life

Grieving Boss's Unusual Behavior Raises Red Flags

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | February 4th, 2021

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My boss just lost his wife a few months ago. At first, he took time off to be with his adult kids and his siblings, so we didn’t see much of him for several weeks.

Now that he’s back in the office most days, we all see a change in him, which we would expect, but it isn’t the kind of behavior we thought we would see. He actually seems happier than before the death.

We have talked about it and we wonder if he’s on something or if he’s trying too hard, or someone even suggested he’s relieved his wife is gone. It was a long illness, and it took a lot out of him for years.

We don’t know if we should reach out to one of his kids, if we should say something to him, or if we should just let things play out. Would we be hurting more by doing something or doing nothing? --- WORRIED ABOUT MY BOSS

DEAR WORRIED ABOUT MY BOSS: Any and all of your and your coworkers’ conjectures may be true. Responses to grief are individualized and changeable over time.

I’d keep an eye on him, and think your idea of contacting one of his kids might be a good one if you’re getting a weird vibe. If the upbeat behavior you see is vastly at odds with what his family’s observed, it might give them something to keep a watch on for your boss’s sake.

Work & SchoolMental HealthMarriage & DivorceDeath
life

Son's Growing Frustration with Mother's Vaccine Refusal

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | February 2nd, 2021

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My mother has already had one heart bypass surgery. She just turned 67, still works as an elementary school secretary, and keeps telling me she will not take the COVID vaccine, even though she is near the top of the priority list.

I have already told her we won’t visit her with our two kids until she gets the shot. Our oldest child and my wife have asthma, and I do not want them jeopardized, especially since we have been meticulous in taking precautions, including running my business exclusively from my home office.

Why is she being so stubborn, and what can we do to convince her the vaccine is the way back to a safer, more normal life? --- SON OF A VACCINE PHOBIC

DEAR SON OF A VACCINE PHOBIC: While I’ve been surprised by some of the people I know who have told me they don’t intend to get vaccinated against COVID-19, I can also understand a little of their hesitancy. We’ve all been through a lot over the last 12 months, and a good part of the ratcheted-up stress factor has been the high volume of both reliable and inaccurate information blasted our way.

Perhaps once more people she knows receive the vaccine, she’ll see the benefits outweigh the dangers for the vast majority of the population. She may also begin to get pressure from the school system where she works, especially if they’re anxious to get the kids back in the classroom if they haven’t returned yet.

Be patient with her, but continue to stress the benefits of the vaccine, especially for her and her family life.

COVID-19Family & ParentingPhysical Health
life

Now Able-bodied Friend Expects Continued Dog Walking

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | January 29th, 2021

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: A good friend of mine’s wife had a baby right before my friend deployed. They have a young dog that they had just about housetrained when he left, so I volunteered to help with the dog walking while she recovered from having the baby (C-section).

That was four months ago, and now my friend’s wife has returned to work, and since I only currently work parttime, she expects that I will drop everything and stop by EVERY DAY to walk the dog while she is at work. Her apartment is about 10 minutes from mine (20 with not unusual traffic), which means I have a 20-40-minute block of time added to the half hour walk I give the dog. To make sure I don’t forget, she texts me to “remind” me when it’s time to drop everything and walk the dog, at the time she thinks is the best for the puppy.

I have hinted that this can’t go on. I expect to be back to work fulltime myself soon, so what am I supposed to do? Give over all my lunch hours to walk someone else’s dog?

Her husband is one of my closest friends, and we have done a lot for each other over the years, but I can’t believe he would want me to go the distance on this one, especially since his tour has just been extended. What do I do to get out from under this situation? --- NOT A PROFESSIONAL DOG WALKER

DEAR NOT A PROFESSIONAL DOG WALKER: It seems you’ve already gone above and beyond in helping your buddy’s wife, and the longer you let the situation continue, the more convinced she may become that you’re okay with it.

While it might soften her disappointment to let her know you’re still around to lend a hand if she needs help from time-to-time until her husband returns, I think you need to level with her. Tell her your schedule will soon no longer permit your daily visits, so she’ll need to make other arrangements. You might suggest she hire a neighborhood kid to take over where you’re leaving off. It won’t be free, but it’ll get you off the hook and give your friend’s wife a connection within her more immediate community. With a growing family, having a potential evening and weekend babysitter — in addition to a reliable dog walker — in her contact list could be an added bonus.

Friends & Neighbors

Next up: More trusted advice from...

  • Does My Girlfriend Want to Be With Me Or Her Ex?
  • How Do I Meet Women I’m Actually Attracted To?
  • How Do I Stop Feeling Threatened By My Girlfriend’s Popularity?
  • A Mutual Salad Treaty
  • Fooling Around With Lemons
  • January Is for Slow-Cooking
  • Astro-Graph for January 28, 2023
  • Astro-Graph for January 27, 2023
  • Astro-Graph for January 26, 2023
UExpressLifeParentingHomePetsHealthAstrologyOdditiesA-Z
AboutContactSubmissionsTerms of ServicePrivacy Policy
©2023 Andrews McMeel Universal