DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I am in trouble with my girlfriend, because I kind of told her grandfather off, because he is always asking all these questions about stuff I do not think is any of his business. She says he is just trying to make conversation and all I am is rude, but she does not get grilled every time we visit my grandparents.

Am I wrong to shut down the inquisition? --- DON’T LIKE TOO MANY QUESTIONS

DEAR DON’T LIKE TOO MANY QUESTIONS: Ticking off your girlfriend’s family, especially a beloved grandparent, is not usually a good idea. What you may consider a third-degree interrogation may very well be, as your girlfriend suggested, Grandpa’s attempt to make a conversational connection with you. He may also be genuinely interested in the man in his granddaughter’s life.

I’d cut him a little slack, and if at any point, the questions become too intrusive, you can politely let him know this isn’t a topic you’re comfortable discussing. Rudeness can usually be avoided with a little filtering and a touch of patience.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My daughter’s older step-brother went into the Air Force through the delayed entry program last fall. We wanted him to finish his associate degree before going into the service, because we found out that he would have a jump on getting ahead.

Now my daughter has been talking to Marine recruiters about going in after she finishes high school next year. She too would be putting in time in the DEP program, but she keeps telling us she has no intention of going on to college before entering the service. She hasn’t enlisted yet, and since she’ll be 18 in January, there is nothing we can do to prevent her from enlisting.

Not only am I worried sick she wants to become a Marine, because they are always the first into any fight, but with no college credits, she will be going in at the lowest rating and will have a long way to go to get anywhere.

What can we say to persuade her that if she is determined to join up, there are some things she can do to make her life better once she is in? --- MOM OF A FUTURE MARINE

DEAR MOM OF A FUTURE MARINE: I’ve known some young people who went into the delayed entry programs of their chosen service. It gives them a taste of military life and helps prepare them for bootcamp, as you’re well aware since you already have a family member who went that route.

While going into the service with some college credits, and especially a degree, can certainly help give recruits a foot up, it’s not the only way to get ahead. Although she may not be thrilled about it, you can go with you daughter to talk to the recruiters and raise your concerns. While they’re the military’s salespeople, you may find the way they respond to a parent is different than you might expect. They can also point you towards resources for military parents, including social media groups that provide discussion forums and perspectives beyond the official line.

Doing some homework on your own may either confirm a few of your fears, or perhaps set your mind a little at ease.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: We were so happy when our son and his wife and their triplets moved back into the area, after a nearly four-year absence. I thought I would finally get to spend some time with our grandkids without having to hop on a plane to see them a couple times a year.

It turns out that now every time our son has a tiff with his dad, which is nearly whenever they spend more than an hour or two together, our son begins to play the “keep the kids away” game. He changes already made plans, saying something has come up with the kids, but never says what it is. He tells his wife that he wants the kids home by a certain time, which happens to be just about when we were supposed to pick them up to take them to a park or for something to eat. This will go on for a week or two, and then everything is fine again, until he and my husband have another fight, and then it starts all over again.

I feel sorry for the kids and their mother, who are, like me, caught in the middle, but honestly, I also feel sorry for myself. I waited a long time to have these chances to be with my grandkids, and now I have to suffer because two grown men can’t get along.

What can I do to make them see this is immature and silly, and not fair to everyone involved? --- JUST WANT TO BE GRANDMA

DEAR JUST WANT TO BE GRANDMA: Maybe it’s time to sit all the adults down and make it clear that, just as you wrote, you find it unfair that everyone gets put on the spot because your son and his dad can’t get along. That should be an entirely separate issue from when you get to be with your grandchildren.

It also might not be a bad idea to limit the time the men are thrown together, at least until they prove they can play nice, especially your son, whose use of the children as pawns smacks of what some divorced couples do when things don’t go their way.