DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My cousin and her fiancé postponed their wedding due to COVID. It was supposed to be last August. In the official postponement announcement they sent out, they said a new date was still pending. I got that card, but in the past couple of weeks my mom and stepdad, and my other cousin and her husband got save-the-new-date cards, but I never did. I don’t know if it was an oversight, or if the card got lost, or what, but if she really doesn’t want me at her wedding, that hurts. She had even told me the date in November they were about to confirm when I talked to her a couple months ago. Does she think that served as my official notice, or am I being cut from the guest list? I thought we were closer than this.

How do I figure out if I’m getting upset over something real, or it’s just an oversight? --- THOUGHT I’D BE INVITED

DEAR THOUGHT I’D BE INVITED: You might want to wait a bit before getting upset about not receiving a save-the-new-date announcement. The wedding isn’t until the fall, and who knows what can happen between now and then.

Taking into consideration you were sent a postponement notice, and your cousin spoke to you specifically about when they were hoping to reschedule, I’d figure chances are good you’re still on the guestlist.

Although it isn’t exactly Emily Post proper, it’s possible, as you suggested, your cousin does indeed consider your conversation with her as standing in for an official pre-invitation announcement.

Finally, there are still plenty of ongoing issues with mail delivery. For instance, I’m still receiving first class mail postmarked two or more weeks earlier, often from within my own or a neighboring state.

House by a Cemetery Creeps Out Potential Homebuyer

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: While I’m not at all superstitious, my wife is, and because of its location, she doesn’t want to seriously consider what we both think of as the perfect house in every other way. It’s in a neighborhood that backs onto a cemetery. The house is near the cemetery’s oldest section, which hasn’t been actively used for decades, even though it is well cared for. The price and features of the house, not to mention an ideal property tax rate for our area, are not enough to convince my wife this is the place we should buy.

What else can I say to make her more open to the right house in not such a bad place? --- NOT AFRAID OF A FEW HEADSTONES

DEAR NOT AFRAID OF A FEW HEADSTONES: You refer to the house as “perfect”, but for your wife it breaks the cardinal rule of real estate — location, location, location — regardless of everything else in its favor.

One of you is going to have to compromise here, and if your wife truly feels she could never get used to the home’s nearest neighbors, then it’s probably time to move on in your house hunt.

Generous Grandma Covers Cost of Grandkids' Cell Service

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My mom and dad started paying for my kids’ cell service back when they got their first cellphones and made it a family plan. My dad’s gone now, and my mother is on a pretty tight budget, but she still insists on paying for her grandkids’ service, even though she could save a bundle going to a single user plan. I keep telling her this, but she wants to do something to help her grandkids out. Only one of them is still in school. The others are working and fully able to pay for their own plans.

What can I say to convince her she doesn’t need to keep paying, especially since I said we would put our one kid who’s still a student on our plan? --- DAUGHTER OF A GENEROUS GRANDMA

DEAR DAUGHTER OF A GENEROUS GRANDMA: You do indeed have a generous mom. Her keeping the kids on the plan is certainly a gift to them, and saving money can be a good thing at any stage of life. However, I agree it’s entirely reasonable to expect at least the adult, non-student grandkids to cover their respective portions of the bill connected to their individual numbers. With the cost and complexity of services and plans changing all the time, it would help Grandma’s bottom line, while allowing her to feel she’s continuing to make a material contribution to her family.

If she won’t take cash payment from her grandchildren — and you on behalf of your student child — perhaps there are other ways she can be paid back, especially if any of you are local. For instance, you or your children could buy her groceries or treat her to outings or items her limited budget can’t easily afford.