life

Son's Growing Frustration with Mother's Vaccine Refusal

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | February 2nd, 2021

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My mother has already had one heart bypass surgery. She just turned 67, still works as an elementary school secretary, and keeps telling me she will not take the COVID vaccine, even though she is near the top of the priority list.

I have already told her we won’t visit her with our two kids until she gets the shot. Our oldest child and my wife have asthma, and I do not want them jeopardized, especially since we have been meticulous in taking precautions, including running my business exclusively from my home office.

Why is she being so stubborn, and what can we do to convince her the vaccine is the way back to a safer, more normal life? --- SON OF A VACCINE PHOBIC

DEAR SON OF A VACCINE PHOBIC: While I’ve been surprised by some of the people I know who have told me they don’t intend to get vaccinated against COVID-19, I can also understand a little of their hesitancy. We’ve all been through a lot over the last 12 months, and a good part of the ratcheted-up stress factor has been the high volume of both reliable and inaccurate information blasted our way.

Perhaps once more people she knows receive the vaccine, she’ll see the benefits outweigh the dangers for the vast majority of the population. She may also begin to get pressure from the school system where she works, especially if they’re anxious to get the kids back in the classroom if they haven’t returned yet.

Be patient with her, but continue to stress the benefits of the vaccine, especially for her and her family life.

COVID-19Family & ParentingPhysical Health
life

Now Able-bodied Friend Expects Continued Dog Walking

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | January 29th, 2021

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: A good friend of mine’s wife had a baby right before my friend deployed. They have a young dog that they had just about housetrained when he left, so I volunteered to help with the dog walking while she recovered from having the baby (C-section).

That was four months ago, and now my friend’s wife has returned to work, and since I only currently work parttime, she expects that I will drop everything and stop by EVERY DAY to walk the dog while she is at work. Her apartment is about 10 minutes from mine (20 with not unusual traffic), which means I have a 20-40-minute block of time added to the half hour walk I give the dog. To make sure I don’t forget, she texts me to “remind” me when it’s time to drop everything and walk the dog, at the time she thinks is the best for the puppy.

I have hinted that this can’t go on. I expect to be back to work fulltime myself soon, so what am I supposed to do? Give over all my lunch hours to walk someone else’s dog?

Her husband is one of my closest friends, and we have done a lot for each other over the years, but I can’t believe he would want me to go the distance on this one, especially since his tour has just been extended. What do I do to get out from under this situation? --- NOT A PROFESSIONAL DOG WALKER

DEAR NOT A PROFESSIONAL DOG WALKER: It seems you’ve already gone above and beyond in helping your buddy’s wife, and the longer you let the situation continue, the more convinced she may become that you’re okay with it.

While it might soften her disappointment to let her know you’re still around to lend a hand if she needs help from time-to-time until her husband returns, I think you need to level with her. Tell her your schedule will soon no longer permit your daily visits, so she’ll need to make other arrangements. You might suggest she hire a neighborhood kid to take over where you’re leaving off. It won’t be free, but it’ll get you off the hook and give your friend’s wife a connection within her more immediate community. With a growing family, having a potential evening and weekend babysitter — in addition to a reliable dog walker — in her contact list could be an added bonus.

Friends & Neighbors
life

Cigarette Smoke and Odor Make It Tough to Be Around Mom's BF

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | January 28th, 2021

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My mother began dating a man who is, in my opinion, a heavy smoker. My mother does not seem to notice it too much. My dad was a social smoker up until he passed away, so it was not an unusual smell in the house, although he had to smoke outside at home. I could never get used to the smell on his clothes and his breath when he smoked. Now, it’s torture for me to be in the same room with a heavy smoker, even though he too never smokes in the house.

My mom seems to be getting more and more into this new man, and except for the smoking, he seems like a good guy and a good match for my mom.

But how do I handle hanging around with him and my mom when sometimes the smell is so strong it makes me want to gag? --- CAN’T STAND SMOKER’S SMELL

DEAR CAN’T STAND SMOKER’S SMELL: Have you discussed this issue with your mom? By not sharing your situation, and taking into account the health dangers of third-hand smoke, she might come to believe any reluctance to be around them is about her new man, rather than the result of his habit.

While there are techniques and products available to help minimize the lingering odors caused by cigarette and other smoke, they may be of little or no use in this case, since the smell comes with the smoker.

If you’re only visiting your mom and not living in the same house, perhaps you could suggest meeting up with them in either outdoor or more open settings. When you’re all in the same room in the house, if possible, one way you might minimize your discomfort would be to position yourself near a window that can be opened, weather permitting.

Love & DatingHealth & Safety

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