life

Secret Keeper Slips Up

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | February 12th, 2021

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I feel so bad about accidentally letting a secret out to my husband. My sister-in-law and her husband just found out they are going to have a baby, and they wanted to make a grand announcement in a few weeks. They only told me because they wanted to have me help with the announcement, since I do some writing for work and my personal pleasure. My husband came into the room and saw I was playing around with the words “Now Expecting” and he thought I was trying to tell him something about me. I honestly didn’t even think about it, since I was so involved in what I was doing, when I answered, “Of course not. It’s for Sophie.”

I’d like to trust that my husband will honor my request for him to keep the secret to himself, but we’ve already had an argument about how pissed his mom will be when she finds out that I knew before she did.

Do I fess-up and tell my sister-in-law that I slipped, or just let it go, since we’re now getting closer to the official announcement anyway? --- ACCIDENTALLY SPILLED THE BEANS

DEAR ACCIDENTALLY SPILLED THE BEANS: I think a key consideration here is if your husband will honor your sister-in-law’s wishes to let the parents-to-be make the decision about how and when to announce their pregnancy. It isn’t his news to share, and hopefully he understands that.

Let’s say he keeps the secret to himself, whether or not you tell your sister-in-law about your slipup may have more to do with her personality than your need to clear your conscience. I’d weigh the damage done against what would be gained by a confession. If your sister-in-law’s the forgiving type, there may be no harm in letting her know, if she’s not, you might just unnecessarily stir up a hornet’s nest and in either case, lose her confidence in your discretion.

Marriage & Divorce
life

New Husband's Household Habits Disenchant Wife

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | February 11th, 2021

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Before we got married my husband was living in an apartment with two other guys. All the time I spent there, I was impressed at how clean and neat the place was. My then boyfriend’s bedroom could be less than neat, but I figured he was just being a guy.

I didn’t know until after we were married early last year that one of the roommates was a compulsive cleaner and that’s why the apartment always looked so nice in the kitchen, living room, and dining area. Now that it’s just my husband and me, I see he’s either a slob, lazy, or both. I have to pick up after him and am the only one who notices when the bathrooms and kitchen need a good cleaning.

I love him and want to make our marriage work, but he’s got to learn to pitch in some. How do I get him to do that, other than my nagging him, which he seems to never hear? --- MARRIED TO A SLOB

DEAR MARRIED TO A SLOB: I’m guessing your husband has gotten away with not cleaning up after himself for a very long time, which may help feed his immunity to your nagging.

I think it’s time to sit down with him and tell him directly and calmly how the current housekeeping situation is not working for you at all, and that it’s causing you to resent his lack of effort.

Communication is key. In these still early days of marriage, now’s the time to figure out how to best make a true partnership you can both live with.

Marriage & Divorce
life

LW Losing Interest in Going Out of the House

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | February 9th, 2021

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: After months and a holiday season of staying mostly in my home, I am finding it hard to think about getting back out in the world.

My job was always split between my home office and main office, so it wasn’t that big a deal to go remote fulltime. What is beginning to scare me is that I can’t shake how comfortable I have gotten keeping mostly to myself.

I’m young and healthy enough to be on the bottom of the vaccination barrel, but even when I get it, will I be a wuss for still not wanting to go out too much? --- COMFORTABLE AT HOME

DEAR COMFORTABLE AT HOME: Based on how other people I know seem to be feeling, you have a lot of company in your ambivalence about returning to “normal”. So, no, I don’t think you’re at all a wuss.

My guess is you and the rest of us will need time to adjust to a post-COVID-19 world. There’s no doubt some aspects of daily life will be slower than others to get back on a more familiar track; and certainly some things will have changed forever.

It took us awhile to get used to living through the pandemic. Now it will take time for us to adjust to life in what will undoubtedly be a long and sometimes painful recovery.

I see no harm in taking the time you need to be comfortable stepping back out into the world beyond your front door.

COVID-19

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