DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: One of my brother’s friends is in construction, and when he heard I needed some help with a fixer-upper I’m buying from a much older second cousin, he offered to help out on a few of the bigger projects. I offered to pay him in cash, but he said he was fine. So long as I paid for all the materials and supplies, he would settle for a pizza and a case of his favorite brew.

The first couple of projects went well. He does good work, at least as far as I can tell, and some other people who have seen it agree.

We just started working on replacing the back deck and are about halfway through. This time, he started with not so hidden suggestions that I could pay him with something much more personal than pizza and beer.

I don’t think he’s a bad guy, and we get along well when we’re working together, but I am most certainly not into him in any other way than as a friend, and a friend of my brother.

He’s currently out of town on a job that will take at least four weeks, and he has promised to finish the deck when he gets back. I’m just not willing to pay his price for it.

I haven’t told my brother about this, because I don’t want it to affect their friendship, but I don’t know what to do about his friend and my unfinished deck. --- NOT THAT KIND OF GIRL

DEAR NOT THAT KIND OF GIRL: Is it possible your brother’s friend was just testing the waters with a little flirtation? If so, then hopefully all he needs is some simple, but firm, redirection.

If, however, you’re certain he means business, then you have to shut it down and find another way to get your deck finished. You have a convenient excuse that you don’t want to go the whole summer without a deck, and ideally since having the earlier work done with minimal expense, you’ve saved enough money to afford to hire a professional to finish the job.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: We have a guy on our shift who always puts in an order with whoever’s doing the drive-thru Starbucks run before our shift starts. He usually “forgets” to pay, and also always seems to manage to get out of taking his turn on the run, using the excuse he has to be in before everyone to take over from the earlier crew and get everything ready for the rest of us.

I’m not the only one of our coworkers who doesn’t buy this excuse. No one has assigned him to be the shift turnover man, and although he only usually gets a regular coffee, whoever does the run is often out the cost of it.

I am inclined to stop taking and filling his order when it comes my turn to make the stop. I know this may come off as being petty, but don’t you think it might teach him a lesson? --- COFFEE RUNNER

DEAR COFFEE RUNNER: It’s possible your coworker thinks he’s already doing his share for the team by starting earlier than everyone else, and so a free cup of coffee serves as one of those unofficial perks.

Seemingly small annoyances like this can build into bigger problems, so facing it down in a polite, relaxed way now might avoid harder feelings later on.

Rather than putting him on the spot in front of everyone, perhaps you should quietly clue him in that the guys are feeling like he’s taking advantage of them; that the problem is — here’s where you get to be magnanimous — you all don’t mind doing the run since he’s so busy, but you do want to get paid for his portion of it.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My wife’s cat, which she had since long before we were married, died in April.

We had a huge fight because I suggested now that the shelter is open for adoptions again, she take a look and maybe adopt a new cat. She misses her old one so much, I thought this would help.

Clearly I was wrong. She called me heartless and a lot of other things. She said I wouldn’t just look to replace a human family member so easily, so why should I think she can replace her best feline friend just like that.

Was I wrong to even suggest she find a new friend to help her feel better about losing the old one? --- IN HOT WATER

DEAR IN HOT WATER: It doesn’t take long for a pet to become an important part of the family. Your wife may feel she’ll never replace the pet she lost, since like with our human companions, the relationships we share with our furry ones are unique.

While your intentions are good, I think you really have to leave it up to your wife to decide when, or if, she’ll be ready to find a new pet.