Daughter

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | February 23rd, 2021

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I know my dad is not a fan of my boyfriend, even though we’ve been together nearly three years. We are talking about getting married, once all the pandemic insanity goes away. My dad knows we are serious and probably going to get married within the next two years.

Whenever I talk to my dad, either on the phone or in person, he NEVER asks about my boyfriend. When I visit home with my boyfriend, my dad barely talks to him. He is not openly rude, but it is obvious how he feels about my boyfriend. It is like he thinks if he ignores his existence, he will just go away.

I tell him he is being bratty, and my boyfriend is going to be his son-in-law someday, so he needs to get over it. He never acted like this to my old boyfriend.

What more can I do the get through to my dad that his behavior is not only mean, but is making me think I want to have nothing to do with him if he is going to act like this to the man I want to spend the rest of my life with? --- MY DAD IS BEING A BRAT

DEAR MY DAD IS BEING A BRAT: I agree that your father’s behavior comes off as less than mature. However, you didn’t mention if he’s shared why he apparently dislikes your boyfriend so much. Sometimes, people without emotional attachments see personality elements or behaviors that are obvious to them, but not so much to someone in love. It’s possible your father at least believes he has a reason to dislike your boyfriend, based on something he’s observed, or just good old-fashioned intuition. If you’ve never openly asked your dad why he doesn’t like your guy, it may be time to do so.

Barring any tangible or reasonable observational concerns, it’s possible your father is in the “no man is good enough for my little girl” mental mode. If he never behaved like this in the past, it may be because this time he sees you’ve found your keeper, and is not ready to lose you to another man. If this is the case, time may be your greatest ally if it gives your dad a chance to get used to, and hopefully, eventually accept your choice.

Love & DatingFamily & Parenting
life

Parents Can't Keep Up with On-Again, Off-Again Relationship

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | February 19th, 2021

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My son has been dating a young woman he met at his last job for quite awhile now, well sometimes. They have gotten together, broken up, gotten back together, broken up, and so on, more times than I can count. As a matter of fact, I am not certain I can even call it breaking up, since I am not sure they are a bona fide couple.

Whatever the case, when they’re “together,” she is practically a part of the family, and we happily welcome her. Next thing we know, she is out of the picture, and someone else is stopping by with our son.

I have no desire to pry, but I can see that my wife gets excited at the thought that our son has someone he might be serious about. Then she is disappointed when there is someone different in the picture.

I know my wife is dying to ask our son what the story is with the woman we all like, but I keep telling her to stay out of it. Do you think I am right, or is my wife? --- WHAT, IF ANYTHING, TO DO?

DEAR WHAT, IF ANYTHING, TO DO?: While I fully empathize with your wife’s desire to know what’s happening in your son’s life, I have to side with your non-interference policy.

If your son chooses to let you know about his personal life, that’s one thing. But if he hasn’t volunteered information up to this point, you’re probably better-off letting this sometimes sleeping dog lie.

Family & ParentingLove & Dating
life

Who Gets Cat Custody in Split?

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | February 18th, 2021

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My boyfriend and I lived together for over three years. When we moved in, we each had a cat, and during our time together, we first fostered and then adopted two more cats.

Now that we’ve split, we continue to fight over who gets the cats. We each kept our original cat, but now the two adopted ones are being fought over.

I think since they are siblings they should be kept together. He thinks we should each get one, which I think would be cruel.

I am willing to take both the brother and sister to keep them together, which seems to me to say I am more committed to their happiness than he is.

Don’t you think that’s the right thing to do? --- ANXIOUS CAT PAPA

DEAR ANXIOUS CAT PAPA: I agree with you that keeping the siblings together is a good idea if they’re clearly a team. Perhaps you and your ex could work out a joint custody arrangement, where you each get to have the adopted set live with you for a set period of time.

To get a better idea if such a custody share is in the best interest of the cats, if it’s even on the table, I strongly recommend your consulting with your veterinarian to get some professional feedback on what might be best for the two adopted siblings, especially since if they were fostered, they may have already been through multiple upheavals.

Love & Dating

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