DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My roommate, “Josh,” is seeing “Ray” since last Halloween, when they met at a party. Josh wanted to take it slow, and they did, until Ray practically moved in around Valentine’s Day, and somehow ended up largely sheltered in place with us throughout the pandemic lockdown.

It isn’t that Ray’s a bad guy, but he likes to think of himself as kind of “unique,” so he does these really odd things, like garnish his meals with foul-smelling “unique” spices, and putting on aftershave that’s a little too exotic for me — as in open the windows immediately exotic. He brought in this weird houseplant that was flown in from an Amazonian rainforest, which is now taking up a quarter of our living room.

I’m usually pretty chill, but I’m beginning to feel like Ray is taking over our home, and not only doesn’t he pay rent, but apparently feels he has the right to help himself to anything we have, including linens, kitchen items, and some toilet paper, which mysteriously went missing at the beginning of the big shortage.

I like and respect Josh, but this guy he’s so hooked on is not so much “unique” as weird, and I don’t like the way he’s edging further and further into our home. I want to say something to Josh, but don’t want to upset him. Any suggestions? --- NOT LOVING UNIQUE

DEAR NOT LOVING UNIQUE: It’s a delicate balance between being tolerant and being put-upon, and it sounds like the scale’s already tipped.

Since the romance is still somewhat new, your roommate may as yet be in the “love is blind” stage. If that’s the case, your next step might be to gently, and privately, break it to him that some of his new guy’s habits are not what you’re used to, and you aren’t sure how to deal with them.

Unless you’re in a position to find somewhere else to live, it might be a case of your putting up with some of the oddities. However, the disappearance of commonly-owned or purchased household items is different, and certainly worth openly bringing up, even if Ray is visiting. That way he’s been put on notice that not everything in his boyfriend’s apartment is up for grabs. If he’s becoming part of the household, he has to contribute something material to its running — other than an Amazonian wonder.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My roommate headed into the Air Force about a year and a half ago and asked if I could hold onto his stuff in the garage of my house. It’s my own home and I always have a roommate or two to help pay for the expenses of running it. I don’t mind having my old roommate’s stuff in the garage. As a matter of fact, he pays me a little each month, which works out for both of us, because it’s more money in my pocket and less than he’d be paying at a storage place.

The trouble is that he has an on-line business that still sells some of the woodwork sculptures he did before he went into the service. He’s really good at it, and I’m glad people want to buy his work. But I don’t love that whenever his mother or one of his sisters comes over to get a piece he’s sold they usually don’t let me know ahead of time and just show up. Sometimes they wake me up after I’ve done an all-nighter at work, or have people over, and at other inconvenient times. I’ve mentioned the problem to my old roommate, but either he did not pass on my request to have his family give me more notice, or if he did, they just don’t care.

I don’t want to get rude with anyone, but what else can I do to stop them from just showing up? --- NOT A WAREHOUSE MANAGER

DEAR NOT A WAREHOUSE MANAGER: Why do you think you’d have to be rude? Since you don’t know if your former roommate passed on your request to give a heads-up before someone comes over, you have every right to let them know you need to be warned beforehand; and I don’t see why you can’t do it politely.

If being nice about it doesn’t work, then you should directly and clearly address the problem with both your old roommate and his family. If they don’t get the message then, that’s when it’s time to start thinking about the next step.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Although I had to finish my final semester on-line after moving back to my dad’s house, and the job I had lined up fell through, I was not doing too badly despite the pandemic. I was able to get a job at a small shop in the downtown area not far from my dad’s home after our state reopened. It only shut down for a few extra days because the owners were concerned about protests, which fortunately stayed peaceful.

Now that things are getting closer to normal, my dad is beginning to pressure me to start looking for someplace else to live, but honestly, I don’t feel like everything is back to normal enough to guarantee the shop won’t close again and everything will be how it was this spring. I don’t make that much that I could afford to pay rent and put away some money in case I find myself out of a job, especially since I was lucky to get the one I did.

What can I say to convince my dad I need a little more time before moving out, which I do want to do, but not right now? --- STILL NERVOUS

DEAR STILL NERVOUS: You’ve got plenty of company in your concerns about the immediate future. We’ve gone through a lot since the beginning of the year, and as much as many things are slowly finding a new normal, there’s still an understandable general sense of trepidation.

Talk to your dad about your feelings, if you haven’t already. Now that you’re making money, perhaps you could offer to either pay some rent or at least pitch in on helping with regular expenses. But be aware that your moving forward is in everyone’s best interest, and may have already happened by now if not for this being such an extraordinary time.