DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Both my fiancé and I were raised in a strong church-based Christian tradition, but neither of us has been practicing since we went away to college. Now that we’re getting married, our mothers want to do the whole big church thing, which isn’t what we want. We’ve finally persuaded them to let us have the ceremony take place at the reception venue, but they’re still insisting we have a religious ceremony, which honestly doesn’t mean much to us at this point in our lives.

Do we give in and let the pastor marry us, or push to do it our way? --- NO NEED FOR THE PASTOR

DEAR NO NEED FOR THE PASTOR: It’s your wedding and your day, but if it doesn’t really matter to you, and it would make your mothers happy, why not go with the pastor conducting the ceremony? Your mothers have already compromised on the location, maybe it’s your turn to give a little.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My cousin and her fiancé postponed their wedding due to COVID. It was supposed to be last August. In the official postponement announcement they sent out, they said a new date was still pending. I got that card, but in the past couple of weeks my mom and stepdad, and my other cousin and her husband got save-the-new-date cards, but I never did. I don’t know if it was an oversight, or if the card got lost, or what, but if she really doesn’t want me at her wedding, that hurts. She had even told me the date in November they were about to confirm when I talked to her a couple months ago. Does she think that served as my official notice, or am I being cut from the guest list? I thought we were closer than this.

How do I figure out if I’m getting upset over something real, or it’s just an oversight? --- THOUGHT I’D BE INVITED

DEAR THOUGHT I’D BE INVITED: You might want to wait a bit before getting upset about not receiving a save-the-new-date announcement. The wedding isn’t until the fall, and who knows what can happen between now and then.

Taking into consideration you were sent a postponement notice, and your cousin spoke to you specifically about when they were hoping to reschedule, I’d figure chances are good you’re still on the guestlist.

Although it isn’t exactly Emily Post proper, it’s possible, as you suggested, your cousin does indeed consider your conversation with her as standing in for an official pre-invitation announcement.

Finally, there are still plenty of ongoing issues with mail delivery. For instance, I’m still receiving first class mail postmarked two or more weeks earlier, often from within my own or a neighboring state.

House by a Cemetery Creeps Out Potential Homebuyer

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: While I’m not at all superstitious, my wife is, and because of its location, she doesn’t want to seriously consider what we both think of as the perfect house in every other way. It’s in a neighborhood that backs onto a cemetery. The house is near the cemetery’s oldest section, which hasn’t been actively used for decades, even though it is well cared for. The price and features of the house, not to mention an ideal property tax rate for our area, are not enough to convince my wife this is the place we should buy.

What else can I say to make her more open to the right house in not such a bad place? --- NOT AFRAID OF A FEW HEADSTONES

DEAR NOT AFRAID OF A FEW HEADSTONES: You refer to the house as “perfect”, but for your wife it breaks the cardinal rule of real estate — location, location, location — regardless of everything else in its favor.

One of you is going to have to compromise here, and if your wife truly feels she could never get used to the home’s nearest neighbors, then it’s probably time to move on in your house hunt.